Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 12-3-2013

Todays Headlines

[BEGIN MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]

ACCORDING TO A CLOSER LOOK AT THAT POSTER, DANE DEHAAN WILL BE APPEARING AS SOME KIND OF GOBLIN IN THE AMAZING IRVING SPIDERMAN 2, WHICH EVERYONE ALREADY KNEW. THAT BRINGS THE MOVIE’S VILLAIN TOTAL TO 43 IN A DESPERATE ATTEMPT TO PREVENT PEOPLE FROM DOZING OFF LIKE THEY DID DURING THE LAST ONE. EVEN R.O.T.O.R. FELL ASLEEP, AND R.O.T.O.R. IS A GOD DAMN ROBOT.

THERE ARE TWO VINCE LOMBARDI PICTURES IN PRODUCTION. ONE OF R.O.T.O.R.’S FONDEST EXECUTION MEMORIES IS WHEN R.O.T.O.R. EXECUTED VINCE LOMBARDI FOR ILLEGAL HAT WEARING BY SCREAMING, “GO BEARS!!” UNTIL HIS HEAD EXPLODED.

J.J. ABRAMS HAS KIND OF ADMITTED THAT HIS DUMB MYSTERY APPROACH TO HIS MOVIES IS DUMB, SPECIFICALLY REGARDING KHAN IN STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS. EVEN SO, R.O.T.O.R. STILL HAS NOT PICKED UP ANYTHING ON SENSOR RECALL ABOUT THE PLOT OF THE NEXT STAR WARS.

SHOWS BASED ON SIN CITY, THE MIST AND SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK MAY BE COMING TO A TV NEAR YOUR ROOM WHERE YOU WATCH TV. R.O.T.O.R. GETS ALL CHANNELS AT ONCE. EVEN PLAYBOY.

[END MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]
[PRESENT AMAZING EDDIE VAN HALEN GUITAR SOLO]

14 thoughts on “Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 12-3-2013

  1. I watched Kicking & Screaming this weekend and it occurred to me that Mike Ditka should be in more movies. Maybe Ditka could play Lombardi playing Ditka in a movie. That would be a treat!

    Like

  2. Remember when we use to spend hours trying to unscramble the Playboy channel to look at kzzacccky boobs? Those were the days.

    P.S. I hope your clit falls off.

    Like

  3. Ya, know I cant beleive the idiot that spends all of his time overdubbing guitar solo videos. There are tons of them – it was slightly humorous the first time, maybe. Doesn’t this guy have anything better to do with his life?

    Like

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