Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 4-18-2014

Todays Headlines

[BEGIN MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]

EARTH-SHATTERING CASTING NEWS: MARA WILSON WILL NOT REPRISE HER ROLE AS “LITTLE GIRL” IN THE MRS. DOUBTFIRE SEQUEL. HER REPLACEMENT IS DOWN TO TWO NAMES: R.O.T.O.R. AND WILLIAM “THE REFRIGERATOR” PERRY.

SO BRYAN SINGER MIGHT BE A PEDOPHILE? IF THIS IS TRUE, THERE IS NOTHING THAT GRINDS R.O.T.O.R.’S GEARS MORE THAN A MOVIE-MAKING PEDOPHILE.

ZACK SNYDER IMPLIES THAT THEY ARE USING BATMAN AS SUPERMAN’S ANTAGONIST BECAUSE SUPERMAN HAS NO OTHER VILLAINS TO FIGHT BESIDES GENERAL ZOD.

R.O.T.O.R. JUST PROCESSED THIS AS WEIRD: THEY ARE MAKING A NEW MACBETH MOVIE WITH MICHAEL FASSBENDER AS MAC AND MARION COTILLARD AS BETH, AND EVERYONE WILL HAVE A SCOTTISH ACCENT EXCEPT COTILLARD, WHO WILL KEEP HER FRENCH ACCENTS BECAUSE FRENCH ACTORS ARE INCAPABLE OF DOING OTHER ACCENTS. SO WHY DID THEY NOT JUST CAST AN ACTRESS WHO COULD DO A SCOTTISH ACCENT? OR HAVE R.O.T.O.R. DUB HER LINES, LIKE R.O.T.O.R. DID FOR MEL GIBSON IN BRAVEHEART?

 STEVEN SPIELBERG’S NEXT MOVIE SOUNDS… REALLY BORING. MAYBE HE WILL KEEP THE SAME BASIC STORY AND HAVE IT BE AN INDIANA JONES-E.T. TEAM-UP ADVENTURE INSTEAD.

TODAY’S BIRTHDAYS: HONEY, I RUINED RICK MORANIS’S 61ST BIRTHDAY!

[END MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]

[TODAY’S TRAILER: JERSEY BOYS]


9 thoughts on “Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 4-18-2014

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