Schlocktoberfest XVI – Day 8: Exterminators of the Year 3000

Exterminators of the Year 3000 (1983)

Trailer:

*Spoilers Throughout*

What’s This About: The year 3000 runs afoul of exterminators

Here are some of my observations as I watched the film:

I legit just thought there was something wrong with my sound because the beginning credits were completely silent and that’s just a weird thing to do to open your movie.
This may be a wasteland but you could still wash your car once in a while.
“God damn transistor freaks…” Whoa are these guys Republicans running for office in 2026? … ohh, “transistor.” Still.
Are these two police guys just screwing around?
What an amazing stunt driving through that trailer made of aluminum foil! Action packed!
This Not-an-Interceptor has a lot of working technology inside for a wasteland scenario. Although it is the year 3000, so maybe this technology is outdated horseshit.
The guy in the Not-an-Interceptor is a cross between Mad Max and Ace Hunter from Megaforce.
Ha somebody just randomly steals Max Hunter’s car. What a dumbass.
There’s shaky cam and then there’s seizure-during-a-9.8-earthquake cam. This is gnawing at the throat of my motion sickness.
Ha I love that there are a handful of structures out in the wastes and Max Hunter has driven through every single one of them.

Max Hunter crashes the police car in an accident that would kill 99% of normal humans but he doesn’t even seem shaken up.
Back at the wasteland hideout a boy named Tommy is waiting for his dad (Max Hunter?) to come on home, and is told by some other kids that he’s never coming back and he’s a coward. They’re probably right, but still. Maybe it’s because they’re all Italian dubbed into English and he’s seemingly American also dubbed into English.
Running off and yelling “Mommy!” won’t make them think you’re less of a pussy, Tommy.
Max Hunter’s name is “Fred”? Apologies to Freds, but that has to be one of the lamest name choices for a post-apocalyptic action hero.
“There’s no water in the water hole, just mud!” Then what turned the dirt into mud? Have people been pissing into the water hole? Again? Check the mud hole, it could be full of water.
This is a nuclear apocalypse, update your bingo card accordingly.
I think this Senator is from The Christmas That Almost Wasn’t.
Man these Italians just don’t give one solitary shit about completely ripping off The Road Warrior. It’s even more shameless than The Load Warrior and Load Warrior 2: The Second Coming.
I’m fine with water being the scarce resource everyone covets, but then where are they getting all the gasoline from? It is the year 3000, maybe all the cars are electric. Well I guess if that was the case the cars wouldn’t constantly be exploding. Or would they?
I love that the exterminators leader, Crazy Bull(?), keeps calling everyone “mother grabbers.”
The good guys’ caravan has taken a total ass beating. How did they ever survive any trip outside their home?
So far Crazy Bull and Lady Wolverine are my favorite characters.
Max Hunter is banging a rock on the side of the car he’s trapped in, is he a mute?
I guess Max Hunter isn’t Tommy’s dad, Fred?
Ok Max Hunter’s name is Alien. Fucking Alien.
Real exciting scenes of Tommy aimlessly following Alien around.
Wait the car Alien was driving before was Crazy Bull’s and it was called Exterminator? I thought the gang was the Exterminators? Or maybe it’s all of the above.

Where would Crazy Bull even get that fur vest he’s wearing? There don’t appear to be any animals around whatsoever. And everyone else is wearing shiny leather. They probably should’ve costumed everyone in rags. Or fully nude. But I guess I’m thinking of Load Warrior 2 again.
I really hope they go through with quartering Tommy with their vehicles.
YEAH THEY TORE HIS FUCKING ARM OFF!! AWESOME!!!!!!
Oh it’s a robot arm. Fuck this.
If it hadn’t been a robot arm you decided to save him a bit too late, Alien.
Also, wouldn’t his real arm tear off before his metal arm?
His robot arm hurts? How?
So this guy Papillon is supposedly going to fix Tommy’s robot arm and says, “All right, my boy, we’d better get in the truck.” Don’t fall for that old line, Tommy, trust me.
So far Papillon has given Tommy beer, tickled him, and told Alien to leave them alone. I don’t like this one bit.

Oh I think they really killed that snake…
Trash??! From Return of the Living Dead???!!! No, just Alien’s crazy ex. How does one remain attractive in a world with nuclear fallout?
If there was a nuclear war, and the ozone layer was gone, wouldn’t everyone be dead and/or dying of radiation, cancer, and severe sunburn?
Alien double-crosses Trash, which is great, but if he knows where the water is, couldn’t he just go back and load up whenever he wants?
Alien has punched Trash in the face twice now and there’s not a mark on her. Everyone is way too clean in this picture.
So the place where the water is has a bunch of intact buildings, why don’t they just live here?
Alien and Trash get attacked by some dudes wearing garbage bag suits and Zodiac Killer hoods.
The death traps in this place are slower than a sloth wiping its ass with its non-dominant hand.
Yeah splash around and waste the world’s most precious resource, dipshits.
I hope the water is irradiated and that’s why the guys protecting it had melted faces.
It’s neat that this car in the nuclear holocaust has self-inflating tires.
Tommy used his robot arm to throw a rock into a bad guy’s head, so that was nice.
I am very confused how Papillon got into a position to be stabbed by Lady Wolverine. I guess his career as a Jack Elam impersonator ends here.
Tommy said Alien saved his life, and he has turn return the favor, but he saved Alien’s life in the beginning, so Alien was the one who returned the favor.
Tommy is using his robot arm to throw dynamite at the Exterminators and I really hope he screws up and throws one at Alien.
Crazy Bull charges at Alien and Alien just shoots him. There’s something very familiar about this.
Wait were they only using the water to grow weed? The leader does kind of look like Chong. Tommy Chong! Now it all makes sense.
So one of the water factory ghouls blows up their own water factory for some reason, and everyone is sad, but then it inexplicably starts pouring rain even though it apparently hasn’t rained in several years. Was that factory preventing rain? Maybe it’s space piss.

What year?!: I’m willing to bet it’s around 3000.

Who are the Enemies?: The Exterminators. The gang, not the car. Although sometimes the car when The Exterminators (the gang) are driving it (the car).

What Happened to the Earth?: Nukes, no rain.

Final Thoughts: Yeahhhhh, these are all the same. Water and/or gas are scarce and there are roving bands some bad some good and settlements some bad some good and they fight over the remaining water/gas, and usually there are some weird cars involved. Rinse (with piss), repeat (with more piss), profit (absolutely). This isn’t completely unwatchable, but if you liked The Road Warrior (and LOVED The Load Warrior) and you yearn for more of the same this won’t help much. It’s got some OK car stunts in it but so does the teen driving school across the street. Recommended for cockroach haters, amputees, trashy aliens, bad drivers, and people who take really long showers.

Score: 3 Mother Grabbers (out of 10)