Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 11-21-2013

Todays Headlines

 

[BEGIN MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO LIKED THE MOTION PICTURE GRAVITY (IN WHICH R.O.T.O.R. MADE A CAMEO AS THE SOYUZ COMPUTER) YOU CAN NOW WATCH THE SHORT FILM ABOUT ANINGAAQ, THE INUIT FELLOW DR. STONE TALKED TO.

SOME DOMAINS WERE RECENTLY REGISTERED THAT COULD HINT AT THE ACTUAL NAME FOR BATMAN VS. SUPERMAN, AND THEY ARE ALL TERRIBLE. “MAN OF STEEL YOU MUST KICK YOURSELF IN THE SCROTUM BEFORE YOU CAN BUY A TICKET” WOULD BE A MORE APPEALING TITLE THAN ANY OF THESE. OF COURSE, “MAN OF STEEL 2: REIGN OF R.O.T.O.R.” REMAINS THE BEST NAME POSSIBLE.

DIE HARD 6 IS HAPPENING AND WILL BE SET IN TOKYO, WITH SAMUEL L. JACKSON RETURNING BECAUSE HE WILL LITERALLY BE IN ANYTHING. IF YOU WATCH THE MOVIE R.O.T.O.R. CAREFULLY YOU WILL SEE HIM IN THE BACKGROUND DURING THE SCENE IN WHICH R.O.T.O.R. FRIES THAT BUCK-TOOTHED GUY’S FACE OFF.

APARAMOUNTLY PARAMOUNT IS GOING TO C-BLOCK THAT IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE SEQUEL. IN THE SEQUEL, R.O.T.O.R. COMPLETELY DESTROYS THE TOWN OF BEDFORD FALLS FOR ILLEGAL INTER-DIMENSIONAL TRAVEL. R.O.T.O.R. WILL BE VISITING THE PARAMOUNT OFFICES TODAY AND THIS WILL ALL BE STRAIGHTENED OUT…

OMG YOU GUYS, IT IS THE CAST OF ENTOURAGE REUINITED!! IF ANY OF YOU OUT THERE GIVE EVEN HALF A RAT’S FAT PUBIC HAIR ABOUT THIS MOVIE PLEASE TURN YOURSELF INTO R.O.T.O.R. IT WILL BE QUICKER FOR YOU THAT WAY.

[END MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]
[PRESENT R.O.T.O.R.’S FAVORITE SONG]

7 thoughts on “Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 11-21-2013

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