Hard Ticket to Home Video Classic: I Don’t Get It… The Terminator Franchise

Brad: I watched Terminator 3 the other night and it was only the second time watching it. Absolutely f’n garbage. Makes the 4th one look like The Empire Strikes Back.

Brian: See I didn’t think it was all that bad. At least Militant Sarah Connor isn’t in it. That’s one of my top 5 most annoying characters in movie history.

I’m so deep and brooding maybe I should just shoot myself and make the rest of the movie fun to watch.

Brad: I didn’t think it was bad at all when I saw it in theatres years ago either. In fact I loved the ending being bleak and basically a sad ending. But my main gripe against it was how much it aped T2 and really didn’t bring anything new to the table at all. Plus Ahnuld essentially phoned it in. “Talk to the hand.” ech. Pitiful. I should probably write a review of T3. The Terminatrix was hot though.

I just terminated my boxers.

Brian: I would say it A.P.E.d T2.

Brad: That’s what they should’ve done in T3. Sent back a gorilla terminator to kill John Connor and the resistance sent a chimp terminator to protect him. Seriously how FN cool would that be?

Brian: A Planet of the Apes/Terminator crossover. TerminApe.

TerminApe 2: Jungle Day

Brad: The funniest thing about the Terminator films is if the machines want John Connor dead so bad why can’t they just try to kill Sarah again maybe when she’s a little girl. Why do they always try later and later when John is older and wise enough to the whole Judgment Day thing?

Brian: Or go back to the 1800s and kill her great-great-grandmother when she’s 80. Or instead of a terminator, send a nuclear bomb to wipe out the city she lives in.

Brad: I’m also wondering that when all three times SkyNet sent a terminator to kill a Connor, the resistance sent a protector. If the resistance was so clued in to how and when SkyNet was sending a terminator couldn’t they be better at destroying SkyNet in the first place? Or better yet send a resistance team to the past to wipe out SkyNet/Cyberdyne instead. And if like their attempts to kill John Connor fail repeatedly, just keep trying. And if the resistance is so good at reprogramming T800s why can’t they get a whole bunch of them to attack SkyNet bases while still in the future instead of sending them back to the past over and over again?

Brian: Did they explain how they knew a terminator was sent back in the first one?  Again, why didn’t they build the terminator with a small nuclear explosive failsafe that would go off as soon as it saw Sarah Connor?  The machines really didn’t plan well, especially since they’re machines.

Brad: I’m not 100% sure but I do recall Reese telling Sarah how they knew but I’d have to rewatch it to be certain. It’s funny that you mention nuclear explosive in the T800s because in the third and fourth they showed batteries that power the T800s and they are nuclear. In fact, Ahnuld takes one out in the middle of T3 and throws it out of a car and it explodes with a mushroom cloud nearly killing them in the process.

Brian: You’re right!  So set that thing off, man!  Instead of trying to grab Sarah Connor at the end of the first one he could have just blown them sky high. Oh wait, that’s how the third Arnold kills the Terminatrix, by blowing up his nuclear battery.  What the hell then?  Ponderous.

This wouldn’t have worked on Sarah Connor? You could have at least stuffed a sock in her mouth.

Brad: The fourth one is even more ponderous. SkyNet created Marcus the first human/terminator hybrid so he can effectively infiltrate Connors camp but he was never programmed to kill just infiltrate. And in the course of the film he helps both Kyle Reese and Connor when he had more than enough opportunity to kill them. SkyNet calls him a success while he really didn’t do anything but gain Connor’s trust. I also think he was supposed to bring Connor to Reese who was captured already and used as bait for Connor which made zero sense since killing Reese would solve their whole resistance problem in the f’n first place.

Brian: Another instance where they could have remotely detonated his nuclear battery as soon as he was inside John Connor’s headquarters. And he was supposed to be this perfectly designed terminator, yet they were mass-producing the Arnold version?

Brad: Right! That’s another thing that’s wacky is they made a new stride in the hybrid terminator yet their next installment was the Ahnuld version. Marcus should have been AFTER Ahnuld in the chronological timeline right? I think the Terminator franchise has run it’s course. It was better when it was simpler with the first 2 movies. Like I said they tried to duplicate T2 with T3 and they really didn’t know what to do with the fourth. If they had left out Marcus completely then it would’ve been twice as good.

Brian: Precisely.  And I just remembered that the 4th movie ends with John Connor blowing up the nuclear batteries to destroy SkyNet.  TERRIBLY PONDEROUS. The 4th movie was supposed to be an all-out war film with humans vs. machines and John Connor being a badass, not about some prisoner’s redemption.  They should have let Shane Black take control of it.

13 thoughts on “Hard Ticket to Home Video Classic: I Don’t Get It… The Terminator Franchise

  1. The apes thing is extra great.

    The reason SkyNet can’t kill Connor is simple. In an even more futurey future (Deep Future), SkyNet has gained even more power, and part of the reason why has something to do with adult John Connor being alive, and what he does as an adult leading the resistance. So the deep future SkyNet covertly sends glitches through time back to the earlier future SkyNet (the one we know from the movies), so when they send their Terminators into the past, they fail. Deep future SkyNet has the bigger picture, and thwarts itself to save itself. Deep future SkyNet can’t “tell” shallow future SkyNet not to kill Connor, because it would alter the entire timeline, and that’s why its a secret.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “I watched Terminator 3 the other night and it was only the second time watching it. Absolutely f’n garbage. Makes the 4th one look like The Empire Strikes Back.” Yeah , er , well, why would people use a Star Wars movie as a measure of the quality of a film? Believe it or not there are people out there who consider Star Wars to be the most boring pretentious crap to ever come out of Hollywood,. But I am sure no one will be offended if I say that


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