Schlocktoberfest II: Recap of Terror!

Thus concludes our 17th Annual Schlocktoberfest, now in its second year. Schlocktoberfest II: Electric BOO-galoo was many things to many people. We were very pleased to actually have readership this year, which motivated us to make it through some really horrible movies. We had more views in October than we had total in the past year. We couldn’t have done it without you. That is to say, we probably wouldn’t have done it without anyone reading. HUrricane Sandy may have screwed us up a bit at the end and kind of ruined Halloween, but we were lucky to get through it with just a little power loss. Now our antiquated inferno furnaces are back and running at full blast. Let’s recap!

In order from best to worst score:

Fat Albert’s Halloween Special (9)
The Gate (8.5)
Sleepaway Camp (8.5)
Humanoids From the Deep (8.5)
Trilogy of Terror (8)
April Fool’s Day (8)
Fade to Black (8)
The Blob (7.5)
Killer Klowns From Outer Space (7.5)
Eyes of Laura Mars (7)
Tales From the Darkside (7)
Dead Heat (7)
Saturday the 14th (6.5)
Mom (6.5)
The Sentinel (6.5)
Halloween III: Season of the Witch (6)
Dracula A.D. 1972 (6)
Deranged (5.5)
Creepshow 2 (5)
Brain Damage (5)
Elvira – Mistress of the Dark (5)
The Initiation (4.5)
Night Flier (4)
Death Bed: The Bed That Eats (4)
Lady in White (4)
Deadly Friend (3.5)
The Nesting (3)
Sssssss (3)
Dreamaniac (2.5)
The Horror Show (2)
Birdemic (0)

Again, like last year, Brian went through more suffering, having watched the bottom 5 movies on the list. I think its a bit of a cheat that the highest scored “movie” is an animated TV special that was mostly scored (IMHO) for sentimental reasons. (I stand by my 9 score! -Brian)

Brad’s Thoughts

Before we began our second year of 31 days of horror flicks we were already despondent and weary. Last year we worked very hard for what seemed just for our own amusement. It certainly is a different ball-game having ardent and loyal as well as interested readers. I’m speaking for myself but writing these reviews had way more purpose and fulfillment. I worked even harder and longer hours than last year since I have a 4-month-old that still occasionally woke up at all hours of the night. There were a few nights that I’m up til 1:00 or 2:00 am finishing up a review and she’s up an hour or 2 later for me to change and feed (I’m a stay-at-home dad BTW). On the other hand being a SAHD means I have more time to watch the films during the day so I can review them at night, so that was a decent system for me this year. Next year, I’ll have more time to watch better movies and better reviews.

Most of the films I watched this year were lackluster, especially in the beginning to the middle. Unlike Brian who really only watched whatever crap Instant Netflix had to offer, I dug deep into my unwatched library at home. I tried to limit the amount of films I’ve seen before like Creepshow 2, Tales From the Darkside and The Gate but those were the better ones for me.

Most Pleasant Surprise: Tie for Sleepaway Camp and Humanoids From the Deep. Sleepaway Camp was one of those slasher’s that totally looks like it’s going to be utterly cliched and boring but the ending will be forever seared into your memory. Humanoids was a hoot not expected as well.

Most Disappointing: Lady in White. I don’t know what I was expecting with this one. I guess decent ghost story but it was way too long and way too slow and way too dumb and way too lame and way too….

Favorite Villain: Tough call actually. If I could do a three-way tie it would be the Zuni Fetish Warrior doll (Trilogy of Terror), Angela (Sleepaway Camp) and Death Bed (Death Bed).

Heeeeeeeere’s Zuni!

Best Kill: I’m such a sucker for a good head explosion and Deadly Friend had a really good one. The rest of the film sucks eggs.

Worst Kill: Not an easy choice actually. But after looking back, I’d have to go with any of the kills in Death Bed that basically had a close-up of an item slowly dissolving in yellow, piss-like liquid.

No, Shelley Duvall is not in this.

Wish I Could Erase From My Memory: None of the films I watched this year were so bad or had something so gut-wrenching to witness as last year. However, I wasted 2 hours watching Lady in White and then spending nearly 3 hours writing a review for it. So I suppose erasing ever having the inclination to watch it is a good choice.

Brian’s Thoughts

Ah, Schlocktoberfest. I love you but you are exhausting. Since last October ended Brad and I were adamant about watching and writing the majority of these well ahead of time so we wouldn’t have to scramble to do them when Schlocktoberfest II came around. Well, we didn’t do that, and while we did a few beforehand, we kind of ended up feeling the crunch again, although it wasn’t as bad as last year. Why do we put pressure on ourselves, stay up late, write 1,800 words and format screengrabs? Because it’s fun. Even when the movies are bad. Actually, especially when the movies are bad. I just like making people laugh with what I write, so I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you all for reading and your great feedback. Now we’ll work way ahead for next year!

Most Pleasant Surprise: April Fool’s Day – This isn’t the greatest slasher flick in the world but it was a lot of fun to watch. I loved the cast and the premise and the Thomas F. Wilson-ess of it.

Least Pleasant Surprise: The Horror Show – More like The Bore-er Show! I just hated this whole mess. At least with Birdemic I knew full well what I was getting into and despite being one of the worst movies ever made it was fun to watch because of that. The Horror Show just sucks. It steals wholesale from The Nightmare On Elm Street series and ends up not making an ounce of sense and having 97% of the running time spent in the f*cking basement of the protagonist’s house. It’s a bigger turkey than Jenke in full evil turkey form.

Don’t jive me, Jenke turkey.

Most Disappointing Movie: The Sentinel – I was expecting a lot more out of this from clips and trailers I had seen and some good reviews, but other than the last 15 minutes, it really didn’t do much for me. However: Chinballs.

It’s a fate worse than chinballs.

Favorite Villain: The Killer Klowns from Killer Klowns from Outer Space. Runners-up: The Blob (The Blob) and Devery (Fat Albert’s Halloween Special).

Best Kill: Joe Piscopo’s fish tank death in Dead Heat.

Even the fish wanted you dead, Doug.

Worst Kill: Pretty much any death in Birdemic.

Imagine staying inside during a Birdemic. It’s easy if you try.

Least Favorite Character: Hands down Jeff from The Video Dead. Yeah that was last year but I still hate him, and I didn’t really hate any character this year. Maybe Doug from Dead Heat came closest..

Worst Achievement in Special Effects: The transformation scene in Sssssss in a shocking and terrifying upset over every frame of Birdemic.