Friday the 13th – My Special Boy

Full Movie: 

*Spoilers Throughout*

What’s This About: This movie is so “Special” Jerry Lewis should have a marathon for it.

Here are some of my observations as I watched the film:

• It still amazes me that none of these fan-made flicks got pulled from YouTube due to copyright infringement. I’m starting to think Paramount, Victor Miller and Sean Cunningham just don’t give a flying fuck.
• Kinda makes me want to make my own fan-made sequel to Rocktober Blood.
• Nice drone shot of a forest and a lake. (this might be the only compliment I give this atrocious POS)
• Oof, if this is what the dialogue and acting delivery is going to like for the whole feature it’s gonna be an excruciatingly long 70 minutes.
• This is a flashback to when Pamela confronts Elias about the day Jason died drowning and Elias was actually happy about it. This angered Pamela and she slices his chest a few times with a cleaver. Why she had the cleaver outside when confronting him is part of the mystery.
• My “Special” Boy. Uh-huh.
• I’m not sure if this is the present day yet as the subtitles just said “Some Time Later.” That could mean the 70s for all we know.
• It would be interesting if this was a F13 flick about the late 50s when Pamela first went berserk. Bear in mind, in the original F13 we only see 2 counselors getting killed in the direct aftermath of Jason’s drowning but I’d be OK with them changing that up.
• But by the looks of that Ford Pick-up truck this is not the 50s but modern day. Damn it! I never get what I want!
• But I believe a new TV series is in the works about the early days of Camp Crystal Lake and the lore of the Voorhees clan.
• That insect that’s flying all over that dude’s face is distracting as hell.
• This counselor is telling this other counselor that she’s shy and not comfortable around other people then why did she take this job as a camp counselor? And what idiot hired her when she clearly has anxiety around other people?
• Predator handshake reference?
• “Is that your friend that you were talking about bringing?” Asks the head counselor to Roman, his old friend and counselor. So the head counselor never interviewed that shy girl and Roman just hired her himself? That’s ridiculous. And irresponsible—She’s going to be around kids!
• “This year”?! So this camp, which I’m assuming is an incarnation of Camp Crystal Lake, operated before this time? And Jason didn’t attack last year? Weird.
• 
I’m trying to care about all this banter these counselors are blabbing on about but I’m in the mind set of 1. I don’t care and 2. I’m not investing my time on future dead idiots.
• The head counselor just mentioned that he’s hiding the fact that a kid drowned here at that camp when he was a kid. The head counselor is in his 20s. So either they retconned the time that Jason drowned or this film is doing a real lousy job making this the 80s.
• I’m gonna try to get past the fact that it’s possible this flick wants us to believe Jason drowned at a camp in the late 90s/early 00s.
• The head guy mentioned that the Christie’s sold the camp to his parents. So I’m even more confused as to what timeframe this is set.
• Camp Trinity Pointe? Those are words.

