Deadly Reactor (1989)

Trailer: 

*Spoilers Throughout*

What’s This About: The Amish are being terrorized in a post-nuke world by gangs of hedonists and they need a reaction. A Deadly reaction.

Here are some of my observations as I watched the film:

• Action! International! Pictures!
• OK, either I’m insane or this theme music sounds awfully similar to the end credits for Hellbound which came out a few years later!
• Another Stuart Whitman flick? What are the odds?!
• This, surprisingly, is our first David Heavener starring flick. For those unfamiliar with Mr. Heavener’s oeuvre suffice to say they are all schlock classics and it’s criminal we haven’t watched more of his shit for our site.
• “No one thought a nuclear holocaust could ever happen, but it did. And when it did, it left two kinds of people. The good kind and the bad.” Fucking Shakespeare!
• BEWBS!
• Looks like the bad kind of people are having a great time partying. I’m failing to see the bad here.
• If this is what a nuclear holocaust is, hell, push the button right fucking now.
• Boobs, booze, bonfire, and bawdiness. Armageddon don’t look too bad in David Heavener’s world.
• Until in a flashback the baddies just randomly appear at Heavener’s farm/ranch and shoot his niece and nephew and rape his sister and leave him for dead.
• Stuart Whitman also randomly appears and nurses him back to health.
• Back to the bonfire and revelry. The leader is named Hog. Some call him Boss since he’s in charge I’m sure.
• You can add Blowjobs to the list.
• The Amish survived the apocalypse. They probably didn’t even know it happened.
• “Mr. Dawson, you have a very lovely daughter.” “You stay away from my daughter.”
• Freddie Mercury enters the Amish cafe. He says he’s hungry and when the owner asks what he has to trade, Freddie says “How about your life for some food!” And points a pistol at them.
• Some lawman creeps up behind him and arrests him. And that seems to be it. OK moving on.
• Hog and his crew just like shooting Amish people for some reason. They also like raping but we definitely know the reason for that.

• And a random scene of Hog’s thugs beating up someone over a cocaine deal gone wrong.
• There’s plenty of booze and apparently cocaine in this post-nuke future. Not too much is scarce as far as I can tell. Even the bartender at this bar and grill is wearing a vest and has those arm garters like a saloon barkeep in the old west would wear. Maybe the Amish like to cosplay?
• Hog is stalking Shawna, the young adult Amish girl from the cafe. “She’s making my loaf rise!”
• This scene has a guy playing guitar (we only see his hand playing the guitar in a close up) for a bunch of Amish dancing in a circle like the Hora. Cutting back and forth between the dancers giggling and having a great time hopping in a circle (mind you the camera is in the center and the dancers are entering and leaving the frame and the camera is still) and the hand playing guitar (one point it stays on the guitar for 13 seconds!)
• Hog and his one goon crash the Hora celebration and Hog shoots one random Amish down and laughs and his goon shoots another in the back and also laughs. It’s important to enjoy what you do for a living.
• Duke (Stuart Whitman) makes his own weapons and ammunition because it’s scarce. Although Hog doesn’t seem to have an issue. Anyway, enjoy this minute-long scene of him tinkering and filling shells with powder.
• The guy that was beat up over the coke deal earlier is in the same jail with the Freddie Mercury guy. In the earlier scene, Hog’s men said “where’s the coke kilo” which I thought was a misspoken line but nope Kilo (Keylow) is his name!
• Hahahaha Bolie Johnson is Freddie Mercury. Apparently he’s a war hero or something. Keylow says he assumed he was dead and Bolie says almost after a missile strike. He says, they sewed him back together pretty good. Was he blown apart and reassembled?
• So much backstory here. So Bolie and Keylow were great friends back in the day but Bolie considers Keylow a coward and blames him for the platoon being attacked because Keylow fucked up and didn’t radio for help.
• I’m a little bit confused (so what else is fucking new). As far as I know the Amish live primarily in Pennsylvania and Ohio but this flick is set in what looks like out west (it was filmed in California) so are we to believe that the Amish scattered all over the US after the nuclear war or is the barren mountainous locale supposed to be wasteland from the war? Or maybe as luck would have it, the small Amish community that lived there in California survived armegeddon.
• Duke nursed Cody (Heavener) back to health but I guess the only clothes Duke had to give him were Amish clothes despite Duke wearing denim overalls. (It’s quite possible Cody was always Amish in his first scene when his family was attacked by Hog’s men but I wasn’t paying attention to the whole Amish thing yet)

