Dear Patricia,

A common question indeed, proving that there are no small questions, only small bottles of perfume called “samples” that I keep in my glovebox when I need a nip behind the wheel! And if I’ve never been arrested for that, in full view of the public, it’s not implausible that the law enforcement officers in Josh’s town are just as ready to turn a blind eye. But there is a more direct explanation found in that mythical movie place we regularly refer to in this column: the deleted scene! In this scene adult Josh has struck an accord with the chief of his town’s police department, in which he will give them 50% of his toy company salary and use of his warehouse apartment as a hoodrat bangpad if he’ll, quote, “Keep your fucking pig nose out of the Baskin boy case.” And how does he coerce the company’s payroll department into this? The head of HR is the police chief’s mistress! What a film!

And don’t worry about young Josh Baskin, he spends the rest of his life in a booby hatch, receiving hourly electroshock therapy and forever babbling on about the sorcery of Zoltar!

Your picture pal,
Professor Popcorn

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