Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 11-6-2013

Todays Headlines

 

[BEGIN MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]

AFTER YESTERDAY’S LAKE PLACID VS. ANACONDA ANNOUNCEMENT TURD BOMB, R.O.T.O.R. HAS NOW RECEIVED WORD THAT A BIGFOOT VS. WEREWOLVES MOVIE WILL BE MADE, WHICH SOUNDS WONDERFUL, UNTIL YOU COMPUTE IT IS BEING MADE BY PEOPLE WHO WERE BEHIND TWILIGHT. MAYBE BIGFOOT WILL SPARKLE AND HAVE AN UGLY MUTANT BABY.

DO YOU WANT TO SEE SOME MORE STAR WARS CASTING RUMORS? NO? OK.

COULD AUDIENCES VIEW A PICTURE INVOLVING ALL THE MARVEL HEROES, AS THEY ATTEMPT TO TAKE DOWN R.O.T.O.R. AND FAIL EMBARRASSINGLY TO THE POINT WHERE THEY ALL MAKE A SUICIDE PACT BECAUSE THEY CANNOT LIVE WITH THE SHAME OF HOW BADLY THEY WERE DEFEATED?

JON FAVREAU TO DIRECT A NEW LIVE-ACTION THE JUNGLE BOOK, IN WHICH A BOY IS RAISED BY ANIMALS AND ARRESTED BY R.O.T.O.R. FOR PUBLIC INDECENCY.

THERE IS GOING TO BE ANOTHER SAW MOVIE, BECAUSE TEENAGERS ARE INCREDIBLY STUPID.

 

[END MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]
[YOU WILL NEVER BE SAFE]

12 thoughts on “Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 11-6-2013

  1. More movies should be made about Bigfoot. But not lame ass love stories. A cool one where radiation makes him 100 feet tall and he stomps all over a town crushing people under his admittedly big feet.

    Like

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