• Cody needs Duke to teach him how to shoot a pistol. So either Cody is Amish or a complete idiot.
• “You mean I gotta learn how to get my gun out faster?” I should’ve kept a tally of all the sexual double entendres in all the movies I’ve been watching because there’s an instance in every single one.
• “It’s always better to be the REACTOR!”
• Deadly Reactor? I barely know her!
• I really don’t care how good Heavener is as a reactor, deadly or not. I just wish that he could act.
• Honestly, that title is fucking atrocious. I thought the reactor was going to be alluded to a nuclear plant’s reactor that went deadly causing the end of civilization.
• Duke makes his own moonshine and when Cody tries it he coughs and says it tastes like gasoline. OK if he is Amish, then he would never know anything about gasoline!
• Duke insists that if Cody is going to shoot like a cowboy, he also needs to learn how to smoke and drink. I can’t argue with that logic.
• Duke tells Cody that he thought all “preacher folk” stay away from guns and how did Cody learn to shoot like that. Moron, you just taught him!
• Wait a minute! Cody used to be a police officer?! Then why does he need Duke to teach him how to shoot a pistol?! This is so dumb.
• Cody asks why some shotgun shells are red and some are white. Obviously white shells makes you larger and the red ones make you small. And the shells that mother gives you don’t do anything at all. AT ALL!
• Duke says the red ones have the distance of a rifle and the power of a cannon and the white ones are fireshots, whatever that means. I’m just mentioning all this because I’m sure it’ll be on the test later on. [Editor: These different sorts of ammo never play into the film’s plot or anything]
• One morning, Duke is ambushed by 2 thugs while Cody is away. While taunting Duke, they shoot at him to make him dance (even though he’s lying on the ground) and that alerts Cody. Cody hesitates firing at them because he’s a pussy and they taunt him for being a preacher man who won’t shoot. Then they shoot Duke and then Cody kills them both. If only Cody reacted the deadly way in this scenario. Cody’s going to have to live with his pussiness for the rest of his life.
• So Hog took all the Amish dancing the Hora earlier hostage. And now they have the sheriff as well! Hog tells the Amish people that he’s in charge and then plays Russian roulette with the sheriff to show them not to misbehave. Not so much Russian roulette per se but he places one bullet in the cylinder and randomly spins it like Russian roulette but he pulls the trigger a second time at the sheriff’s back after the chance at his head was empty. This makes zero sense and not at all, AT ALL, clever writing.

• I mean was Hog willing on trying 6 times picking new body parts to aim at? So fucking asinine.
• Why does this flick feature Amish anyway? That’s an odd creative choice and the only reason I can think of why they choose this particular group of people is that they are meek and pacifists. That or the fact that the costumes would be super-duper easy.
• Maybe David Heavener recently rented Witness at his local Hollywood Video.
• And how would the Amish survive a nuclear war anyway? Last I checked their barns are made of wood—not lead! Maybe those crafty Mennonites have a ton of underground bunkers made out of wood that they built (imagine an Amish barn building but with bunkers).
• Hog was planning on “acquiring” Shawna for his own “purposes” but then a minion reminds him that they have a long drive ahead of them to pick up guns. I guess the raping will have to wait.
• “A man knows when death bites him on the ass.”
• Duke is dying and his dying wish is for Cody to read him something from the Bible (even though he’s not a bible-reading man—his words) and Cody picks Psalm 23. At least Cody knows the hits.
• Cody is now the DEADLY reactor!
• Again, this is just a western set in an apocalyptic future. There’s hardly any difference or commentary on the new civilization that the surviving humans have to deal with. No one’s complaining about gas or food or law and order. Seems the biggest difference is more Amish around.
• Bewbs!
• Some black dude in Hog’s inner circle is watching Shawna bath naked in a lake. I’m assuming his intent isn’t good since he’s holding a switchblade knife.
• HAHAHAHAHAHA. Shawna’s mom says that she shouldn’t bathe too long in the lake because the radiation isn’t good for her.
• This goofy, happy western music that plays whenever Cody is riding his horse is ridiculous.
• You really have to be some major sadistic asshole to torment and threaten Amish folk. How desperate are these hooligans?
• Cody’s in town. Time for some reacting!
• Instead of just blasting these goons away, Cody silently enters the church, takes the taunts and insults about being a preacher from the assholes and then goes over to the alter.
• Meanwhile back at the cafe, the black dude and the other goons are forcing Shawna’s mother to undress down to her undies and play guitar. It’s not much different than a Sabrina Carpenter concert. (second Sabrina Carpenter reference this month—I think my daughters are influencing me too much)
• That’s some deadly reacting! I don’t think I would’ve reacted quite as deadly as Cody but to each his own.
• Cody just shot the black dude in the dick! Hey! That’s overreacting!
• Are these bullets exploding on impact against the church walls? This is the oddest ricochet effects I’ve ever seen.
• Why don’t filmmakers know how Molotov cocktails work? They are not “bombs”, they are an incendiary weapon. Sheesh. Every movie that has them always has them explode like a grenade. It’s simply a bottle half-filled with gasoline with the opening stuffed with an oily rag that is slowly burning. I’m just telling you just in case…wink, wink…
• I’ve visited Amish in Lancaster County when I was a teenager and these Amish in this flick look nothing like real Amish. There’s not one bearded one to be seen! And I’m pretty sure that they wouldn’t name any child Shawna.
• Shawna’s dad is taking offense to Cody being a preacher (or dressing like one) that smokes, drinks, and kills. Fool? Have you looked outside?! I know you’re Amish but surely you see that the world has turned to absolute shit and your people are being terrorized by mad men! You should take any help you can get.
• There’s a new sheriff in town it seems.

