Zoolander 2 (2016)
New on home video today is Zoolander 2 which continues the story of a man named Alex who goes skydiving one day and his parachute won’t open and he’s blown way off course by a freak typhoon and lands 157 miles away directly into a giant pile of hippopotamus shit at the San Diego Zoo which saves his life and some kid catches the whole thing on video and uploads it to YouTube and it becomes one of those viral hits and he earns the nickname Zoolander and that’s how the first movie ends on a cliffhanger whether Alex lives or dies but obviously he lives and Alex loves the attention so he decides to do it again on purpose this time and not even bothering with the parachute and lands right in the biggest stack of camel shit you’ve ever seen in your life at the Philadelphia Zoo and tons of people and some news outlets record it and he gets even more famous and he gets corporate sponsors like Pepsi and Target and all the zoos want him to land in a pile of shit at their zoo and this goes on and on until one day he’s in free fall over Lincoln Park Zoo zeroing in on just a massive pile of orangutan shit when one of the orangutans decides to eat the shit and everyone panics and the zookeepers try shooting it with tranquilizer darts to get him to stop but they have no effect and Alex is seconds away from impact and the screen goes black and the movie ends and this Zoolander series is really notorious for its horrible cliffhangers.
How to Be Single (2016)
New on home video today is How to Be Single which tells the story of well I guess there’s no story it’s just a mirror where the screen should be.
I’d buy that for a dollar!