Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 4-8-2014

Todays Headlines

IF YOU HAVE NOT VOTED FOR THE VILLAIN MADNESS CHAMPION YET WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU HAMBRAIN TODAY IS THE LAST DAY.

[BEGIN MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]

THE CABIN IN THE WOODS DIRECTOR WILL DIRECT THE SINISTER SIX SPINOFF, STARRING THAT SHAGGY-LOOKING STONER GUY AS KRAVEN THE HUNTER.

PETER MAYHEW WILL RETURN TO STAR WARS AS CHEWBACCA, ALONGSIDE FRED “THE HAMMER” WILLIAMSON AS CHEWBLACKA.

THE DIRECTOR OF THE CRAZIES REMAKE IS GOING TO DIRECT KARATE KID 2, IN WHICH JACKIE CHAN WILL KICK A PITCHFORK INTO JADEN SMITH’S FACE.

REMEMBER THAT JUSTICE LEAGUE MOVIE THAT ALMOST GOT MADE A FEW YEARS AGO? HERE IS A PICTURE OF THE CAST ALL TOGETHER LOOKING HAPPY AND DRUNK AND NOT KNOWING THAT R.O.T.O.R. WILL SOON FOIL THEIR PLANS HA HA HA HA HA.

HERE YOU CAN SEE JUST HOW COMPLETELY DOUCHEY QUICKSILVER LOOKS IN MOTION. WORST COSTUME DESIGN EVER BY R.O.T.O.R.’S COMPLEX COMMODORE 64 CALCULATIONS.

TODAY’S BIRTHDAYS: DRINK A TOAST TO TIM THOMERSON’S 68TH BIRTHDAY OUT OF A BROKEN BEER BOTTLE AND WIPE YOUR BLOODY MOUTH WITH A CAT!

[END MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]

[TODAY’S TRAILER: CHEF]


9 thoughts on “Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 4-8-2014

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