Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 5-23-2014

Todays Headlines

[BEGIN MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]

GODZILLA DIRECTOR GARETH EDWARDS HAS SIGNED ON TO DIRECT THE FIRST OF THE STAR WARS SPINOFFS, IN WHICH EPIC ACTION SCENES BETWEEN HAN SOLO AND BOBA FETT WILL BE GLIMPSED BUT NOT SEEN UNTIL THE LAST FIVE MINUTES OF THE MOVIE.

ANOTHER PERSON WHO IS ATTEMPTING TO DIRECT EVERY MOVIE IN THE NEXT THREE YEARS IS ALFONSO CUARON, WHO IS NOW RUMORED TO BE UP FOR A PREQUEL TO THE SHINING, CALLED “DULL.” 

HERE IS A MAP OF THE NEW JURASSIC PARK. NOT PICTURED: THE R.O.T.O.R.DOME, IN WHICH R.O.T.O.R. FIGHTS DINOSAURS TO THE DEATH FOR THE AMUSEMENT OF FAT, DROOLING TOURISTS WHO LIKE TO SIT IN THE “BLOOD ZONE” WHERE THEY WILL GET WET. 

TODAY’S BIRTHDAYS: DAVID HARRIS, BETTER KNOWN AS COCHISE IN THE WARRIORS, IS 55!

[END MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]

[TODAY’S TRAILER: LIFE ITSELF]


12 thoughts on “Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 5-23-2014

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