• Wow. Practically mid-sentence, Bolie’s audio went from muffled to clear! I’m not complaining, I’m glad the film righted itself with the sound mixing.
• For some reason (Cody hasn’t said a word this whole scene with Bolie so far) he lets Bolie out of the jail cell and immediately Bolie grabs Cody’s gun out of the holster and points it at Cody’s head and says, “Give me one good reason not to blow your head off!” And then he looks down and lets Cody go. However, I was expecting Cody to have another gun pointing at Bolie’s dick but the film never showed that. So now I’m left to assume that both men got hard-ons at that moment.
• The sound mixing is still alternating mid-sentence. This is horse-shit!
• I’m not reacting very well to this piece of doo-doo movie.
• Cody wants Bolie to be his deputy in his fight against Hog. It’s not like he can ask any of those Amish sissies.
• The filmmakers really thinking outside the box here having Cody also bathe in the radioactive lake while Shawna watches.
• Did we skip past the part where Cody and Shawna bond and start to like each other? Hell, I think we skipped past the part where they even met each other. Anyway, in David Heavener’s universe, the girls he wants just undress for him immediately. He’s not called Heavener for nothing!
• Seriously, there’s a sex scene right now between two characters that have not spoken to each other yet.
• He didn’t even dry the radioactive water off his body before boning the girl. Faux pas dude.
• “Do you think we stand a chance against these guys?” “No! But if we don’t try then we have no chance at all.” AT ALL! Great pep talk Cody, really. Seriously, that is really bad dialogue.
• Cody tells them that the town only has 2 shotguns and 4 pistols. Also the town only has 5 men to wield these weapons. Shawna takes the last pistol since her father is a sissy-mary pacifist.
• “…Up on the ruff.” It’s pronounced ROOF you dumb hillbilly.
• He’s telling these Amish folk who have never handled a firearm before that they are low on ammo and to make every shot count. Yeah, don’t get your hopes up there Cody.
• Why is Bolie wearing a ripped T-shirt that is open practically to his navel as well as a leather vest?