Jesus H. Christ

• I’m not sure which character I can’t stand most yet. It’s gonna be a close race ladies and germs.
• The counselors shirts state that the camp was established in 1984.
• Wait a minute. Sean, the head counselor just said that this year is the opening of Camp Trinity Pointe. So this is supposed to be 1984?!
• But he said earlier that they have a great group of people working there this year, meaning they were open before, probably the previous year. So how is this the grand opening?! Has anyone proofread this script?! We’re only 10 minutes into this and already there’s continuity errors and mass confusion!
• Hahahaha. What is going on. One counselor, Levi, asks Sean why the wall says “Be Prepared.” Sean then turns around and we see in bold engraved letters on a concrete wall BE PREPARED. Sean then turns around again to face the counselors and he tries to explain in a less-than-honest way that he wants them all to be prepared to have a fun summer as if the words Be Prepared is an ominous warning. If it said Be Warned this would make more sense, but obviously the engraved words Be Prepared was already at that real location camp site and they the filmmakers tried to incorporate it into their narrative. But they failed.
• A moment ago Sean explained that the girl counselors will be in Cabin A and the guys in Cabin B. Another counselor asks how strict is that enforced. I’m not sure if he wants to be with the girls or have both cabins switch entirely. What a dumb question.
• Bear in mind, this is the second time someone brought up their disappointment on the cabin arrangements. Why the fuck does this matter? Does the girls’ cabin have cable or something?
• Oh, that counselor was basically asking if the guys can enter the girls cabin to, you know, play hide the salami.
• Well things got awkward real fucking fast with these questions about the cabins.
• Do we really need to spend this much time with the counselors? Bring on the mayhem already!
• Sheriff driving around listening to shock jock radio and the fact that the DJ mentioned that a hockey player went missing is some of the laziest foreshadowing I ever heard. Dollars to donuts that hockey player was a goalie and he brought his mask with him.
• I’m still unsure what year this is set in.
• Hahahaha. The sheriff’s (driving a civilian truck by the way) radio is so loud that it’s literally echoing as he drives. But truthfully, that is a audio filter the filmmakers are using to try to have the sound be at a distance yet still be recognizable.
• Sheriff passes a large tree and lo and behold Jason pops out from behind that tree. He already has the hockey mask.
• FOUL! FOUL! Jason doesn’t kill domesticated animals! Kane Hodder already established that rule. I refuse to count that as a kill. You think having Jason kill an animal on screen is edgy? Fuck. You.
• Sheriff hears the dog in peril and gets in peril himself when Jason strangles him with a rope. Meanwhile, Jason put down the machete he was holding before he killed the pooch with a rock. Makes little sense but whatever. Kill Count: 1
• So bold of the movie to kill the police officer first in this. Now who’s going to not believe the counselors when they tell them Jason is alive and killing them?
• These two bros (Levi and the dude who asked about the cabins earlier) are having an intense argument over a girl and the film is trying to have them fight and it’s the cutest attempt at a fist fight ever.
• Sean walks over to the area of the fight and already his second-in-command, April, is there and just watching the fight happen. Sean then yells over to Levi and the other dude to stop fighting and Levi says “Hey, why don’t you wipe that smirk off your face and come [fill] this nut” as he motions to his junk. The other dude bro flips him the bird. Aren’t they his employees and this is their first day (first hour actually)?
• Levi doubles down as Sean approaches him and keeps taunting him about sucking his cock. What is happening?!
• This douche-bag Levi is the most obnoxious character in a movie ever. Like, there’s zero competition in this field now.
• All the while Sean just smirks in his face and this scene couldn’t end any quicker. Christ, can we please just move on.
• Am I living in an alternate reality or something? Levi is such an asshole that he basically quits for no reason and says fuck this camp. All Sean did was tell him and the other dude to stop fighting.
• This movie is actually entertaining how inept it’s becoming.
• If the film was smart, they’d have this scene before the previous Jason scene to maybe (a lot of heavy lifting for that word maybe) establish a ruse if Levi is posing as Jason or not. Well maybe the characters could still think that once the killings start but I highly doubt it.
• The film couldn’t get a proper official wooden Welcome to Camp Crystal Lake sign that each and every other fan-made flick that splurged the $29.99 at a Spirit of Halloween has? Cheapos.
• Anyway, the broken sign that Sean finds while collecting firewood angers him and he hides the pieces. Ironically if he wanted them gone he could’ve made them fire wood as well.
• He then hallucinates Jason walking in the woods threatening him.
• More random anger and lewdness from Levi walking around the woods screaming that he “fucks girls man!” While he takes off his jacket and shirt for some unknown reason. He then admires his half-naked body in a vanity mirror before Jason comes along and slices his throat.
• Not only was that a vanity mirror but it had make-up in it. Why the fuck did Levi have that mirror?! Did he rape a girl and keep it as a memento?

