Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 3-14-2014

Todays Headlines

 

[BEGIN MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]

THE MARVEL MOVIE THAT REFUSES TO BUDGE AGAINST BATMAN VS. SUPERMAN’S RELEASE DATE IN 2016 IS APPARENTLY CAPTAIN AMERICA 3: THE R.O.T.O.R. SOLDIER.

SPEAKING OF CHARACTERS RIDING THE COATTAILS OF CAPTAIN AMERICA, BLACK WIDOW AND THE WINTER SOLDIER MAY GET THEIR OWN MOVIES, BECAUSE THIS SUPERHERO CASH COW STILL HAS PLENTY OF MILK LEFT TO SQUEEZE OUT OF ITS SUPPLE TEAT.

J.K. SIMMONS, THE MAN WHO WAS J. JONAH JAMESON, HAS SIGNED ON TO THE TERMINATOR REBOOT TO PLAY THE PERFECT PHYSICAL SPECIMEN ON WHOM THE TERMINATOR DESIGN IS BASED.

TODAY’S BIRTHDAYS: MICHAEL CANE IS STILL COUNTING HIS JAWS 4 MONEY AT 81!

[END MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]
[TODAY’S TRAILER: GET ON UP]

 

8 thoughts on “Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 3-14-2014

  1. Good shit man. It’d be nice to see a Black Widow spin-off. . .I really don’t think any male anywhere ever can complain about seeing an entire film franchise devoted to the one and only Scarlett Johannson. . . .

    Like

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