• Cody asks Bolie why he’s staying and you know what Bolie says? You’re never gonna guess his reason for staying. He says: “Because I got no place to go.”
• Cody tells Bolie to give Keylow a gun. I thought they were out of guns. Unless Bolie gave him his only gun. Whatever.
• Cody calls Shawna ‘baby’ despite them meeting that very morning. Man, this relationship is moving supersonic, especially for a preacher and an Amish girl.
• And they say “I love you” and that God brought them together. This is absurd.
• I wonder what the Rumspringa will be like next year!
• “I brought this gun, just in case.” OK. Yeah, sure, I mean we all know that Hog and his goons are coming soon and that you already deputized the whole town for defense. Why is he mentioning this now?!
• Wait he’s leaving the most pacifists in the church the shotgun. Isn’t that HIS shotgun?! He said they only had 2 shotguns and 4 pistols earlier. Which is a load of Crom-damned horsepoop!
• “I guess it won’t hurt to say a few prayers.” For the movie? Nah, that’s a lost cause.
• The mayor calls out to Cody to wait before leaving on his horse but Cody ignores him. I mean, at that distance and how loud the mayor called out to him he have had to hear him. Anyway, laughably, the mayor waves to him despite Cody riding away from him. This is Cody’s Shane moment.
• Cody told the Amish folks that he thinks Hog will attack at dawn. But I’ve seen enough of Hog to know that he ain’t much of the early-bird-gets-the-worm type.
• Shawna’s mother says she can tell that Shawna is in love. Despite them being Amish, I’m shocked that her mother is cool with her falling for a cowboy. It’s an unusual reaction.
• Her mother says that she can tell Shawna’s in love because she’s changed in the past few days. Past few days?! It’s only been ONE!
• I don’t think the filmmakers even know anything about the Amish at all. AT ALL!
• Bolie is still complaining about Keylow and the radio. Let it go amigo.
• Keylow then admits that the radio was broken the whole time and he lied and said it was working to give the other soldiers hope. Plus he ran with the radio so the enemy would follow him to protect the platoon. Is anyone else believing this bullshit?
• Yeah, I didn’t think about it at the time but why the fuck did Cody leave the town? I’d go back to double check he said anything but I have a lot less important things to worry about.
• This is unbelievable. Some goons arrive (in a convertible mind you) and two Amish stationed on the roof (sorry ruff) open fire on one dude below but they are aiming up when the camera cuts to them. Also they wasted 10 shots failing to hit the fella.
• The goon fires back and misses 4 shots as well. Is anyone a decent shot other than Cody in this trainwreck of a flick?
• Now Shawna and some other Amish dude are shooting at the goons and missing each and every shot. I’m getting second-hand embarrassment watching this.

• It’s hilarious how bad the angle of the guns being fired are not even close to matching what they are aiming at when the camera cuts between the Amish and the goons. Every Amish as well as Bolie and Keylow are firing straight ahead or slightly high when they are all on top of buildings. It looks so stupid. So fucking stupid.
• Hate to harp on this but this has been bugging me for weeks now since I’ve seen it. So sure these actors are not great, in fact, they stink and I can’t believe even a bad actor can’t realize that what they are shooting at is below them. However, each and every good guy actor is firing straight or higher, so maybe this is all Heavener’s directing them to shoot in that direction. Like I said, every one of them are aiming wrong. If it was 1 or 2 I’d chalk it up to really awful acting but all of them? They have had to have been told to do so.

• Maybe this is addressed in the Director’s commentary on the DVD.
• Also this “shoot out” is probably the most boring fire-fight I’ve ever seen. (apologies to Omega Cop) The goons don’t move on the street or try to take cover—they just stand still and shoot back. The townsfolk are just firing left and right (but never down), also never moving their positions. So it’s just static shots of people firing up or down-ish and missing every shot. And the goons hardly react to even being shot at. It’s like a Tim & Eric skit.
• You’re just wasting my time. You’re just wasting time.

• After one Amish dude runs out of ammo the goon below him commands him to come down. Which the Amish idiot immediately obliges!
• The mayor comes out of the laundromat and just randomly fires his pistol like 5 times in various directions and we never see what he’s firing at!
• Hey what a minute! The Amish can’t operate a laundromat!!
• Hahaha, after the mayor’s shooting spree is over he’s taken aback by 3-4 shots towards the laundromat and is overtaken by a goon.
• “Alright! Come on down! NOW!” Great line delivery random goon.
• Why in fucks good name is Bolie and Keylow obeying the bad guys?! They are literally walking down a fire escape of this building. Why are they not taking cover in the building is beyond comprehension. It’s not like the goons have hostages to leverage with. Everyone in town has the high ground or a building to hide and maneuver in yet, they surrender faster than the French.
• A good idea for this flick would have the Amishs’ superior carpentry skills come into play to defend themselves. Like trap doors or boobie traps or even some sort of shields or something—ANYTHING! Even the Three Amigos had the townsfolk make dozens of Amigo costumes to fool El Guapo since their best skills were sewing clothes! Oh well, another missed opportunity.
• Nah, actually the real missed opportunity was when I had the chance to buy two six-packs of Weihenstephaners instead of one and I ran out of the six like 20 minutes ago!
• Welp out of bullets, I better surrender now.
• I’m starting to get the impression it was a bad idea to have Amish folk defend a town with guns.

