Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 5-12-2014

Todays Headlines

[BEGIN MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]

THERE IS GOING TO BE ANOTHER ONE DIRECTION MOVIE OH MY GOD YOU GUYS [SUPERSONIC HIGH-PITCHED SQUEALING NOISE THAT SHATTERS EVERY GLASS AND PACEMAKER WITHIN A 50-MILE RADIUS].

IT APPEARS THAT STAR TREK WRITER ROBERTO ORCI WILL INDEED BE THE DIRECTOR OF STAR TREK 3: THE SEARCH FOR A BETTER STORY.

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE 5 HAS HIRED A CALL OF DUTY WRITER TO PEN ITS SCRIPT. TOM CRUISE HAS INSERTED AN XBOX CONTROLLER INTO HIS ANUS TO PUT HIMSELF IN THE PROPER MINDSET.

THE GUY WHO DIRECTED TRICK ‘R TREAT WILL DIRECT A MOVIE ABOUT THE KRAMPUS, WHICH WILL COMPETE WITH THE PIECE OF SHIT KEVIN SMITH VERSION.

HERE IS A PHOTO OF MARK RUFFALO IN HIS R.O.T.O.R. MOCAP FACE.

HERE IS A PHOTO OF MARK RUFFALO IN HIS R.O.T.O.R. MOCAP FACE.

TODAY’S BIRTHDAYS: CHILD STAR CUM PORN STAR SCOTTY SCHWARTZ IS 46! R.O.T.O.R. GOT HIM A HUMAN AS A PRESENT.

[END MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]

[TODAY’S TRAILER: SNOWPIERCER]


6 thoughts on “Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 5-12-2014

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