Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 1-24-2014

Todays Headlines

 

[BEGIN MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]

R.O.T.O.R. AS BEN AFFLECK AS BATMAN MAY BE WEARING TWO SUITS IN THE UPCOMING MOVIE: A GRAY AND BLUE ONE AND AN ARMORED ONE, WITH EXTRA PROTECTION FOR R.O.T.O.R’S ENORMOUS DONG, WHICH R.O.T.O.R. REPORTED ON YESTERDAY.

ROBERT ZEMECKIS IS GOING TO MAKE A 3D MOVIE OUT OF ONE OF THE GREATEST DOCUMENTARIES EVER THAT ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT NEED A MOVIE MADE ABOUT IT BECAUSE THE DOCUMENTARY CONTAINED RECREATED FOOTAGE FOR CHRIST’S SAKE WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

NICK FURY’S TIME IS RUNNING SHORT. R.O.T.O.R. WILL BE TAKING OVER AS DIRECTOR OF S.H.I.E.L.D. AND RENAMING IT R.O.T.O.R.: GUARDIAN OF NONE, EXECUTIONER OF ALL. EXCELLENT DENTAL BENEFITS.

[END MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]
[NEVER FORGET: R.O.T.O.R. IS ALWAYS WATCHING YOU]

PLEASE DO NOT FORGET TO TURN IN YOUR SUBMISSION TO YOU DUMB KIDS, OR YOU MAY OR MAY NOT BE HUNTED DOWN BUT YOU WILL BE.

5 thoughts on “Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 1-24-2014

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