Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 5-13-2014

Todays Headlines

[BEGIN MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]

H.R. GIGER IS DEAD. R.O.T.O.R. NOT RESPONSIBLE.

ZACK SNYDER TEASED THE NEW BATMOBILE ON TWITTER WITH THE PICTURE BELOW. IT LOOKS MUCH LIKE THE FORD FIESTA PATROL CAR THAT R.O.T.O.R. DRIVES.
Snyder-Batmobile

THERE IS GOING TO BE A KICKBOXER REMAKE WITH GEORGES ST. PIERRE, WHO IS A NO GOOD FIGHTER AND HIS MOTHER HAS SEX WITH MULES.

MICHAEL GIACCHINO, WHO IS DAMN NEAR AS GOOD AS JOHN WILLIAMS, WILL TAKE OVER FOR WILLIAMS AND SCORE JURASSIC WORLD, OFFICIALLY MAKING IT THE GREATEST MOVIE EVER MADE ASIDE FROM THE OTHER JURASSIC PARK MOVIES.

THE GUY WHO PLAYED WEDGE IN STAR WARS DECADES AGO HAS TURNED DOWN A CHANCE TO APPEAR IN THE NEW FILM AND KIND OF SOUNDS LIKE AN OLD ASSHOLE.

ELSA FROM FROZEN WILL NOW BE ON THE LAME TV SHOW ONCE UPON A TIME. R.O.T.O.R. HAD A WITTY COMMENT ABOUT THIS, BUT HAS DECIDED TO LET IT GO.

TODAY’S BIRTHDAYS: HARVEY KEITEL IS STILL FLAPPING HIS WIENER AROUND WHENEVER HE CAN AT 75!

[END MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]

[TODAY’S TRAILER: BAD LIEUTENANT]


7 thoughts on “Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 5-13-2014

  1. Whoa! What a minute. So they asked Denis Lawson who played Wedge for 5 minutes total in all three OT Star Wars movies but they haven’t yet talked to Billy Dee? Somethings really wrong here.

    Like

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