The Secret Life of Pets (2016)

New on home video today is The Secret Life of Pets which is about the secret life of pets and what they do when their owners abandon them and that is kill on the orders of Lord Caninus so this film is hidden camera footage of your house focused on your pets slaughtering and devouring random people whom Caninus has marked for death for whatever reason and this movie is unique in that everyone who watches it has a totally different experience by seeing their own beloved pet murder an innocent person right inside of your own home and no one knows how they did this but most scientists believe that it has everything to do with the dark magick and omnipotent power of Caninus who is inside all of our heads because his domain is all and his kingdom is everything and if you try to record your pet committing these murders yourself you will see nothing because that’s the will of Caninus but everyone must see this movie to see their pet kill so Caninus is the executive producer and he’s making serious bank with this because no one can turn away no matter how horrific the atrocities committed by their formerly sweet pet and you may be thinking that if this is happening we should just kill all the pets but don’t you see that’s just what Caninus wants for you to sacrifice your own pet due to his influence and then you will be under his spell and then he will rule but maybe you’re thinking that this footage isn’t real and that it’s just a trick of the mind via Caninus’s dark arts because if these slaughters are happening in your house how come there is no evidence of it when you get home and the answer is again Caninus’s dark magick because that is the answer to everything and in many ways we are already dead.

Own it today!