Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 2-7-2014

Todays Headlines

 

[BEGIN MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]

PAUL BETTANY HAS JOINED THE AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON CAST AS VISION, A MAN WHO CAN TRANSFORM HIMSELF INTO AN ’80S SKATEBOARD.

JAY BARUCHEL WILL STAR IN THE TEN O’CLOCK PEOPLE, BASED ON A SHORT STORY BY STEPHEN KING ABOUT SMOKERS BEING JOKERS. SMOKE OUTSIDE THE DESIGNATED SMOKING AREA, YOU WILL BE EXECUTED BY FLAMETHROWER. FLICK YOUR BUTT ON THE GROUND, YOU WILL BE EXECUTED BY HAVING YOUR ASS SLICED OFF.

CHRIS PRATT EXPLAINS WHY JURASSIC WORLD WILL BE TOTALLY AWESOME, AND R.O.T.O.R. IS NOT EVEN IN IT… YET.

DO NOT WORRY, EVERYONE. JASON STATHAM WILL BE STARRING IN THE MECHANIC 2, WHICH WILL BE UNLIKE ANY MOVIE HE HAS EVER DONE. IT IS ALWAYS NICE TO SEE SOMEONE GO OUTSIDE OF THEIR COMFORT ZONE, LIKE HOW R.O.T.O.R. DABBLES IN ACTING AND COMEDY AND ORIGAMI.

TODAY’S BIRTHDAYS: JASON GEDRICK IS 49.

[END MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]
[TODAY’S TRAILER: HECTOR AND THE SEARCH FOR HAPPINESS]

 

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