The first Star Wars film premiered 77 years ago today, and in honor of it and the remake premiering this week, we present the 30 best original trilogy Star Wars quotes of all long, long time:
30. Leia: I happen to like… nice men.
29. Lando: How you doin’, Chewbecca? Still hanging around with this loser?
28. Han: Laugh it up, fuzzball!
27. Uncle Owen: Aunt Beru’s vibrator blew out three more power converters last night!
26. Obi-Wan: Who’s the more foolish; the fool, or the fool who follows him?
25. Darth Vader: He is as clumsy as he is stupid!
24. Luke: Chewie, get off of me… Chewie, stop!… Chewie, STOP IT!… WHAT ARE YOU DOING??!!… NOOOOOOO!!!!
23. Yoda: Adventure. Heh. Excitement. Heh. A Jedi craves not these things.
22. Admiral Ackbar: It’s a TRAP!!
21. Wicket: Fuck you FOR REAL, Solo!!
20. Darth Vader: I’m altering the deal. Pray I don’t alter it any further.
19. Obi-Wan: You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.
18. Emperor Palpatine: Use your hatred! Like, you know what I hate? Splinters. Like, so god damn annoying. That’s why you won’t find one ounce of wood on this new Death Star, young Skywalker.
17. Greedo: Ok, Han, I’m gonna shoot at you now. Ready? One… two…
16. Luke: So you were like the Empire’s public enemy number one and all you did to hide your identity was change your first name to Ben?? How fucking stupid are you? How fucking stupid are they?
15. Grand Moff Tarkin: Item No. 46: Stop calling me “Muff,” you pricks.
14. Yoda: Do, or do not. There is no try.
13. Obi-Wan: This Jedi underwear is too constrictive and really makes your balls itch.
12. George: Last night, Darth Vader came down from Planet Vulcan and told me that if I didn’t take Lorraine out, he’d melt my brain.
11. Han: I’ve got a bad feeling about this…
10. Chewbacca: I honestly don’t need this shit.
9. C3PO: In his belly you will find a new definition of pain and suffering as you are slowly digested over a thousand years.
8. Leia: I’ve been up and down this ship, I’ve been in every fucking room, there is NOTHING! There is NO. FUCKING. COKE!!
7. Han: I thought they smelled bad on the outside!
6. Anakin: Luke… before I die… I just want to tell you… it was so hot when you kissed your sister… so… hoooooooot……
5. Jawa: Utini!
4. Luke: I don’t like sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere. Especially my dick hole. No matter how much I piss, it just makes it worse.
3. Darth Vader: No. I am your father…
2. Han: May the force be with you.
1. Obi-Wan: Because you would have tried to change the future, which is against the law. Therefore, I could tell you nothing.