Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 1-7-2014

Todays Headlines

 

[BEGIN MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]

STEVEN SPEILBERG’S NEXT MOVIE MAY BE MONTEZUMA, IN WHICH AN EPIC STOMACH BUG RIPS THROUGH THE ANUSES OF THOUSANDS OF TOURISTS WHILE ON VACATION IN MEXICO.

DO NOT WORRY, THE PARANORMAL ACTIVITY SERIES WILL END AT SOME POINT. THE SPINOFFS, HOWEVER….

MICHAEL BAY JUST CANNOT HELP BEING AN ENORMOUS DOUCHEBAG.

SHIA LABEOUF JUST CANNOT HELP BEING AN ENORMOUS DICK.

[END MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]
[R.O.T.O.R. FANS ATTEMPTED TO TRIM THE FAT FROM R.O.T.O.R.’S MOVIE, BUT THEY DISCOVERED THAT R.O.T.O.R. IS ALL MUSCLE AND STEEL]

14 thoughts on “Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 1-7-2014

  1. STEVEN SPEILBERG’S NEXT MOVIE MAY BE MONTEZUMA, IN WHICH AN EPIC STOMACH BUG RIPS THROUGH THE ANUSES OF THOUSANDS OF TOURISTS WHILE ON VACATION IN MEXICO.

    I’d take a day off to see that!

    Like

  2. I have seen three movies at the theatre in the last 2 months: Bad Grandpa, Anchorman 2, and The Wolf of Wall Street and I have had to sit through that stupid fucking trailer for The Marked Ones in all three freaking movies!!! I am getting so sick and tired of having to watch that trailer, and why are they showing that trailer at the screening of comedies?!?! Everyone knows you’re supposed to show comedy trailers at comedy movies. GAH!! Rage time!!!!

    Like

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