• One goon tells Shawna that he’s going to allow her to give him a big blowjob before he kills her. And who said that romance is dead?
• Suddenly, Cody appears in the window above the hotel where the goon is threatening Shawna and her mom and drops a grenade at the goon’s feet. Not surprisingly for this dumb flick, the goon is frozen with fear. When the grenade explodes it hilariously thrusts the goon 25 feet backwards into the air.
• I’m no grenade expert but wouldn’t the explosion also harm Shawna and her mom at the close distance they were to the goon?
• I don’t like that there’s still 20 minutes left. And I have not seen one fucking pretzel! What kind of Amish are these?!
• This cheap flick can’t afford a crashing through a glass window stunt so we have to settle for an open window stunt. Boo!
• Hog tells a goon to “Take this old lady with the rest of them.” Does he mean rest of the townsfolk or put this old lady in the group of only old ladies?
• In a scene that has to be seen to be believed, Cody is ambushed in an empty room and still somehow dodges every bullet the goon with the machine gun is firing. Apparently the only person who can actually shoot a target is Cody. 

• Again, an automatic fucking machine gun!
• Another open window falling stunt.
• Cody wastes a perfectly good grenade when instead of shooting a goon he makes him drop his weapon and then makes him turn around. Cody then places the unpinned grenade in his pocket then walks away. The goon picks up his gun to shoot Cody but the grenade kills him. Maybe it looked cooler in the writer’s head?
• I don’t like that there’s still 17 minutes left. And I’m nearly out of Amish jokes.
• It’s amazing how ineptly and pointless this flick is written. Like, why have a character like Bolie in this if he’s not being a better contributor to the fight or a better right-hand man for Cody. He was introduced early in this flick as a sort of anti-hero and later on Cody deputizes him because he obviously sees potential in Bolie, but Bolie is now just a hostage sitting on his ass with the other Amish. Bolie is as pointless to the story as Jason Newstead during the …And Justice For All sessions.
• Did they pick the Amish because they knew the Amish wouldn’t be offended by this movie since they’d never be able to see this? I’m jealous. I wish I could never have seen this.
• Bolie is telling the mayor that Cody is drawing Hog and all his men out into the open. A. How does he know that was Cody’s plan? B. How does he know Cody is currently doing this since he’s sitting on his ass with the other Amish away from everything? and C. Because Cody is doing this plan, Bolie calls him “The Reactor.”
• Such an odd moniker to call a hero. The REACTOR! Bafflingly odd adjective for a gunslinger.
• Also if he’s the one drawing Hog’s goons out into the open, that’s not really reacting is it? It’s more directing. Which is a helluva lot more directing than this movie’s director is capable of.
• Cody dispatches one of the two goons guarding Bolie and the rest and before he can take down the second, Keylow bravely places himself between Bolie and the goon and gets shot twice in the gut. However, before he falls down he manages to swing two round-house kicks to the goon. Keylow is also a reactor!
• So Keylow gets a brave hero scene but Bolie does not? The film already established that Keylow was always a hero and painted Bolie as the anti-hero that needed a redeeming moment. 
• A random goon runs over to the church and barges in where Shawna’s dad has some Amish holed up. Shawna’s dad also becomes a deadly reactor when he grabs the shotgun that Cody left for him and kills the goon (off screen).
• A goon informs Hog while he’s hauling Shawna to a dilapidated shack that most of the goons have been killed. Guess the raping will have to wait yet again. Hog can’t seem to catch a break.
• Nevermind, rape comes first in Hog’s list of priorities.
• No really, take your time Cody. Don’t rush things. Feel your moment. Ride the vibes.
• In the 2 minutes Cody took to draw his pistol, raise his arm in a firing and aiming position and slowly walking behind Hog as he’s accosting Shawna only for Cody to say “You’re a dead man” and ruining the surprise attack, another goon comes behind Cody and hits him with an ax handle with no ax. I can’t express how lame and underwhelming this whole movie is.
• I don’t like that there’s still 10 minutes left.
• Hog tells his goon to kill Cody and that he’s relocating his raping to the railroad tracks. Maybe after he rapes Shawna he’ll tie her to the tracks like Snidely Whiplash.

