Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 4-16-2014

Todays Headlines

[BEGIN MOVIE NEWS REBOOT]

FLASH GORDON IS GETTING A REBOOT OF THE 1980 REBOOT. DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!!!

FRIDAY THE 13TH IS GETTING A REBOOT OF THE 2009 REBOOT, BECAUSE NO ONE KNOWS WHO JASON VOORHEES IS.

WILL FERRELL AND JOHN C. REILLY ARE REBOOTING EVERY CHARACTER THEY HAVE EVER DONE IN BORDER GUARDS, BUT THIS ONE IS LOOSELY BASED ON THE TRUE STORY OF R.O.T.O.R.’S BORDER GUARD DAYS. NO ONE, AND R.O.T.O.R. MEANS NO ONE GOT INTO THE UNITED STATES FROM CANADA THAT DECADE.

 SUPERIOR, WHICH IS BASICALLY A REBOOT/RIPOFF OF CAPTAIN MARVEL, IS BEING MADE BY THE KICK-ASS PEOPLE. IN THIS MOVIE, A YOUNG BOY WITH MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS IS GRANTED SUPER POWERS AND DOES BATTLE WITH S.U.P.E.R.I.R.O.T.O.R.

TODAY’S BIRTHDAYS: KAREEM ABDUL-JABBAR, BREAKOUT STAR OF AIRPLANE! IS STILL OUT THERE BUSTING HIS BUNS EVERY NIGHT AT 67!

[END MOVIE NEWS REBOOT]

[TODAY’S VIDEO: GAME OF DEATH]


8 thoughts on “Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 4-16-2014

  1. Can’t they just save us time and money and heartache and make a Jason vs. Flash Gordon movie like we have been pleading for for decades?!

    Like

  2. 1. Flash Gordon… I applaud that there can be a new generation of people who will fall in love with Flash. But good luck, you millenial turds, topping Brian Blessed and a soundtrack by Queen. Seriously? Anyone born in the 21st century is a pussy.

    2. I’ve been hoping Will Ferrell would go away for about 14 years. I feel like the tide of popular opinion has finally swung in my favor.

    3. Superior was a great mini-series. Looking forward to the flick.

    4. In my best Vultan voice… “Kareem’s aliiiiiive?????

    Like

    • 1. Yes, there’s no way they can equal the camp aspect of that and it will just be some stupid, flashy thing with a soundtrack by Taylor Swift.
      2. I bet Ferrell starts doing “dramatic” roles more. Which will be awful.
      3. You should make a handicap parking sign out of Professor X panels.
      4. That sounded EXACTLY like Vultan. Awesome.

      Like

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