Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 3-7-2014

Todays Headlines

 

[BEGIN MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]

SAM RAIMI WILL PRODUCE A MOVIE BASED ON THE POPULAR PLAYSTATION 3 VIDEO-GAME THE LAST OF US, WHICH R.O.T.O.R. HAS NOT PLAYED BECAUSE R.O.T.O.R. RUNS ON ATARI 2600 COMPONENTS.

THE KING CONAN MOVIE IS STILL COMING, PLODDING ALONG LIKE JAMES EARL JONES AFTER EATING TOO MUCH TAFFY. BUT IT IS BEING WRITTEN BY A BROAD, WHICH R.O.T.O.R. FINDS DISTURBING.

IRIS BALBOA HAS THE EYE OF THE TIGER IN ONE OF THE NEW JUNGLE BOOK MOVIES.

THEY ARE REBOOTING ZORRO WITH… WAIT FOR IT… GRITTY DARK KNIGHT-ESQUE REALISM!!! THAT IS NOT GETTING OLD WHATSOEVER BY R.O.T.O.R.’S ADVANCED ATARI 2600 CALCULATIONS!

TODAY’S BIRTHDAYS: RIK MAYALL HAS NOT DROPPED DEAD AT 56! ALSO, DONG-GUN JANG IS 42!

[END MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]
[TODAY’S TRAILER: SIN CITY: A DAME FOR R.O.T.O.R. TO EXECUTE]

 

13 thoughts on “Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 3-7-2014

  1. So both John Carter & Lone Ranger flop badly and they expect both Zorro and Tarzan to do well? Morons.

    Time to bring back Allan Quartermain!

    Like

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