Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 1-27-2014

Todays Headlines

 

[BEGIN MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]

HERE IS THE NEW TRAILER FOR MALEFICENT, WHICH RETELLS THE STORY OF SLEEPING BEAUTY BUT EVEN SEXIER!

HERE IS SOME COOL LOCATION ARTWORK FOR DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES, ALTHOUGH NOT QUITE AS COOL AS THE APE MOVIE POSTER ARTWORK THIS SITE HAS BEEN POOPING OUT.

KEVIN SMITH IS GOING TO TAKE THE AWESOME AURA OF THE KRAMPUS AND MAKE A HORRIBLE KEVIN SMITH MOVIE OUT OF IT. FORTUNATELY, THIS MOVIE PROBABLY WILL NOT GET MADE BECAUSE TUSK WILL BE THE WORST MOVIE IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE AND LOSE $860 MILLION SOMEHOW.

[END MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]
[PRESENT POST-GRAMMYS COVERAGE]

PLEASE DO NOT FORGET TO TURN IN YOUR SUBMISSION TO YOU DUMB KIDS, OR THE KIDS OF YOUR KIDS OF YOUR KIDS WILL TELL TALES OF THE DAY THAT THING HAPPENED TO YOU.

10 thoughts on “Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 1-27-2014

  1. This site’s Ape Movie Poster Artwork is definitely better.

    And that Maleficent trailer looks awesome, except they forgot that Elle Fanning is their real awesomeness and thereby didn’t remember to feature her. 🙂

    Like

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