R.O.T.O.R.’S R.O.U.N.D.U.P. 6-6-2014

ROTORs-roundup

HOWDY, AND WELCOME TO R.O.T.O.R.’S R.O.U.N.D.U.P., PARDNERS, WHERE YOU WILL RECEIVE THE MOST INTERESTING MOVIE NEWS OF THE WEEK ACCORDING TO R.O.T.O.R.’S COMPLEX CALCULATIONS, PLUS SWIFT TEXAS-STYLE ROBOT JUSTICE.

ON THE STAR WARS FRONT, TMZ LEAKED LOTS OF PICTURES FROM THE TATOOINE SET AND THE MILLENNIUM FALCON BEING BUILT, LUPITA NYONG’O AND BRIENNE OF TARTH JOINED THE CAST, JAMES EARL JONES WILL NOT BE INVOLVED BECAUSE DARTH VADER IS AS DEAD AS A TEXAS LOITERER, AND JOSH TRANK, DIRECTOR OF CHRONICLE, WILL BE DIRECTING THE SECOND OF THE SPIN-OFFS, WHICH R.O.T.O.R.’S SOURCES SAY IS A JAWA ROMANTIC COMEDY.

JARED LETO COULD BE GETTING SOME STRANGE—DOCTOR STRANGE, THAT IS!

THE DIRECTOR OF THE STAND FILM VERSION SAYS IT WILL BE ONE 3-HOUR MOVIE, WHICH SHOULD GIVE 32 SECONDS OF SCREENTIME FOR EVERY CHARACTER. STILL UNCONFIRMED: R.O.T.O.R. FLAGG.

 JOSH BROLIN WILL PROVIDE THE VOICE OF THANOS FOR GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY AND THE AVENGERS: AGE OF R.O.T.O.R. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DO NOT REMEMBER, THANOS IS THE PURPLE GUY WHO LOOKED LIKE A PURPLE CG TURD IN A STINGER IN THE AVENGERS.

THEY ARE GOING TO MAKE A BRUCE LEE MOVIE THAT IS NOT SO HOKEY AND NOT MOSTLY ABOUT DEMON CURSES. OUT OF ALL THE CELEBRITIES R.O.T.O.R. HAS ASSASSINATED OVER THE YEARS, R.O.T.O.R. RESPECTED BRUCE LEE THE MOST.

UP NEXT IN THE DISNEY CARTOON LIVE ACTION REMAKES: BEAUTY AND THE BEAST, WITH R.O.T.O.R. PLAYING BOTH ROLES, COMPLETE WITH GRAPHIC SEX SCENE.

SPEAKING OF BEAUTIES, CHECK OUT THESE TWO WONDERFUL POSTERS THAT WERE UNVEILED THIS WEEK, ONE FEATURING SIGNIFICANTLY LESS HAIR THAN THE OTHER:
sin-city-eva-green-banned-poster

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes poster

THIS WEEK’S IMPORTANT BIRTHDAYS: STACY KEACH (73), ROBERT Z’DAR (64), KEITH DAVID (58), JEFF GARLIN (52), AND ROBERT ENGLUND (67)!

TRAILERS OF THE WEEK:

QUESTION OF THE WEEK:

 

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