Jesus H. Christ

• Jason then finishes the job by hacking Levi to fucking pieces. Thank you. Kill Count: 2
• April asks Sean if he’s going to make dinner soon. I can’t believe how inept this movie is written. Doesn’t this camp have a cooking staff?! Sean then tells her he’s not in the mood and why don’t they just order a pizza. I can’t anymore. This film is more special needs than Jason is.
• Why is this guy who fought Levi earlier looking for him? Leave that bastard alone I say. Who gives a flying fuck about him. He most certainly won’t give a hot shit for you.
• I’m mildly and morbidly curious who the authorities will explain how a shirtless dude with a make-up vanity mirror got killed in the middle of the woods.
• Oh there’s the official Camp Crystal Lake sign. Jason has one in his shack (guess they could only afford one sign). Next to a very poor representation of his Mother’s head. Why can’t these flicks get a decent severed head? Pamela looks like a sleestak from Land of the Lost. I quickly just googled Pamela Voorhees prop head and there’s some decent, albeit expensive ones on Etsy.
• Sean asks April where is Jesse and Levi and April says she doesn’t know. There’s no way that Sean will keep Levi on as a counselor after the altercation earlier that day and his complete lack of respect to Sean. Is Sean this much of an idiot?
• If this shy girl ends up being the final girl, I’m going to go bonkers and massacre a whole camp of kids myself.
• Sean is this much of an idiot because he hired another girl to be a camp counselor who can’t stand the outdoors and is afraid of bugs and he OK’d the hire of that shy girl without even meeting her. And now he’s going off in the woods in the dark alone without a flashlight to find Jesse and shithead Levi.
• I’m not sure how old these counselors are supposed to be. The girl who hates nature says that while Sean and April are gone they should get the party started and brings out 2 bottles of wine. (Wine?! Now that’s a party! Shocked it wasn’t wine coolers) The other girl (still don’t know most of these character’s names yet) incredulously asks her, “where did you get those?!” So are we to assume they are teenagers since have a glass of wine at camp is such a no-no. They obviously don’t look teen-aged.

Jesus H. Christ

• OK Elizabeth is the shy girl. The other girl by process of elimination on the cast list on imdb must be Jamie and the nature-lover must be Courtney. We all up to speed now? Good. On we go.
• Sean says to April that he’s worried about Jesse and Levi but stops before he says more. April presses him and he yells at her, “Worried that they might be hurt or dead!” April asks him why would they be hurt or dead and here comes the obligatory Jason Legend story I’m sure.
• Also it’s not out of the realm of possibility that since they never returned back to camp that they could be hurt or worse. They had nothing on them for survival or first-aid and the woods could easily be treacherous, especially at night. April is a bobo.
• Wait. What? Roman, Elizabeth and Courtney walked a bit outside of the camp site and wandered into someone’s backyard where 4 people are partying already! What luck!
• And all of a sudden Elizabeth is the social butterfly with these new friends that they just met. Man, this movie is Cromdamned shit-show. The Oscars are less of a train-wreck than this.
• Knock-Knock. Who’s there? Why it’s Crazy Ralph here to give me my warning.

• The sound is awful in this flick. I can barely hear what most of these characters are saying. Courtney just gave a toast which starts off with “Here’s to great sex and paychecks, may all your ups and downs be [not sure what she ends with].”
• Sean is spilling the beans about the lore of the Voorhees with flashbacks to boot.
• Hahahaha, Pamela’s face as she’s stabbing the camera is hilarious.

