Schlocktoberfest: Recap of Horror!

Another spooktacular year of our First Annual Schlocktoberfest is in the books, and we’re filled with relief, shame, fright, and malaise. Looking back, ignoring our families and staying up late to write reviews of movies like Frogs and Chopping Mall were totally worth it to entertain our legions of faithful readers. Let’s review, shall we?

In order from best to worst score:

Halloween (10)
An American Werewolf In London (10)
Friday the 13th Part II (9)
Poltergeist II: The Other Side (9)
The Burning (8.5)
Maniac (8)
Friday the 13th Part VI (8)
Pieces (8)
Coven (8)
Night of the Lepus (8)
The Company of Wolves (8)
Night of the Comet (7.5)
Crawlspace (7.5)
Waxwork (7)
Don’t Answer the Phone (7)
Basket Case (7)
Frogs (7)
Don’t Go In the House (7)
Dark Night of the Scarecrow (6.5)
Chopping Mall (6.5)
Prophecy (6)
Phantasm II (5.5)
Visiting Hours (5)
Curtains (5)
House (4)
Day of the Animals (4)
The Toolbox Murders (4)
Burial Ground: The Nights of Terror (3)
House II (3)
Cat’s Eye (2)
The Video Dead (1.5)
The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1.5)
Ghoulies (1)

Although Brad had a higher amount of reviews overall, it seems that Brian went through more suffering, having watched the bottom three movies on the list.

Since this was our first time doing this and since we just started this site a month ago, it’s interesting to see how we started very small and simple with the Night of the Comet and Dark Night of the Scarecrow reviews, and toward the end we were doing 2,000-word recaps with multiple screencaps and videos to help enhance what we were talking about. All of these movies (save An American Werewolf In London and Halloween) we either hadn’t seen before or hadn’t seen in several years and pretty much forgot what they were about.

Brian’s Thoughts

This was fun but harder than I thought it would be. I wrote as I watched then formatted and search for images and videos, which was a lot harder for some of these movies than others. I usually did this all the night the reviews needed to be published, so it took up entire evenings, and for that I’d like to apologize to my wife (although I think she quite enjoyed Basket Case and Maniac).

Most Pleasant Surprise: The Burning – I’d honestly never even heard of this movie before I saw it pop up on Netflix Instant and decided to give it a try. It was a really good, gory slasher movie with an awesome cast that’s on par with the best Friday the 13th films.

Least Pleasant Surprise: Ghoulies – Like I said in the review, I confused the sequel with this movie, thinking that the sequel was the original and I was going to be watching that one, but instead I got this abomination, that isn’t entertaining on any level. It’s just plain awful, doesn’t make any sense, doesn’t have a likable character, barely does anything with its titular creatures, has no gore, no boobs, and no reason to exist.

Most Disappointing Movie: Phantasm II – I liked the original Phantasm a lot, so I figured this would be that plus more action and four times as many shotgun barrels, but it really fell flat.

Favorite Villain: Frank Zito from Maniac. Runners-up: Dr. Karl Gunther, Belial, Cropsey

A face only a mother could lock in the closet.

Best Kill: The raft scene from The Burning.

Worst Kill: When Belial rapes and murders his brother’s girlfriend in Basket Case. Really just vile. Not much truly sickens me in movies, but this is up there.

Least Favorite Character: Hands down Jeff from The Video Dead. A chainsaw to the gut was way too kind for him.

I’m Sorry, Brad: For suggesting that House and House II would make an awesome double feature.

Brad’s Thoughts

I totally agree with my associate here that this was fun yet very tough to get in a month’s worth of horror flicks and then write a lengthy review. Some were easy and enjoyable to watch and review while others were absolute torture. My method was a little easier than Brian’s as I used my trusty iPad to watch these movies while my wife slept next to me in bed. Usually the next day I would write the review. Using the iPad to watch movies is good in that I can use Instant Netflix to find some of these titles or rip and copy some films to the movie viewer. I can watch comfortably in bed with the earbuds and hope I don’t fall asleep or laugh outloud and disturb the wife.

There were a slew of other films I watched this month that I didn’t write about because of numerous reasons but mostly because they wouldn’t have been interesting enough to mention. Some were so boring and dumb I didn’t want to waste more of my time than I already did. Here’s a quick sample of some of those titles: Galaxy of Terror, Two-Thousand Maniacs, Evilspeak, Piranha, The Incredible Melting Man, Hell Night, Inseminoid, Squirm and The Town That Dreaded Sundown.

Most Pleasant Surprise: Tie for Pieces and Night of the Lepus. Pieces was such a fun slasher flick that is equally gory and stupid. Night of the Lepus was a surprise for not being completely stupid and that I enjoyed every minute of it.

Most Disappointing: House. Sure there are way worse movies on our list above but I always enjoyed this fun flick growing up. It was sad to see how awful it was as an adult. Runner-up: Burial Ground.

Favorite Villain: Colt Hawker from Visiting Hours. Hooray for Michael Ironside! Runner-up: Reverend Kane from Poltergeist II.

I had NO idea the bottle was there when I quickly thrusted my arm down on the table… honest!

Best Kill: The most fun kill I witnessed this month came from Chopping Mall when the girl’s head exploded. Seriously it came out of nowhere and made zero sense. Runner-Up: The first victim in Don’t Go In The House burned alive.

Worst Kill: Any of them in Frogs but mostly the non-kill for the old man who died from natural causes. Runner-Up: One of the old ladies in Visiting Hours had her oxygen tube cut by Colt Hawker resulting in her just flatlining while he watched.

Wish I Could Erase From My Memory: Michael, the 12-year-old played by a middle-aged dwarf who lusted after his own mother in Burial Ground. Runner-Up: Sam Elliott without his moustache.

I Told You So: I cautioned Brian against seeing Ghoulies but he didn’t heed my warning. No pity for the fool!

Thanks for reading everyone! See you next year for Schlocktoberfest Part II: Oh God, Not Again!