• Cody is tied up to a bed mattress with all the springs exposed. Some random goon that we’ve never seen before chuckles at him and draws not one, but TWO pistols and aims it at Cody. How is Cody going to get out of this pickle of a predicament?
• Is this goon missing Cody on purpose?! Why is this happening?!?!
• He rather scare Cody and then hit him with a baseball bat. Fucking hell this fucking movie fucking sucks.
• The moan of pain Cody let out after the goon hit his dick with the baseball bat was a little too pleasing than pain if you ask me. Not the reaction that we were expecting.
• Cody waiting this long to utilize his Travis-Bickle-concealed-forearm-pistol to shoot the goon after he hit him with a bat a couple of times and in the dick no less!? Add to this absurdity that Cody was only chained to the bed mattress with one hand—the non-pistol concealed hand! Both my eyes and my neck are killing me from rolling them and shaking men head in disbelief.
• Luckily that dead goon had the key to the handcuffs. Did you even dare doubt that?!
• Hog can’t run for shit. And it’s a miracle Cody can walk much less run after getting a bat to the knee and to his little deadly reactor.
• Cody is cornered and gets a shotgun blast to the shoulder. But he’s alright; seriously, don’t you worry.
• Wait a cotton-picking minute! As Hog comes out of some bushes he finds Cody aiming not one but TWO shotguns at him and gets a few dozen holes full of hot stinking lead. Where did these shotguns come from? I thought Cody said they only had TWO. The film established that he only had TWO. They made it a point in a scene when Cody is dolling out weapons to the townsfolk. I didn’t count the shotguns nor did I assume he only had TWO—the film made it a point and called it to our attention. Fuck this shit.
• Everything crucial just so happens in this flick. A movie needs a romantic sub-plot, just have the hero and leading lady just fall in love out of the blue. The villain needs to die, just have the hero find random weapons when all hope seems lost. There’s no build up and satisfying arc to anything!
• Now Shawna’s dad is apologizing to Cody for the way he treated him. All the loose ends are coming together at last!
• Fucking Bolie did fucking absolute fucking jack fucking shit, just fucking like I fucking assumed he fucking would.
• I don’t like that there’s still 4 fucking minutes left.
• Another random sedan rolls into town and stops in front of the townsfolk and Cody. The driver, who kinda looks like Bruno Kirby from City Slickers, (a second City Slickers mention this month?!) calls Cody over, grabs his lapel to bring him closer and menacingly asks him “Before I take this town apart, where can we get a bite to eat?” Cody tells them there’s a cafe at the end of the street. Mind you, this is all the same day.
• When Cody feels up to it, he’ll go and take care of them I’m sure. But for now he’s got less important shit to do.
• Another flick where the villain and hero don’t really interact or become real adversaries. This whole Hog vs. Cody thing was akin to pest control that had to be dealt with as non-personally as possible.
• Of course the only two songs in this lame ass flick are written by David fucking Heavener. Fucking douchebag.

 

What year?!: They didn’t say but knowing the Amish, it’s probably 1623.

Who are the Enemies: Hog and his disciples of pain. Bolie and Keylow were for a hot minute but they’re all good now.

What Happened to the Earth?: Nuclear Holocaust

Final Thoughts: David Heavener! Now I’ve seen 2 or 3 of his other movies and they don’t compare in bad filmmaking as Deadly Reactor. This flick is hilariously bad. I wish it was a little less boring and I’d give it a score compared to Omega Cop in terms of So-Bad-its-Good status but don’t get me wrong, I did enjoy ripping this one apart and all of its flaws are astonishing and baffling to witness. Practically every decision in this movie is wrong or dumb. Just the shoot out scenes alone are enough to make you question reality. Like Omega Cop this isn’t a post-nuke movie per se—its main theme is not surviving in an apocalyptic wilderness but a “modern-day” western with tired old western tropes. It’s like Heavener watched some old westerns at 2x speed and threw some cliches at the wall to see what would stick. The lone hero who seeks revenge but never even meets the villain. The hero helps the town but has to leave for some reason before returning at the pivotal moment. The redeemed anti-hero who never even really helped or had a redeeming moment. The rushed romance that happens out of nowhere and flimsy and mostly absent main villain all add up to one of the best examples of a failed vanity project. David Heavener—we love ya but you are a piss-poor filmmaker.

Score: 2 4 Shotguns (out of 10)