Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 3-11-2014

Todays Headlines

 

[BEGIN MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]

JASON SUDEIKIS IS THE NEW FLETCH! NOW EVERYONE WHO WATCHED FLETCH LIVES AND SCREAMED, “MORE OF THIS!!” WILL GET EXACTLY WHAT THEY WANT!

PEE WEE HERMAN’S BIKE HAS SOLD FOR $36,600 AT AUCTION, WHICH BESTS THE $37.62 WINNING AUCTION BID FOR R.O.T.O.R.’S ORIGINAL HUMAN SKIN SUIT. BUT TO BE FAIR, IT WAS INFESTED WITH LICE AND SILVERFISH, WAGING A NEVERENDING TURF WAR.

DID YOU GUYS KNOW THAT RENEE ZELLWEGER RETIRED FROM ACTING FOR 4 YEARS? WELL, IT WAS LESS OF A RETIREMENT THAN R.O.T.O.R. LOCKING HER UP FOR FOUR YEARS FOR PERPETUAL DUCK FACE.

THIS NEW GODZILLA POSTER REVEALS THAT THE BEAST IS MADE ENTIRELY OF EXPLOSIONS, WHICH IS CONFUSING BUT COMPLETELY AWESOME, EVEN BY R.O.T.O.R.’S LOFTY STANDARDS.

godzillamondo

TODAY’S BIRTHDAYS: JERRY ZUCKER IS 64. PLEASE HELP US, JERRY ZUCKER. COMEDY NEEDS YOU.

[END MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]
[TODAY’S TRAILER: THE KENTUCKY FRIED MOVIE]

 

7 thoughts on “Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 3-11-2014

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