Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 11-7-2013

Todays Headlines

 

[BEGIN MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]

BLOCKBUSTER VIDEO IS OFFICIALLY DEAD. R.O.T.O.R. DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE. THEIR LATE FEES BROKE A NUMBER OF ETHICAL BUSINESS LAWS.

HERE IS THE SYNOPSIS OF THE POINT BREAK REMAKE, WHICH HAS ONLY BEEN UNOFFICIALLY REMADE THREE DOZEN TIMES. THE STORY CENTERS ON A ROBOT POLICE OFFICER WHO INFILTRATES A GANG OF THRILL-SEEKING BANK ROBBERS AND SHOOTS THEM ALL IN THE FACE WHILE THEY ARE SKYDIVING.

FROM DUSK TILL DAWN IS BEING MADE INTO A TV SERIES, WITH CHILDREN CAST IN THE LEAD ROLES. THIS KIND OF NONSENSE IS WHY GOOD MEN LIKE SAM ELLIOTT CANNOT FIND WORK ANYMORE.

RUMOR HAS IT THAT JASON SCHWARTZMAN WILL BE A PART OF THE CAST OF THE BIGGEST MOVIE OF SUMMER 2015.

HERE IS THE FIRST TRAILER FOR THE RAID 2: BERANDAL. AS YOU WILL RECALL, THE FIRST MOVIE WAS BASED ON THE TIME R.O.T.O.R. EXECUTED EVERYONE IN AN APARTMENT BUILDING TO GET TO THE LANDLORD AT THE TOP WHO HAD UNPAID PARKING TICKETS.

 

[END MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]
[PRESENT “LOST” TRAILER FOR HALLOWEEN III: HARVEST OF SOULS, WHICH JUDGING BY THE YOUTUBE COMMENTS SECTION, SOME PEOPLE ACTUALLY THINK IS REAL, EVEN THOUGH IT IS ADMITTEDLY FAKE AND COULD NOT LOOK MORE FAKE IF IT WAS MADE OF CARDBOARD AND YARN. THIS IS WHY R.O.T.O.R. HAS NO HOPE FOR YOU HUMANS.]

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