Schlocktoberfest V – Day 30: DEATHGASM

Schlocktoberfest5b

DEATHGASM (2015)

Trailer:

*Spoilers Throughout*

Deathgasm-Theatrical-Poster_FINALWhat’s It About: A high-school metalhead lives in New Zealand and must battle all of the demonic forces of New Zealand. 

Here are some of my observations as I watched the film:

  • Lot of top names in this one. 
  • When your opening credits feature a cartoon guy shifting out his entrails there’s a good chance you’re in for a good time. 
  • So Brodie lives with his Bible thumping aunt, uncle and cousin because his mom is a meth whore who was thrown in jail for blowing a mall Santa.  
  • I defy you tell name a funnier prank than a squirt gun filled with piss. Impossible. 
  • I don’t think this is set in the late ’80s, so are there still metalhead teens in the world? Even in New Zealand?

  • DEATHGASM is a great metal band name but Haxan Sword might be the greatest band name of all time. 
  • I haven’t seen this much gore since Dead Alive. 
  • I haven’t seen this much blood shat since Applebee’s introduced their sriracha specials. 
  • I fully appreciate that this movie doesn’t take itself seriously, even though some of its jokes fall flat. 
  • Best use of a giant double-sided dildo and gigantic anal beads as weapons ever! [edit: since my wedding reception]

    Deathgasm smack

  • Brodie just murders his non-possesed cousin, but that’s ok because he was a grade-A dingleberry. 
  • I like Zakk’s character but he’s really a dick through and through even in the face of everything. 
  • So much of this is so stupid, like a chainsaw up a bad guy’s ass, but it’s fantastic. Stupid in a good way. 
  • Unexpected random boobs!
  • After a movie’s worth of excellent makeup, the King of the Demons mask doesn’t look so great.

    Not really much more frightening than Pitbull.

    Not really much more frightening than Pitbull.

Scare Volume: Not so much a scarefest as it is a splatterfest, and, dare I say it, a romp.

Gore Volume: Pretty fucking constant. One of the goriest movies I’ve ever seen and the second-goriest I’ve attempted to re-enact.

Nudity Volume: Four or five boobs. 

Don't ask me why this is so hot, it just is.

Don’t ask me why this is so hot, it just is.

Best Line: “Our music class had to share the same recorder. I can still taste it…”

Best Trivia: There are rumors that if you play a muted DEATHGASM and Iron Maiden’s “Live After Death” simultaneously it syncs up perfectly due to precise editing. The filmmakers have yet to comment.

Best Scene: Any demon-killing scene is great. The movie delivers that in Ace of Spades.

Brad and I have been trying to perfect this handshake for weeks with not success and Brad down one eyeball.

Brad and I have been trying to perfect this handshake for weeks with no success and Brad down one eyeball.

Worst Scene: I know they have to establish Brodie’s cousin as a total prick, but he and a friend nearly beat Brodie to death on school grounds and nothing happens to them. 

How ’bout the Tunes: Balls to the wall metal. Another kick-ass instance where there’s rarely a moment when the movie isn’t shoving metal up your ass.

Band Rating: DEATHGASM doesn’t play a ton and they’re a new band so you have to give them the benefit of the doubt, but they have metal hearts and that’s what counts. Well, not literally because that would kill them. Or maybe it would actually protect them from evil. I’ll get back to you.

SchlockOut-Band-GTE

Overall: You may have noticed that my notes were as light as a Godsmack song. I apologize, but sometimes that just happens when a Schlocktoberfest movie is actually good and there isn’t much to nitpick. Wild Zero was also great, but it was chock full of crazy shit, wheras DEATHGASM is good and very well made and kind of does almost everything right, so there isn’t much to riff on. But that also means I highly recommend it for fans and lovers of gore, metal, and the horror films of the ’80s that actually had fun and didn’t take themselves so goddamn seriously. You know, enjoyable to watch, instead of failing miserably to be edgy. It’s supposedly in theaters now but good luck finding it. But it is on Video On Demand, which is how I watched it. Or, it will appear in your living room if you play “Rock Lobster” by the B-52s backwards. Regardless, check it out. It’s a perfect Halloween movie for people who like fun, and it’s what this year’s Schlocktoberfest is all about.

Score: 8.5 Black Hymns (out of 10)

4 thoughts on “Schlocktoberfest V – Day 30: DEATHGASM

  1. Glad you saw another one that you enjoyed after having to watch so much shit! 🙂 And I’d like to point out that I mentioned this one to you (even though you already knew about it anyway). But it still makes me cool. However, it sounds like it’s too gross for me! Damn.

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  2. Pingback: Schlocktoberfest V: Recap of Rock! | Hard Ticket to Home Video

  3. Pingback: HTTHV’s Top 10 and Bottom 5 of 2015! | Hard Ticket to Home Video

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