Where Are They Now?: The Goonies

Goonies celebrate

Happy 30th anniversary to The Goonies! If you grew up in the ’80s, this is likely a magical movie to you. Everyone wanted to be one of the kids in the cast. But whatever happened to the actors who portrayed those kids, and also the actors who played the people who weren’t kids? Read on to find out!

Sean Astin1. Sean Astin (Mikey)

Sean Astin competed on the underground motocross circuit for a while, until his scrotum got caught in the spokes during a sewer race in Kansas City in 1996 and he flipped over the handlebars, ending his racing career.

Josh Brolin2. Josh Brolin (Brand)

In 1996, Josh Brolin brutally murdered his father, James, and threw the only body part Josh refused to eat, his heart, into a storm drain in Kansas City. Soon after, afraid he’d be caught for his crime, he went around to all the storm drains and sewer openings in Kansas City and sealed them shut with duct tape.

Jeff Cohen3. Jeff Cohen (Chunk)

After The Goonies, Jeff Cohen couldn’t find work again due to his perceived negative attitude toward the Chinese based on prank by John Matuszak. He found himself living in the sewer system of Kansas City until 1996, when he was hit in the face by a flying motocross wheel and was killed instantly.

Corey Feldman4. Corey Feldman (Mouth)

Corey Feldman was in Puppet Master Vs. Demonic Toys in 1996 (released in 2004).

Kerri Green5. Kerri Green (Andy)

Kerri Green became a real estate developer operating in the greater Kansas City area. In 1996, she was about to close a multi-million dollar sale on a condo building when, just as the buyer was about to sign the papers, they witnessed a cannibal throwing a severed heart into a storm drain, and they walked away horrified. Kerri disappeared into the sewers soon after.

Martha Plimpton6. Martha Plimpton (Stef)

Martha Plimpton devoted herself to charity and mission work. In 1996, Martha was handing out food and Jesus pamphlets to the homeless in Kansas City when one of them informed her that her old friend Jeff Cohen was living in the sewers. Martha went down there to find him, but in her eagerness slipped on a human heart and fell into the abyss, smacking her face on several pipes that contained volatile sewer gas, cracking them open.

Jonathan Ke Quan7. Jonathan Ke Quan (Data)

Johnathan Ke Quan was driven to madness after drinking the blood of Kali and falling into the black sleep of the Kali Ma. One day in 1996, he entered the sewers of Kansas City with a torch to light his way, burning every homeless person and motocross racer who crossed his path.

John Matuszak8. John Matuszak (Sloth), Anne Ramsey (Ma Fratelli), Joe Pantoliano (Francis), Robert Davi (Jake)

All died in a massive sewer gas explosion in Kansas City in 1996, except Matuszak, who escaped unscathed.

8 thoughts on “Where Are They Now?: The Goonies

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