Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 11-13-2013

Todays Headlines

 

[BEGIN MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]

INDEPENDENCE DAY 2 HAS BEEN PUSHED BACK A YEAR TO JULY 1, 2016, WHICH WOULD BE 20 YEARS AFTER THE ORIGINAL CAME OUT, IN CASE YOU WANTED TO FEEL OLD TODAY. R.O.T.O.R. LOVES TO RIP YOUR SPIRIT DOWN BEFORE YOU ARE EXECUTED.

PETER PAN IS GETTING A BATMAN BEGINS-LIKE MOVIE. LIKE PAN, R.O.T.O.R. WILL NEVER GROW UP, AND LIKE CAPTAIN HOOK, R.O.T.O.R. LOVES EVISCERATING PEOPLE WITH A SHARP HOOK.

THE UPCOMING ANT-MAN IS LOOKING TO CAST SOME FUNNY PEOPLE. ANTS ARE FUNNY TO R.O.T.O.R. BECAUSE THEY SCURRY AROUND, KEEPING BUSY, TRYING TO BUILD A LIFE, THEN R.O.T.O.R. CRUSHES THEM IN A SECOND, MAKING EVERYTHING THEY HAVE DONE IRRELEVANT. YES, YOU HUMANS ARE THE ANTS IN THIS SCENARIO. R.O.T.O.R. FEELS THE NEED TO POINT THAT OUT, YOU IDIOTIC SACKS OF GOOP.

HERE IS THE FIRST TRAILER FOR MALEFICENT WHERE ANGELINA JOLIE WEARS GREEN CONTACTS AND A WEIRD HAT. T.H.O.M.A.S. IS ESPECIALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS ONE BECAUSE OF THE BLACK MAGICK INVOLVED. HE HAS EATEN SO MANY HUMAN HEARTS IN THE PAST WEEK THAT R.O.T.O.R. CAN BARELY RIP THEM OUT OF THE CHESTS OF CRIMINALS FAST ENOUGH.

[END MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]
[DEMONSTRATE BLACK MAGICK AS PART OF SCARED STRAIGHT PROGRAM]

7 thoughts on “Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 11-13-2013

Got something to say?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s