The Triumphant Return of the Unbelievably Bizarre and Idiotic Twitter Ramblings of Jaden Smith

Humanity was dealt a blow in early May, when Jaden Smith abruptly deleted his Twitter account. Through Twitter, he had proved to be the greatest philosopher of the 21st century. A poet with absolute knowledge of the universe and how it really worked. All we could do is mourn the absence of his lessons, and hope he would one day return to our planet. Well, it seems that all of our crystal prayer circles paid off, as his account is back online as of Monday. He’s only tweeted once in the past month, but I just know in my heart of hearts that he’ll be back on his cosmic track soon. (Visit our grand history of Jaden here and here and here and here). In the meantime, here is what we sadly almost lost since our last update, which was nearly a year ago, so we have a lot of deep, thought-provoking ground to cover:

When The First Animal Went Extinct That Should've Bin A Sign.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) August 12, 2014

If A Cup Cake Falls From A Tree How Far Away Will It Be From Down. #Jupiter

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) August 29, 2014

Blood On The Leaves Came On Kanye Kept Saying Make A Circle So We Did But The Fire Marshall Told Us To Turn Down With Capital Letters.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) September 1, 2014

The Legacy Of Tron Will Be Missed And Never Forgotten To My Dearest Friend My Home And My Companion. #Legacy

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) September 10, 2014

Something Is Coming.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) September 11, 2014

I Feel Like People Who Look Similar Act Similar.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) September 12, 2014

I Build Pyramids Constantly

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) September 20, 2014

Teleport To Me.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) September 25, 2014

Hate Me Love Me Doesn't Matter I'm Still Occupying Time Inside Of Your Psyche.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) September 28, 2014

"Hey Are You Jaden Can I Have A Picture With You" No Cause I'm Super Sad But We Can Sit And Talk.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) September 29, 2014

Hey @noahcyrus Me You And Willow Should Look At Trees Together.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) October 4, 2014

When People Gossip There Pointing Out In You What They Don't Like IN Themselves.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) October 7, 2014

George Jefferson

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) October 22, 2014

If I Die In My Flannel Will You Write My Poems On Tyler's 5 Panels And Jesusus Sandals This Plane Is Just To Much To Handle.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) October 22, 2014

pic.twitter.com/KSHDWxNTD1

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) October 31, 2014

Every 7 Years Your Body Is Completely Replaced With Entirely New Cells So Just Because You Look The Same Doesn't Mean You Are.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) November 2, 2014

I've Bin Drinking Distilled Water For So Long That When I Drink Normal Water It Feels Like I'm Swallowing Huge Chunks Of Aluminum.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) November 2, 2014

Anyone Born On This Planet Should Have A Planetary Citizenship Enabling Them To Freely Explore There Home

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) November 2, 2014

I Don't Want You Guys To Think Because I Was Born In America That I Speak And Abide By English Grammar. I Speak Jaden, Indefinitely.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) November 3, 2014

One Day. pic.twitter.com/mlYxgvTKQF

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) November 8, 2014

You Taught Me How To Play The Piano But Have Never Heard Me.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) November 10, 2014

Never Mind Its Christmas Eve Homeless People Need To Eat.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) November 12, 2014

I Promise We're Not Crazy….. Sike We Prolly Are IDK Yet. pic.twitter.com/7V5ZZQaiHa

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) November 18, 2014

Currently Going Through Customs Even Though I Was Born On This Planet.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) November 25, 2014

When She's So Fine That You See A Picture And Immediately Start Doing Push Up.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) November 30, 2014

Haters Are Just Pre Creators Who Need The Seed Of Greatness.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) December 2, 2014

I'm Glad That Our Distance Makes Us Witness Ourselves From A Different Entrance.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) December 13, 2014

I Just Like Showing Pretty Girls A Good Time Weather I'm Physically There Or Not Doesn't Matter.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) December 13, 2014

Don't Worry Bae I'll Talk To You About SpaceTime Over FaceTime.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) December 16, 2014

I Just Scrolled Through My Tweets And "I" Started Laughing.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) December 22, 2014

The Head Of The Sphinx Will Fall Off In The Near Future.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) December 24, 2014

I Don't Smell Good, But I Don't Smell Bad You Feel Me.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) January 20, 2015

This Cute Little Blonde Baby Just Looked At Me.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) January 20, 2015

Shia LaBeouf Was At The Grammys Man Really I Couldn't Take The Place Of One Seat Filler.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) February 9, 2015

Relationships Are Messed Up But Your Face Isn't.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) February 11, 2015

The More Time You Spend Awake The More Time You Spend Asleep.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) February 13, 2015

Christian Grey.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) February 13, 2015

A Little Girl Just Asked Me If I Was Willow Smith I Humbly Said Yes And Took A Selfie.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) February 25, 2015

Either I Only Have One Pair Of Shoes Or Every Pair You Choose.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) March 2, 2015

Just Stare In The Mirror And Cry And You'll Be Good. 👍

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) March 3, 2015

What Is The Definition Of "Light"?

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) March 9, 2015

Shia Labeouf Is Life.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) March 11, 2015

When You Party I'm On The Treadmill,When You Sleep I'm On The Treadmill, When I Tweet I'm On TheTreadmill. Remember This

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) March 12, 2015

God Bless The Media, If We Didn't Have It, Who Would You Judge To Make Yourself Feel Better.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) March 15, 2015

That Moment When Peeing Feels So Good You Start Crying.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) March 20, 2015

I Don't Know If Last Night Was A Dream Or Not.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) March 22, 2015

All I'm Gunna Do When I Get My License Is Drive By My X's House REAL SLOW.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) March 24, 2015

Instagram Is Not The Answer.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) March 26, 2015

That Moment When You Can't Sleep Soo You Start Doing Math.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) April 6, 2015

Day Wear pic.twitter.com/TFajcxinEM

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) April 27, 2015

All Of Your Idols Are Going To Start Writing Their Own Articles, And These Uninformed "Journalists" Will Become Obsolete.

— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) April 27, 2015