The Schlocktoberfest – Day 4: Prom Night

 

SchlocktoberfestXII

 

Prom Night (2008)

Trailer: 

Check out my review of the original Prom Night here!

*Spoilers Throughout*


What’s This About:
It’s senior prom! And there’s no way Donna and her besties are going to miss out despite the fact that Donna’s family was slaughtered by her former teacher because he was obsessed with her three years ago and now he’s escaped custody and finding his way back to her. 

Here are some of my observations as I watched the film:

  • Hahaha. One of the production companies is named Original Films.
  • “Time of the Season” cover ain’t half bad. Very creepy. And a decent opener for a slasher film to boot.
  • EXCEPT they changed the lyrics from “Time OF the season FOR loving” to “Time FOR the season OF loving.” Not sure why they changed it but this changes it to sound like a Christmas song.
  • Idris Elba? No way?!
  • Young Girl gets dropped off by her friend driven by the friend’s mother. The friend still in the car asks her friend if she’s trying out for cheerleading this year and the girls say no and that her mother doesn’t think it’s a good idea. The friend’s mother in the car says “She’s probably right.” Yet the mother is still allowing her daughter to try out for cheerleading. Hmmm.
  • I’m at the age where I know the actor’s name who plays the main protagonist, Donna, but I’m not sure what flicks she’s been in, probably due to me not seeing a lot of rom-coms or recent comedies.
  • A teenager named Donna though? I don’t know any Donnas under the age of 57. Except for the all-girl rock band The Donna’s.
  • Brittany Snow, I had to look her up. She was in the Pitch Perfect movies and the movie musical adaptation of Hairspray as well as a recurring role in Nip/Tuck (Hey! Remember Nip/Tuck?! No one ever brings that series up in conversation) Now I’ve seen all those movies (the Pitch Perfects within the year) and I still wouldn’t be able to tell you that Brittany Snow was in those.
  • Donna comes home, calls for her dad a few times with no response, yet fails to glance over the couch where he’s lying dead.
  • Man, this slasher flick starts as if it was the middle of the movie. Donna is hiding from the killer watching her own mother get killed. She already found her brother dead on the floor before her mother was attacked. It’s an unusual way to start a slasher flick.
  • Ah. It was flashback/dream. Donna is telling her therapist. Played by Ming-Na Wen; Fennec Shand herself.
  • It always amazes me how easy people get over trauma sometimes in horror flicks. Here we have Donna who not long ago witnessed her mother get killed and had her dad and brother as killed in the same night and here she is today with her friends getting ready and excited for prom. Like, sure, she’s going to therapy but I would be an absolute basket case if that happened to me. I’d be lucky if I can get out of bed much less give two hot shits about my fucking prom.

  • I had to look up who plays Donna’s aunt and it’s another actress from Nip/Tuck! Man, this is a sign to check out that series again.
  • So this film starts with the prom? The original had the prom as the finale of the film. Don’t tell me the rest of the film is the prom and they spend the next hour and change bering terrorized at the prom. [Editor’s note: The 1980 original had the prom scenes start approximately 40 minutes in, almost half-way]
  • I know it’s sweet but Donna’s uncle telling Donna that she’s the “most beautiful girl in the world” was borderline creepy, no?
  • Let me guess…the prom is at their high school.
  • Awesome! One of the prom-goers is wearing a top hat.
  • Wait a damn minute. The prom is not at their high school but some lavish hotel or something. And what the fuck…there’s not only a red carpet and a doorman who opens the limos’ doors but there’s a fucking crowd of non-prom-goers snapping pictures like it’s a movie opening night!! Why?!?! These kids are normal kids, they aren’t uber-rich or anything. This town looks like a suburb of Pittsburgh.
  • Oh no. Donna’s killer escaped!! What ever shall they do?!
  • Johnathon Schaech plays Fenton, the killer. And of course Idris Elba is the detective that is obsessed with him. He’s still bummed that Fenton was found not guilty by reason of insanity and placed in a mental facility instead of prison. It’s been eating away at Idris for three years now!
  • This is the prom night to end all proms.
  • It also has spotlights outside the hotel!!
  • Welp, not a shock at all but the film tells us that Fenton is also at the hotel and he already spotted Donna. So much for red herrings.
  • Sassy girls being super sassy!
  • My prom didn’t even have a prom king/queen. Because it’s incredibly stupid. We did have a homecoming king/queen though. Not sure what the point of that is or what that means. Like, did we vote on the nominees? How did they become nominees in the first place? So baffling.

