Guten Morgen meine Damen und Herren, Death Bed here, with some mediocre movie news for you:
WWE Superstar The Rock or Dwayne Johnson is going to star in a movie where he goes up against the San Andreas fault. But when the movie bombs who’s fault will it be?
Edgar Wright is looking at Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Paul Rudd as contenders to play Marvel’s Ant-Man. But we all know that Bruce Campbell should be Ant-Man!
The kids who made a world-famous fan-film of Raiders of the Lost Ark 30 years ago will get a documentary based on their 7-year passion project…of making a shot-by-shot kids version of an already iconic movie. I’m sure there’s some poor schmuck who made a fan-film of Death Bed: The Bed That Eats that is just waiting for his big break.
[And now, a super cut of cat jump scares!]