Jesus H. Christ

• This film is showing the flashbacks with a grainy filter and film stock holes like a film strip but it’s only showing one sprocket hole so it just looks like a small rectangle on the side of the actual movie. Not to get nerdy but one frame of film has 4 sprocket holes and they should’ve known that too. I would’ve been OK with 2 sprocket holes at least.
• No, the truth wouldn’t scare them all away from working there, Sean, it would be your complete lack of competence in running a summer camp.
• Even with his story and the flashbacks showing sack-headed Jason, I’m still not sure what year this is supposed to be.
• Jesse apparently died sometime off screen. It’s OK, I didn’t care anyway. Kill Count: 3
• Drugs?! Where did they get that cocaine?!
• I don’t know any of these new cats names yet since we just met them but one of them is doing coke and is pressuring a girl to also do a line and she’s vehemently against that idea. But he persists like a dick and she has to slap him away. He then tries to punch her before another of the new kids stops him. See, chivalry isn’t dead!
• Jamie and Derek are chatting and she asks him if the turn-out for the camp will be good. Jesus H. Fucking Christ, it’s not a Chuck E. Cheese or Six Flags; people have to actually sign up way in advance to attend fucking summer camp and they would know ahead of time how many kids join them that summer. What idiot wrote this crap?
• Jamie then states: “I’m excited. I like working with kids!” For fucks sake, I sure hope so since it’s like your fucking job numb-nuts.
• Sean and April return with news that they found Jesse dead and ask where the others are and Jamie says they went out looking for the party in the woods. Which is odd considering they didn’t know about the party until they happened upon it surprisingly. Was the scriptwriter suffering from a brain injury when they wrote this?
• Two doofuses from the party in the woods are chatting about how great this party is and the one guy says all the chicks he invited came. Last I checked there was 3 dudes and 1 chick. But then tells the guy that he invited Courtney and Elizabeth. First of all bullshit (I went back in the movie to verify this). And second of all that’s still only 2 chicks. (When they came upon the party, Courtney asks the 4 others already partying “Do you have room for 3 more?” If they were invited to that party she wouldn’t have to ask.)

Jesus H. Christ

• His friend says “that’s only 2?” And the other dude says “but they’re still here!” And they laugh about being dumb males but they fail to realize that they are away from said ladies and drinking by themselves behind a shack.
• This flick is embarrassing for those who wrote it. Who made it. Those who acted in it and anyone who watched it. Present company included.
• I don’t know who this dude is who ran into Jason in the woods (I’m assuming he was at the party) but he’s definitely wearing a ladies tank top with spaghetti straps. Anyway he’s dead (off screen kill) Kill Count: 4
• The doofus who says he invited Courtney and Elizabeth who left the other dude to gather more firewood also meets Jason and Jason gives him one hell of a Camp Crystal Lake welcome. Burned alive. Kill Count: 5
• So Sean knows about Jason and the murders and still opens up his camp. At the very least he could’ve combed the area for any sign of Jason lurking about.
• That dude is still chuckling to himself about the “2 girls” conversation he had with that other doofus. Bro, it wasn’t funny or clever.
• Anyway, he walks into Jason killing the girl who refused the cocaine earlier. Kill Count: 6
• The doofus actually tells Jason to wait before he smashes his head into a wall. Kill Count: 7
• Sean finds Courtney lying on the ground. Then there’s a short flashback showing her demise of Jason choking her out. What was the creative point to that? Kill Count: 8
• Same thing with Elizabeth. He finds her dead and we see a short dumb flashback. If they were going to do a flashback at last have it be a super awesome kill. Nope. We just see her run from Jason. No actual kill. Kill Count: 9

