Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 2-6-2014

Todays Headlines

 

[BEGIN MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]

EVANGELINE LILLY MAY PLAY THE FEMALE LEAD IN ANT-MAN. HOPEFULLY ANT-MAN DOES NOT GROW SO SMALL HE GETS LOST! GET IT??! COME SEE R.O.T.O.R. AT THE LAFF RAFT IN MIAMI THIS SUNDAY NIGHT!

TOM CRUISE AND PARAMOUNT ARE BEING SUED FOR $1 BILLION FOR ALLEGEDLY STEALING THE PLOT OF MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE—GHOST ROTORCOL FROM SOME DUDE’S SCREENPLAY.

JOAQUIN PHOENIX AND THAT WEIRD-LOOKING GUY FROM GIRLS WERE ALSO UP FOR THE ROLE OF LEX LUTHOR, BUT JESSE EISENBERG MUST HAVE REALLY WON THEM OVER WITH HIS CHARMING AND INFECTIOUS PERSONALITY.

TODAY’S BIRTHDAYS: ZSA ZSA GABOR IS STILL ALIVE AND 97.

WAIT, IS THE NEW DOCTOR DOOM GOING TO BE A BROAD????!!! [OVERHEAT SHUTDOWN]

[END MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]
[TODAY’S TRAILER: HAMLET]

 

8 thoughts on “Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 2-6-2014

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