Mirth Madness 2014: Opening Round – Group 4

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Joanna Stayton (78%)
 said “OrgazNO!” to Joe Young (22%)!

Frank “The Tank” (61%) schooled Dewey Finn (39%) with a rock!
Buddy Love (58%) regurgitated Pig Vomit (42%)!
Leo Bloom (58%) used a lethal weapon on Leo Getz (42%)!
Jerry (53%) put Albert Goldman (47%) in a cage meant for birds!
Larry Wilson (74%) took a swing at Trent Walker (26%)!
Uncle Buck (53%) made a man out of Mr. Mom (47%)!
Axel Foley (84%) burned Frank Washington (16%), man! He burned ’em!


And don’t forget to vote in Group 3 or Voting Enforcer R.O.T.O.R. will find you!



(Disney’s Aladdin)
Jeanie Bueller
(Ferris Bueller’s Day Off)
Quote: “Three wishes, to be exact. And ixnay on the wishing for more wishes. That’s all. Three. Uno, dos, tres. No substitutions, exchanges, or refunds.” Quote: “‘There is an intruder – male, Caucasian, possibly armed, certainly weird – in my kitchen… M-my-my-my name is Bueller…Look, it’s real nice that you hope my brother is feeling better, but I’m in danger, okay? I am very cute, very alone and very protective of my body. I don’t want it violated or killed, all right? I need help! Speaka de English? DICKHEAD!”


David St. Hubbins
(This Is Spinal Tap)
Wednesday Addams
(The Addams Family Franchise)
Quote: “I do not, for one, think that the problem was that the band was down. I think that the problem *may* have been, that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being *crushed* by a *dwarf*. Alright? That tended to understate the hugeness of the object.” Quote: “I’m a homicidal maniac, they look just like everyone else.”


5. White Goodman
(Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story)
12. Mrs. White
Quote: “Here at Globo Gym we understand that “ugliness” and “fatness” are genetic disorders, much like baldness or necrophilia, and it’s only your fault if you don’t hate yourself enough to do something about it.” Quote: “Yes. Yes, I did it. I killed Yvette. I hated her, so much…it-it- the f – it -flam – flames. Flames, on the side of my face, breathing-breathl- heaving breaths. Heaving breaths… Heathing…”


4. Sheriff Bart
(Blazing Saddles)
13. Captain Jack Sparrow
(Pirates of the Caribbean Franchise)
Quote: “Excuse me while I whip this out.” Quote: “She’s safe, just like I promised. She’s all set to marry Norrington, just like she promised. And you get to die for her, just like you promised. So we’re all men of our word really… except for, of course, Elizabeth, who is in fact, a woman.”


6. Gary Johnston
(Team America: World Police)
11. Saddam Hussein
(South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut)
Quote: “We’re dicks! We’re reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Pussies don’t like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes: assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they fuck too much or fuck when it isn’t appropriate – and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves… because pussies are an inch and half away from ass holes. I don’t know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don’t let us fuck this asshole, we’re going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit!” Quote: “Hey Satan, I got some new luggage for our trip up to Earth. Let’s fuck to celebrate.”


3. Phil Connors
(Groundhog Day)
14. Mona Lisa Vito
(My Cousin Vinny)
Quote: “This is pitiful. A thousand people freezing their butts off waiting to worship a rat. What a hype. Groundhog Day used to mean something in this town. They used to pull the hog out, and they used to eat it. You’re hypocrites, all of you!” Quote: “Imagine you’re a deer. You’re prancing along, you get thirsty, you spot a little brook, you put your little deer lips down to the cool clear water… BAM! A fuckin bullet rips off part of your head! Your brains are laying on the ground in little bloody pieces! Now I ask ya. Would you give a fuck what kind of pants the son of a bitch who shot you was wearing?”


7. Meg Swan
(Best In Show)
10. Milton Waddams
(Office Space)
Quote: “We met at Starbucks. Not at the same Starbucks but we saw each other at different Starbucks across the street from each other.” Quote: “And I said, I don’t care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I’m, I’m quitting, I’m going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they’ve moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn’t bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it’s not okay because if they take my stapler then I’ll set the building on fire…”


2. Nick Rivers
(Top Secret)
15. Johnny
Quote: “Listen to me, Hillary. I’m not the first guy who fell in love with a woman that he met at a restaurant who turned out to be the daughter of a kidnapped scientist, only to lose her to her childhood lover who she last saw on a deserted island, who then turned out fifteen years later to be the leader of the French underground.” Quote: “And Leon is getting laaaaarrrrrger.”

4 thoughts on “Mirth Madness 2014: Opening Round – Group 4

  1. Pingback: Mirth Madness: Group 3 Results!! | Hard Ticket to Home Video

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