  • Hahaha. Kinda weird that these kids are allowed to stay at the hotel right after the prom. I mean, I remember a lot of my class went down the Jersey shore for the weekend but I also remember there were some parents around. At least my group had chaperones. Otherwise there’s zero way those kids aren’t drinking, getting stoned or fucking their brains out in a wild orgy.
  • Incredibly creepy businessmen in the elevator harassing Donna and hitting on her friends. But hilariously there was an older couple also in the elevator making that scene even more sleazy.
  • Fenton tricks a maid into opening Donna’s room up, kills her and steals the master key card.
  • Couples fighting at Senior Prom. Typical.
  • Cramps?!
  • I zoned out there for a minute. Why is Donna at the suite? I thought she was getting menstruation medicine for her friend with cramps but she’s rummaging through the closets. This is all for the film to build tension as we’re unsure if Fenton is stalking her or not.
  • A moment ago Donna was freaking out being alone in the suite thinking someone else was there. Now she left her friend, Claire, who is also now freaking out thinking someone else is there.
  • Which of course there is, Fenton, and he kills Claire. Why he didn’t kill/kidnap Donna when she was alone is beyond me.
  • I’m still shocked Idris Elba is in this. Wasn’t he Stringer Bell just a few years prior?

  • Kinda odd that Donna and her friends are still planning on what colleges to go to at their prom. Aren’t proms typically in May/June and seniors would have to accept what colleges they want before then? It feels like my college decision was made way before my prom.
  • These teens are talking way too maturely about their relationship and if the long-distance thing will work.
  • Is Michael, Claire’s boyfriend, openly drinking a scotch at the prom? Unless this prom offers soft drinks in old-fashioned glasses.
  • It might just be me but this Michael slowly looking for Claire in the suite is boring as hell.  Either find the dead body already or get killed, anything to stop this scene.
  • Thank you Fenton.
  • Why would a prom DJ need a break? Are his fingers sore from pressing play all night?
  • Wait. Who are these two kids and why do we care? 
  • Why do these chicks give such a hot shit about being prom queen? This is sad enough for an 80s slasher flick but this is 2008.
  • Idris Elba points out Donna to his partner and the partner remarks that she’s pretty. Why would he have to say that out loud? It’s irrelevant and comes off as creepy.
  • No, I highly doubt most freshman are dreaming about the prom when they become seniors. I didn’t care about senior prom when I was a senior.
  • I know I don’t work at a hotel but why is the housekeeper cleaning up rooms on a Saturday night while a prom is raging downstairs?
  • I know the demographic for this slasher flick is teens and that’s why so much focus is on the prom itself but damn, is it boring as fuck.
  • How horny are these teens that they will risk their nice outfits and make-up to fuck during the prom? And before they announce prom king/queen?
  • I shouldn’t care but this DJ is so low-energy and talks way too much. Did this flick splurge too much on Idris Elba that they could’ve afford a better DJ/MC/comedian to pep up this thankless role?
  • This is so dumb. The two teens, Lisa & Ronnie (Donna’s friends), who are making out are nominees for king/queen and they are missing the announcement because they’re dry humping.
  • And hilariously enough, the girl comes to her senses to stop her boyfriend, not because she remembered prom king/queen but that she all of a sudden recalled the fella she bumped into at the elevator she recognized as Fenton.
  • Hahahaha. They are waiting on making the announcement until Lisa and Ronnie show up. And people are getting anxious!
  • These kills are as lackluster as they come. Literally, Fenton is just slicing and lashing them with his hunting knife.
  • Idris and his partner find the dead body of the maid and immediately try to shut down the hotel. Idris pulls the fire alarm (why?!) thus further delaying the prom king/queen announcement. Poor kids.
  • I’m just throwing this out there that Elba’s creepy partner will turn out to be Fenton’s accomplice somehow. Just a vibe I’m getting from him.
  • Unless of course, he dies in the very immediate future.
  • Chrissy, a rival prom queen nominee forcefully takes the envelopes with the winners from the teacher and it turns out Ronnie and Lisa won. Good for them. I was rooting for them the whole time.
  • Forgot your mom’s shawl upstairs? Gotta be kidding me.
  • How is there over 20 minutes left?!
  • Why is Fenton playing games here? When Donna was looking for stuff in the closet (again!) he tried to grab her but she ducked down in the nick of time and when the camera panned up again he was gone. A few seconds later she’s heading out the front door and he walks in. What was his point leaving and coming back?

