[BEGIN MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]
JASON SUDEIKIS IS THE NEW FLETCH! NOW EVERYONE WHO WATCHED FLETCH LIVES AND SCREAMED, “MORE OF THIS!!” WILL GET EXACTLY WHAT THEY WANT!
PEE WEE HERMAN’S BIKE HAS SOLD FOR $36,600 AT AUCTION, WHICH BESTS THE $37.62 WINNING AUCTION BID FOR R.O.T.O.R.’S ORIGINAL HUMAN SKIN SUIT. BUT TO BE FAIR, IT WAS INFESTED WITH LICE AND SILVERFISH, WAGING A NEVERENDING TURF WAR.
DID YOU GUYS KNOW THAT RENEE ZELLWEGER RETIRED FROM ACTING FOR 4 YEARS? WELL, IT WAS LESS OF A RETIREMENT THAN R.O.T.O.R. LOCKING HER UP FOR FOUR YEARS FOR PERPETUAL DUCK FACE.
THIS NEW GODZILLA POSTER REVEALS THAT THE BEAST IS MADE ENTIRELY OF EXPLOSIONS, WHICH IS CONFUSING BUT COMPLETELY AWESOME, EVEN BY R.O.T.O.R.’S LOFTY STANDARDS.
Hard Ticket to Home Video 
JASON SUDEIKIS IS THE NEW FLETCH!
Consider me as interested in that as I would be in a three hour conference meeting about Caller ID.
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Why does there have to be a new version of everything old?!?! WRITE ORIGINAL MATERIAL, DAMMIT!!
I wish I didn’t have to decree this as often as I do…
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To be fair, Fletch was a series of books, and this is an adaptation of one of those books, not a remake of the Chevy Chase movie. That fat douchebag Kevin Smith has been trying to get it made for years with Jason Lee starring. I’m so happy his efforts failed but someone else’s succeeded.
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I know!!! And why Jason Sudekis???????????
PTUI
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Yeah he’s a human charisma vacuum
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Perpetual duck face! Hahaha! Can we lock everyone up for that??
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Yes, starting with YOU!!
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