Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 5-19-2014

Todays Headlines

[BEGIN MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]

HERE IS A BADLY PHOTOSHOPPED POSTER OF ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER AS OLD CONAN IN KING CONAN: THE LEGEND OF CONAN. EXPECT A FOLLOW-UP POSTER OF A NUDE GRACE JONES SHORTLY.

Legend of Conan poster

ALFONSO CUARON, DIRECTOR OF GRAVITY AND THE MOST WATCHABLE HARRY POTTER MOVIE, MAY BE DIRECTING THE FIRST HARRY POTTER SPINOFF: FANTASTIC R.O.T.O.R. AND WHERE TO BE EXECUTED BY R.O.T.O.R.

THE GUY WHO DIRECTED OCULUS IS GOING TO DIRECT GERALD’S GAME, WHICH IS A STEPHEN KING BOOK ABOUT A GUY NAMED GERALD WHO PLAYS SOME SORT OF GAME (R.O.T.O.R. DOES NOT HAVE TIME FOR BOOKS). 

THEY’RE MAKING A MOVIE OUT OF A SCENARIO BRIAN HAS HAD IN HIS HEAD SINCE HE WAS 9 ABOUT THE EARTH LOSING GRAVITY CALLED INVERSION. IF THERE ARE BOOBS AND WALTER PAYTON AND GREMLINS IN IT THEN IT WILL BE THE EXACT SAME THING. 

TODAY’S BIRTHDAYS: THE AFOREMENTIONED SEXIEST WOMAN ALIVE, GRACE JONES, IS 66!

[END MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]

[TODAY’S TRAILER: INTERSTELLAR (A.K.A., MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY CONSTANTLY ON THE VERGE OF TEARS]


9 thoughts on “Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 5-19-2014

  1. Oh wow, they’re making Gerald’s Game into a movie. I was just wondering about that the other day actually. I remember you saying the book was super boring and you din’t finish it.

    Liked by 1 person

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