Ant-Man (2015)

New on home video today is Ant-Man which tells the story of an ant queen who wants nothing more in life than to be male because she’s always identified as male her whole ant life and even though she’s the queen there’s too much pressure from ant society for her to perform her duties to the colony and if she switches genders every ant under her care could die so she has to choose between her duty and her heart and there are many touching musical numbers and in the end one by one the ants come up to her and tell her it’s ok they all have secret desires and that she should go ahead and follow her dreams because that would give the rest of the colony hope and she’s deeply moved by this showing of support and decides to go through with the gender reassignm-ant procedure but as she sits atop the anthill right before the surgery looking off into a new horizon some bastard kid comes by and burns her to death with a magnifying glass then all the other ants die so it’s a real downer.

Own it today!

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Minions (2015)

New on home video today is Minions which is the sequel to Ant-Man which was rushed into production after the initial positive reviews of Ant-Man and was made so quickly it actually came out the week before Ant-Man and tells the story from the point of view of the worker ants or “Minions” if you will and it’s the exact same movie except shown through a yellow filter and in a circle and that’s supposed to be “Minion Ant Vision” and occasionally the Minion ants will comment on the events of the movie like “What is the Queen doing now” and “I’m beginning to respect the plight of the tr-ants-gender community” and “SHITBURGERS!!” and it ends the same way where they all die so it’s still a downer.

Own it today!