Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 11-4-2013

Todays Headlines

DEATH BED IS DEAD. R.O.T.O.R. NOT RESPONSIBLE. IT IS GOOD TO BE BACK TO WORK AND CLEAN AND SOBER. R.O.T.O.R. HAS DONE A LOT OF SOUL SEARCHING OVER THE PAST MONTH, AND DISCOVERED THAT R.O.T.O.R. DOES NOT HAVE A SOUL, SO R.O.T.O.R. WILL NOT CHANGE ONE BIT. R.O.T.O.R. WILL CONTINUE TO EXECUTE CRIMINALS NO MATTER THE CRIME. BECAUSE THAT IS R.O.T.O.R.’S JOB. IN ADDITION TO PROVIDING YOU WITH THE LATEST MOVIE NEWS.

[BEGIN MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]

JOE CORNISH, DIRECTOR OF ATTACK THE BLOCK, MAY BE THE NEW DIRECTOR OF STAR TREK 3. R.O.T.O.R. ATTACKED AN ENTIRE BLOCK ONCE AFTER THEY THREW A BLOCK PARTY WITHOUT A PERMIT. THAT BLOCK WAS BURNED TO THE GROUND.

GIRL FROM THOR: THE DARK WORLD (NOT THE EMACIATED ONE OR THE ONE WITH THE HEAVING BOSOM) MAY JUMP COMIC BOOK COMPANIES AND PLAY WONDER WOMAN, FIRST IN BATMAN VS. SUPERMAN, WHICH, OF COURSE AS YOU WILL RECALL, STARS R.O.T.O.R. AS BEN AFFLECK AS BATMAN AFTER R.O.T.O.R. SKINNED HIM ALIVE TO MAKE A NEW HUMAN SUIT. R.O.T.O.R. HOPES SHE CAN KEEP UP WITH R.O.T.O.R.’S ACTING INTENSITY, OR SHE WILL BE EXECUTED, NATURALLY.

LONGTIME JACKASS DIRECTOR JEFF TREMAINE WILL DIRECT A MOTLEY CRUE FEATURE FILM. R.O.T.O.R. ONCE WENT UNDERCOVER AND PARTIED WITH MOTLEY CRUE, THEN TRIED TO EXECUTE THEM ALL VIA HEROIN OVERDOSE. IT DID NOT WORK, AND THEY ROAM FREE YET TODAY.

 

[END MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]
[BEGIN REBIRTH OF DANCE SEQUENCE]

 

 
 

9 thoughts on “Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 11-4-2013

  1. I will believe they have actually chosen a Wonder Woman when I have bought a ticket and am sitting in a seat to see the movie. Seriously, that casting choice has been “rumored” over the years as much as the mythical Janis Joplin biopic, what is their problem? No offense to R.O.T.O.R., of course.

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