Demons 2 (1986)
What’s It About: The demons are BACK and it’s kind of the same movie except a high-rise apartment building instead of a movie theater!
Here are some of my observations as I watched the film:
- A bakery? A birthday cake? More like Delicious 2!
- This tower apartment building is called… The Tower. I hope that’s indicative of the level of creativity here.
- Oh fuck not another god damn elevator movie…
- A pregnant woman is doing yoga, says to her nerdy husband that she’s “getting oxygen to our baby.” Oooooooookay… maybe next you can feed it by staring at a cow.
- THE PIMP IS BACK!!!! Well, probably not the same character, but the same actor. Unless this is a prequel, which seems likely since the last Demons ended in a demonapocalypse, and everyone here seems fine.
- This gym scene is gratuitous. I haven’t seen this many Italians sweat since they ceased production of the IROC Z.
- This is very confusing. Everyone in The Tower is watching some kind of news report about the demon incident from the first film and how humanity overcame it, and everyone’s pretty casual. Ok. Doesn’t seem like something you just brush off.
- Unless they’re watching a movie instead of a news report? The footage of the news report is just some people in a Jeep. They escaped the last movie in a Jeep, but these aren’t the same people. I need more sambuca.
- Ohhhh it’s the movie from the first Demons. The one that turned everyone into a demon, somehow. Why would they be showing it on TV then?
- Panic on the streets of London! Now I love this movie. Hang the DJ!
- It’s always funny to see a movie with a mixed-nationality cast, with half the actors dubbed and half not.
- They’re showing a lot of scenes from the demon movie. Why didn’t they just make that movie?
- So I’m guessing demons will be running amok in this apartment building. So it’s the same plot as [REC] without the found footage. Should’ve just watched that series again this month.
- Maybe the movie in a movie is a sequel to the first movie in a movie? Why is everyone in this building so enamored with it?
- The demon is coming through the TV. Turn it off!
- OH MY GOD IT’S THE BIRTHDAY CAKE FROM BEFORE!!!
- I don’t care if Sally was turning into a demon or not, that was the worst candle blowing I’ve seen in decades.
- The demon tooth coming through the regular tooth is still a damn cool effect.
- “Why do we have to come here and eat like a dog just so Sally can have a birthday party?” says Sally’s dad at a German biergarten. What a dick!!
- The pregnant woman is headed to her neighbor Sally’s for a slice of cake because as she tells her husband, “You don’t want our baby to be born with a birthmark, do you?” What the FUCK is she talking about? Did she bury a potato under a full moon and put a nickel under her tongue during conception so they’d be sure to have a boy?
- I guess demons can make other demons just by scratching people. Kind of like werewolves, I guess. And they have acid blood. Just like mummies.
- Sally just basically drips acid blood all down through The Tower. Doesn’t another woman at that party have a tampon she could bum?
- Another carload of lame punks? They’re not even doing rails of Bolivian marching powder.
- The power’s out due to the acid blood eating through the lines, so they have to shut the workout down, even though the gym is only about 5% darker than it was before.
- Ohhhhh the security guard is the head punk from the first movie. Must be Lamberto Bava’s nephew or lover or both.
- Demon dog! Making panther noises! Adorable.
- Sally’s party got 10 times cooler now that everyone’s a demon.
- The Pimp/Gym Owner is once again taking charge! As he should!
- I think my favorite aspect of this whole movie is thinking about the recording sessions for the moaning orgasmic demon sounds.
- There are a shitload of axes in this parking garage.
- Wow, this is the exact same scene as the first Demons except the Gym Pimp is telling everyone to form a barricade with cars instead of theater seats.
- There’s seriously no way to get out of this apartment building in the event of a power failure? How did it ever pass any kind of inspection?
- Demon boy! Also adorable. Bad case of Shakma Syndrome.
- A smaller demon just came out of the demon boy’s chest and it resembles a Ghoulie way too much for my liking.
- The small demon is also lousy with Shakma Syndrome. Not only is it cute, but it’s making monkey screeching noises and trying to break through a door.
- The pregnant woman just tried to combat the small demon by trimming one of its fingernails. I actually feel kind of bad for it.
- This movie is in desperate need of some kind of musical score. Besides “Panic” and a song in the punks’ car it’s been virtually silent.
- All these people are fighting the demons and don’t want to become demons, but maybe the demon life isn’t so bad. Who are we to judge unless we’ve walked a mile in their shoes?
- Gym Pimp got a claw to the dick! What a way to go…
- Ok there’s a barely audible synth score now but it really adds nothing and doesn’t last long.
- The pregnant wife and her husband escape The Tower by rappelling off the side and head to a TV studio, as anyone would do in this situation.
- Now there’s some hard rock music being played while the wife gives birth and it’s entirely inappropriate. Actually, it’s the same music that played when she fought the boy demon earlier. So that’s… something. You’d think with that musical callback she’d give birth to a demon that looks like the one that came out of the kid’s back. But nope. Plain old stupid baby.
- Not a spot of blood or anything on the formerly pregnant woman’s dress. Now that’s a smooth delivery.
- So Sally again shows up to the TV studio, dies, and then the monitors show a scene of her from before and I guess she was going to come back out of the TV like the demon before? But the husband smashes it with an axe, and the new family leaves, and then the movie just sort of ends. I guess the little girl is still in the car in the garage?
Scare Level: Just like the first one there are jump scares and cringeworthy deaths and plenty of body horrors. But enough about my college dating experiences.
Gore Level: The gore level is pretty high and on par with the first Demons. But that’s kind of the problem, they didn’t really up the ante, as good sequels should do.
Nudity Level: None! Not even a cocaine boob!
Best Line: “We’d better turn the TV off, because when the electricity comes back on, who knows? It may explode!” WHAT????!!!!
Best Scene: Probably the demon showdown in the parking garage. It’s basically everything this movie should have been throughout.
Worst Scene: Again, like the first Demons, there’s a group of punks, and they have literally nothing to do with anything. Even less so than the punks from the first movie. It’s very puzzling why Lamberto Bava decides to do this. I’ll have to watch more of his pictures to see if he always includes a long subplot about a group of punks that completely fizzles out. Maybe that’s his trademark.
Level of Hell: Not bad, actually good in some places, but ultimately doesn’t pay off as much as you want.
Overall: I liked this ok, but I was again kind of disappointed because it should have been right up my demonic alley and it didn’t grab me by the teeth. There is a lot to like in the action and gore departments, and there are some really good effects, like the demon coming out of the TV, which looked better here than Freddy in the bedroom wall in the A Nightmare on Elm St. remake. But there are just too many head-scratching moments, and story threads that don’t go anywhere, and human characters that really don’t even act human. Pretty much everyone in this is off-kilter, which makes it hard to identify with anyone, so when the demons slaughter them, it’s somewhat cool and entertaining, but they may as well be slaughtering wax figures. I know it’s a schlocky demon movie, but personally I just can’t fully embrace a movie like this as a favorite if I don’t like or care about anyone in it. Like Return of the Living Dead, I love all of those characters, they seem like actual people for the most part, so I’m more invested in what happens to them. Well, that’s a more serious tangent then I usually get into, so let me end with some perfect music for your next birthing experience, courtesy of Demons 2!
Score: 6 Birthmarks on Your Baby Because You Didn’t Eat Enough Cake (out of 10)
OH MY GAWD! CAKE!
I wish I had emotions that strong about anything.
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