  • Donna locked him out of the suite and now he’s using a fire extinguisher to break down the door. He has the master key!
  • Exactly how did these high school kids afford this huge suite anyway?
  • I’m just as baffled as to why Bobby is mad at you too brah.
  • Are they really going with the plan to bring Donna back to her aunt and uncle’s house when they don’t know where Fenton is? Why not drive her 100 miles away? Why risk the lives of her aunt and uncle?!
  • Man, I don’t think I ever cared less about what happens in a slasher flick before. This is literally boring me to tears.
  • You know what would’ve made this slasher flick more interesting? If they had left who was killing the kids a secret and we’d assume it was Fenton but turns out it was some jealous teen or something. Knowing it’s Fenton going around relieves a ton of suspense and tension. 
  • Hahaha. Idris Elba just now, hours later, realized that Fenton brushed past him at the hotel dressed as one of the hotel porters after finding the porter hidden in an air vent with his uniform off.
  • How the hell are they able to sleep at a time like this?!
  • Donna turns off the TV that was left on playing Can’t Hardly Wait. I’d very much would rather watch that right now.
  • Welp, my evil detective partner theory was wrong. Would’ve made a more interesting story if I was right.
  • Now Bobby’s dead? Happened off screen and Fenton left him on the bed looking like he was still sleeping and didn’t bother staying near the bed to get Donna. She almost escaped him again.
  • Idris take this time looking for Donna in the house to call an ambulance for the cops dead outside. Dipshit, why don’t you find Donna first and have the Aunt or Uncle call for an ambulance.
  • Wait, after a brief fight with Fenton, Donna holds her own long enough for Idris Elba to barge in and shoot him dead. So crom-damned boring! Seriously you can’t write a more uncreative ending.
  • Donna is going to need a boat-load more therapy now that Fenton killed her best friends and boyfriend now. But I’m sure she’ll be fine by the time she gos of to college.

Final Thoughts: The original 1980 Jamie Lee Curtis slasher flick isn’t a bona fide classic by any stretch of the imagination but it’s far and beyond more entertaining than its remake. The 1980 one had a few red herrings and left who’s the killer a mystery up until the very end and it was a twist ending of sorts. The remake is so boring, uncreative and such a slog to get through. The killer was exposed way too early. He was dull as day old dish water in appearance and how he killed people. The final fight was quick and simple with Idris Elba’s detective just shooting the killer in the nick of time. I mean, what was the point to making this film? It did nothing interesting or memorable at all. AT ALL! Hell, the old Prom Night sequels were way more entertaining than this remake.

Score: 1 Giant Urge to Stab Myself in the Eyes (out of 10)

Which was Better?: No contest—Jamie Lee’s!

 

One thought on “The Schlocktoberfest – Day 4: Prom Night

  1. Pingback: The Schlocktoberfest: The Recap Ends | Hard Ticket to Home Video

Got something to say?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s