Ask Professor Popcorn: The Breakfast Club

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Dear ei,

This confusion is all due to a deleted scene. In it, Bender talks to the janitor about his nefarious plan to drug all of the other kids so that they’ll make out with him since he’s so desperately lonely. So the marijuana weed is laced with a powerful hallucinogenic called GT-86, which was developed in the 1940s to make Nazi dogs turn on their masters. Anyway, Bender ends up making love to the janitor, and they use greatest-named-movie-character-ever Brian Johnson’s flare gun during their joint climax. Regardless, drug abuse has different effects on people. For instance, depending on what kind of perfume I drink, I can either run around like a cannibalistic Mitch Gaylord like Emilio, or pretend I’m an unmovable tree mouse. But it explains why they’re all going nuts one minute, then they’re all crying later because they have to waste a couple of hours on a Saturday morning when they probably wouldn’t have been doing anything good anyway. I mean, come on, really? Just sit there. You’re in a fudging library, read a book. Are we sure this movie isn’t stupid?

Your picture pal,
Professor Popcorn

Have a burning film question for Professor Popcorn? Ask away in the comments section below!

7 thoughts on “Ask Professor Popcorn: The Breakfast Club

  1. Dear Professor Popcorn,

    Thank you. This all makes sense now. The weed I have never smoked was never laced with anything. I wouldn’t know because I’ve never smoked any.

    Cordially,

    ei

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah, the weed I’ve never smoked smelled really good one time and I got actually physically in the same room as it. . .but then the crushing fundamental politics and religious climate of east Tennessee (where I live) took hold and so instead I decided to be a good boy and attend the University of Tennessee, where I was able to escape such horrendous realities like narcotics with great ease.

      I had the same exact question about Emilio Estevez’s reaction here, too, Eric!!!

      Like

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