Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 3-20-2014

Todays Headlines

 

[BEGIN MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]

GEORGE R.R. MARTIN HAS EMERGED FROM HIS SPARKLING JEWEL CAVE LITTERED WITH VARIOUS BONES TO SAY THAT HE WOULD LIKE HIS GAME OF THRONES SERIES TO END AS A BIG-BUDGET MOVIE.

KELSEY GRAMMER MAY MAKE A CAMEO AS THE EXTREMELY OLD BEAST IN THE NEW X-MEN MOVIE WHO TELLS QUICKSILVER TO STOP LOOKING LIKE SUCH A DINGLEBERRY.

BOURNE IDENTITY DIRECTOR DOUG LIMAN WILL DIRECT THE MOVIE ADAPTATION OF THE VIDEO GAME SPLINTER CELL STARRING TOM HARDY AS A SCIENTIST WHO SHRINKS DOWN TO MICROSCOPIC SIZE TO TRAVEL INSIDE A DYING GIRL’S BODY TO REMOVE A DANGEROUS SPLINTER FROM HER TOE BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE.

TODAY’S BIRTHDAYS: CARL REINER IS NINETY-GODDAMN-TWO, SO SHOW SOME RESPECT.

[END MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]
[TODAY’S TRAILER: THE MAN WITH TWO BRAINS]

 DO NOT FORGET TO VOTE IN THE VILLAIN MADNESS TOURNAMENT OR YOU WILL BE DE-LIFED. PLUS, YOU HAVE UNTIL 3 P.M. TODAY TO VOTE FOR GROUP 2. R.O.T.O.R. WILL BE MONITORING THE POLLS. WITH A LIVE GRENADE.

6 thoughts on “Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 3-20-2014

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