James Bond: The Definitive Film Ranking


The release of Spectre today marks the remarkable 50th entry in the James Bond film franchise, which is more than twice as many entries as the second-longest running movie franchise: The Police Academy films, with 22 entries.

With this final film in the suave superspy series, what better time to rank all of the movies from worst to first? As 007 himself always says, “Let’s do this shit up nice!”

50. Die Another Day

49. The Man with the Golden Gun

48. Moonraker

47. Jaywalker

46. Hong Kong in a Handbasket

45. The World is OK, I Guess

44. I’ll Give You Something to Die About

43. A View to a Kill

42. I Have Killed Before and I Will Kill Again Starting with You Unless You Tell Me Where the Device Is

41. Pityfuck

40. Of Human Bond-age

39. Gentlemen Prefer Bonds

38. The Spy Who Loved Me

37. Let Sleeping Dogs Die

36. You Only Live Twice

35. You Only Live Twice, Again

34. You Only Live Thrice

33. You Only Live Twice 4ever

32. Beavertooth

31. Never Say Never Again

30. Never Say Never Again, Again

29. Never Ever Say Never Ever Again, Again

28. Never Say Never Again, 4 Real, I Mean It

27. Fucking Die, Already

26. Your Guess is as Dead as Mine

25. The Man with the Brass Scrotum

24. To Kill a Mocking Bond

23. Weekend at Blofeld’s

22. The Maltese Titties

21. Pardon My French Kissing

20. The Princess Bond

19. On the Ayatollah’s Command

18. Spring Breeeeaaaak!

17. Pipelayer

16. In Her Majesty’s Wizard Sleeve

15. No Shirt, No Shoes, No Life

14. The Nerve of This Mother Fucker

13. Showdown at Applebee’s

12. Under My Dead Body

11. Beat ‘Em & Eat ‘Em

10. Cathouse Blues

9. Custer’s Revenge

8. The Woman with the Diamond Nipples

7. Bloodwings

6. Inconvenient Attraction

5. The Clumsy Assassin

4. Skyfall

3. Pantyfall

2. Octopussy

1. Oc2pussy: Double-O-Pussy

12 thoughts on “James Bond: The Definitive Film Ranking

  1. Pingback: Reel Quick: Spectre | Hard Ticket to Home Video

  2. Pingback: November 2015 Favourites | FILM GRIMOIRE

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