Jesus H. Christ

• He then finds his old high school buddy Roman with a slashed throat but he’s clinging on to dear pathetic life. Until Sean approaches him and he promptly shuffles off his mortal coil. Kill Count: 10
• Phones are down. Gosh darn it to heck!
• Derek goes back to April and Jamie and he tells them that Sean was looking for the others. They’re still outside in the open by a fire when they know their friends are dead and there’s a madman running around.
• As April is chastising Derek about keeping mum about knowing about Jason, a small hatchet flies in and kills Jamie. Kill Count: 11
• This movie is just an insult to the viewers intelligence. Derek and April seek refuge in a barn and lock the door from Jason. As Jason is walking around to the other side of the barn, they notice that the other door is still ajar and run over to it. They close the door but April is struggling to lock it but the slider to lock the barn door is on Derek’s side of the door and he’s just standing there while Jason just easily opens the door. This is just frustrating to watch.
• So now’s a good time to run over to the other door and run out right? Right?
• Ah yes, there you go.
• This flick went with a young Jason who still runs after his victims.
• I haven’t really mentioned it because it’s not that interesting but just in case it pays out later on is Pamela’s vision or ghost guides and speaks to Jason but nothing note-worthy other than “kill them” and “remember what they did to you/me” stuff.
• Look out everyone, Sean has a pick-ax!
• It’s gonna be alright, Sean apologized to April about lying to her.
• While Jason is by the back door looking for April and Derek with his back turned, dipshit Sean calls out “Hey fuck-face!” Why he didn’t take this one in a million chance of striking Jason with a surprise attack while his back was turned is exactly what I would expect this dumb characters to do in this dumb movie.
• Then he ups the dipshit ante by dropping the pick-ax to challenge Jason to a fist fight. Jason obliges by dropping the machete.
• Suffice to say, Jason is kicking Sean’s little heinie.
• Derek and April, who are still hiding under a bed, listening to Sean get his ass kicked are doing nothing. Derek then says he needs to help and April says matter-of-factly, “Why? Sean told us to stay here.” Derek then says that Sean is his best friend and April retorts, “Well, I’m his girlfriend, so I’ll come too.”
• Derek then says: “He’d die if he lost you.” OMIGAWD, he’s literally going to die right this second you colossal fucking morons!
• Derek runs over, grabs the pick-ax and whams Jason across the face with it. But Pamela tells Jason that “it’s not over” and Jason gets back up revealing the terribly done face make-up/mask.

Jesus H. Christ

• Jason then puts the Hockey mask back on and runs over to Sean and for some dumb creative reason the camera spins violently like an old 60s Batman TV show scene transition.
• Smart plan Derek, run right towards Jason so he can grab you and break your neck. Kill Count: 12
• Sean did not take that kill nicely. And now April has entered the fray. She actually tries begging with Jason to stop. With Jason showing an uncharacteristic modicum of mercy to April, Sean grabs the pick-ax and whacks Jason in the noggin.
• Instead of calling the cops and authorities, Sean and April wait until morning to drop Jason’s dead body in Crystal Lake like a funeral service. Sean even says, “It’s over, he can’t hurt anyone anymore.” April then turns to him and says “It’s not your fault.” I’m 98% convinced this was written by ChatGPT.
• Again, I can’t hear what April just mumbled but she then walks away leaving Sean alone with Jason at the dock. JFC, this movie doesn’t even fucking try.
• I mean, would you drag the dead body of a homicidal serial killer who slaughtered all your friends down to the lakeside to say your goodbyes? And leave your boyfriend alone with the corpse to dispose of him by himself? Are these people that fucking stupid?
• Movie ends with a quick cut of Jason grabbing Sean’s throat. Yawn.
• I always forget that all these fan-made movie have like 12 minutes of end credits so they can list all the dipshit crowd funding backers to their projects.
• Oh wait, an unnecessary mid-credits scene! It’s a drunk driving police officer singing a made up song about his cheating wife. When he drops his booze bottle and struggles to retrieve it he practically runs into Jason. When he leaves the squad car to investigate Jason gives him a big ol’ wet smooch.
• Actually he’s so drunk, I thought he was going asphyxiate on his own drunk vomit before he recovered and Jason attacked him but after like the 7th stabbing he manages to shoot Jason in the head before the credits roll again. Kill Count: 13

Kill Count: 13

T&A Count: Nada

Best Kill: Always nice to see Jason use fire as a weapon but I think I’ll go with the cop shooting Jason in the face while Jason stabs him few times.

Final Thoughts: Man oh man was this one a tough watch. Incredibly stupid across the board, it disappoints in each and every way imaginable. If one was going to purposefully make a terrible Friday the 13th film, don’t bother because you cannot possibly top this. What it got wrong—you name it and they fucked it up. Unlikeable and beyond-dumb characters? Check. A terrible looking Jason and weak-ass, uncreative kills? Check and check. I could go on but frankly, I’m done even thinking about this fan-film and would rather just put it behind me for good and move on to the next one, which is (checking my calendar…) Jason Goes to Hell. Mother of god.

Score: 1 Be Prepared (out of 10)

Crazy Ralph’s Opinion: