The Super Bowl Shuffle (1985)

Ok, so this isn’t actually a movie if you want to get all technical about it (although The Fridge had a cameo in Windy City Heat), but today marks the 30th anniversary of the greatest rap song ever recorded by a professional football team: “The Super Bowl Shuffle” by the 1985 Chicago Bears. You see, kids, the ’85 Bears were the most lovable team of winners ever assembled in the NFL, achieving the kind of positive notoriety that’s rare these days (they didn’t want to start no trouble, you see). I was 8 when this came out and I ate it up. Sweetness, “Punky QB” Jim McMahon, The Fridge, Mama’s Boy Otis, Samurai Mike Singletary, Sack Man Dent, uh, Steve Fuller, were not only our sports heroes, they were fun as hell, and with the release of this rap, the world now knew it, as well. The best part is that the song was recorded just after the regular season (in which the Bears went 15-1, fuckin’ Dolphins) and before the playoffs, so there was no guarantee that Chicago was going to even be in the Super Bowl. But be in it they did, trouncing the Patriots 46-10 (the only points any team scored on them in the playoffs)… and they haven’t won since, but, we’ll always have this:

To really get the full effect, you simply must watch the Monsters of the Midway lip-sync and awkwardly dance to it. For some reason, the video has disappeared from YouTube, but you can watch it on a less-funny site than the one you’re currently reading by clicking here.

Chorus
We are the Bears Shufflin’ Crew
Shufflin’ on down, doin’ it for you.
We’re so bad we know we’re good.
Blowin’ your mind like we knew we would.
You know we’re just struttin’ for fun
Struttin’ our stuff for everyone.
We’re not here to start no trouble.
We’re just here to do the Super Bowl Shuffle.

Walter Payton
Well, they call me Sweetness,
And I like to dance.
Runnin’ the ball is like makin’ romance.
We’ve had the goal since training camp
To give Chicago a Super Bowl Champ.
And we’re not doin’ this
Because we’re greedy.
The Bears are doin’ it to feed the needy.
We didn’t come here to look for trouble,
We just came here to do
The Super Bowl Shuffle.

Willie Gault
This is Speedy Willie, and I’m world class.
I like runnin’ but i love to get the pass.
I practice all day and dance all night,
I got to get ready for the Sunday fight.
Now I’m as smooth as a chocolate swirl,
I dance a little funky, so watch me girl.
There’s not one here that does it like me,
My Super Bowl Shuffle will set you free.

Mike Singletary
I’m Samurai Mike I stop’em cold.
Part of the defense, big and bold,
I’ve been jammin’ for quite a while,
Doin’ what’s right and settin’ the style,
Give me a chance, I’ll rock you good,
Nobody messin’ in my neighborhood.
I didn’t come here lookin’ for trouble,
I just came to do The Super Bowl Shuffle

(Repeat Chorus)

Jim McMahon
I’m the punky QB, known as McMahon.
When I hit the turf, I’ve got no plan.
I just throw my body all over the field.
I can’t dance, but I can throw the pill.
I motivate the cats, I like to tease.
I play so cool, I aim to please.
That’s why you all got here on the double
To catch me doin’ the Super Bowl Shuffle.

Otis Wilson
I’m mama’s boy Otis, one of a kind.
The ladies all love me
For my body and my mind.
I’m slick on the floor as I can be
But ain’t no sucker gonna get past me.
Some guys are jealous
Of my style and class,
That’s why some end up on their -,
I didn’t come here lookin’ for trouble,
I just get down to The Super Bowl Shuffle.

Steve Fuller
They say Jimbo is our man.
If Jimmy can’t do it, I sure can.
This is Steve, and it’s no wonder
I run like lightnin’, pass like thunder.
So bring on Atlanta, bring on Dallas,
This is for Mike and Papa Bear Halas.
I’m not here to feather his ruffle,
I just came here to do
The Super Bowl Shuffle.

Mike Richardson
I’m L.A. Mike, and I play it cool.
They don’t sneak by me ’cause I’m no fool.
I fly on the field and get on down.
Everybody knows I don’t mess around.
I can break’em, shake’em,
Any time of day.
I like to steal it and make ’em pay,
So please don’t cry to beat my hustle
‘Cause I’m just here to do
The Super Bowl Shuffle.

(Repeat Chorus)

Richard Dent
The sackman’s comin’, I’m your man Dent.
if the quarterback’s slow,
He’s gonna get bent.
We stop the run, we stop the pass,
I like to dump guys on their -.
We love to play for the world’s best fans,
You better start makin’
Your Super Bowl plans.
But don’t get ready or go to any trouble
Unless you practice
The Super Bowl Shuffle.

Gary Fencik
It’s Gary here, and I’m Mr.Clean.
They call me “hit man,”
Don’t know what they mean.
They throw it long and watch me run,
I’m on my man, one-on-one.
Buddy’s guys cover it down to the bone,
That’s why they call us the 46 zone.
Come on everybody let’s scream and yell,
We’re goin’ to do the Shuffle,
Then ring your bell.

William Perry
You’re lookin’ at the Fridge,
I’m the rookie.
I may be large, but I’m no dumb cookie.
You’ve seen me hit, you’ve seen me run,
When I kick and pass, we’ll have more fun.
I can dance, you will see
The others, they all learn from me.
I don’t come here lookin’ for trouble,
I just came here to do
The Super Bowl Shuffle.

(Repeat Chorus)

Since “The Super Bowl Shuffle” was so amazing, other NFL teams and even teams in other sports tried to recapture the magic with their own music videos, but of course they were all lame and failed miserably. Except for one…