Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! Independence Day 2013

Todays Headlines

[BEGIN FREEDOM TRANSMISSION]

THE ONLY HEADLINE TODAY IS THAT R.O.T.O.R. ORDERS YOU TO OBEY ALL FIREWORKS LAWS AND HAVE A SAFE AND HAPPY 4TH OF JULY OR YOU WILL BE ARRESTED AND CHARGED WITH NUMEROUS CRIMES UNDER AMERICA’S OUTSTANDING SYSTEM OF LAW.

[END FREEDOM TRANSMISSION]
[BEGIN FIREWORKS SAFETY SEQUENCE]

AND NOW AN IMPORTANT FIREWORKS SAFETY PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT FROM R.O.T.O.R., IN DISGUISE HERE AS THE PREVENTOR, BECAUSE R.O.T.O.R. FRIGHTENS CHILDREN. VIEWING IS MANDATORY BY LAW.

[END FIREWORKS SAFETY SEQUENCE]

[BEGIN FIREWORKS SAFETY PATROL: SEARCH AND DESTROY]

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