Brad: Before we wrap this up we have some more nitpicks:

We never saw Clark go to college right? But wouldn’t one need a college degree in journalism to become a reporter for a prestigious newspaper such as the Daily Planet?

Brian: I was thinking that too. He basically just decided he wanted to be a reporter and immediately got a job at the biggest newspaper in the biggest city in the world. Not to mention the fact that print is dead and they probably wouldn’t even be hiring.

Brad: Also I don’t mind that Lois knows that Kent is Superman. I cannot fathom how further installments will tackle the screwball-like secret identity “where’s Clark? and Why is he never around when Superman is near” scenarios with this new tone of the series.

Brian: About the world engines. One plan was Superman’s spacepod had the same phantom drive and blah blah technical jargon blah, and his plan for the other one was punch a hole in it. I thought that was funny.

Brad: Those tentacles from the world engines he had to fight were so lame. And that right there was something that should be in a light Superman movie! It’s like Superman III and he fought a computer. It’s corny. A huge machine with a dozen extremely long and quick tentacles fighting Superman? Such an odd choice for this flick.

Brian: Yeah those tentacles were a lot like Superman III. Why would they even be there on a terraforming machine?

Brad: Which leads me to bring up Zod’s army. I didn’t count the members but I think it was 10, maybe 15 people right? It was a huge bluff on Zod’s part to threaten a whole planet with an army of 15 (a few were just scientists too) and just one ship. And the whole Earth was terrified and was ready to comply to his demands. Did Zod even say exactly what he would do to the planet if they didn’t hand over Kal-El? And at that point he didn’t know he would be a superman too.

Brian: True, they had no idea bullets would be so ineffective. And again, just go terraform someplace else.

Brad: This doesn’t really bother me anymore because every action-hero movie does this more and more but why was Lois in that plane at the end? She’s a journalist! She could’ve given the Superman key to Dr. Hamilton to activate Kal’s ship. All you had to do was press it in and Hamilton figured out that the front of the craft had to be rotated a quarter turn anyway so Lois was basically put in harm’s way for nothing. If she was with Perry White trying to save that Jenny girl in the rubble or better yet make her stuck in the rubble and have Superman save her would’ve been a decent idea now. At the very least it would’ve made that rescue scene with Perry White less unnecessary.

Brian: I KNOW!! Instead of, “Stay at this military base where you’ll be safe,” it’s, “Come along for the ride! What’s the worst that can happen among all these flying spaceships of destruction?”

Seriously who gave half a shit if that girl died or not?

And I was thinking, would the structure of buildings really fail completely and collapse if two 200-pound guys crashed into them?

And thinking about Zod’s death, Superman couldn’t have just covered his eyes? Or done anything else besides killing him? That scene should have been Lois trapped in the rubble, Perry tries to save her but can’t, then Zod and Superman show up and he does the heat vision thing at her, so we might care a little bit more. WHY DIDN’T THAT FAMILY JUST RUN FROM THE LASER SLOWLY COMING AT THEM??? It’s like that steamroller joke in Austin Powers.

Brad: How was it even possible that Zod couldn’t move his head an eighth of an inch to the right and killed those people?

I think the only logical and feasible way for Superman to kill Zod was to throw him into a volcano. Or the sun but I’m not sure how Superman could get that close without killing himself too.

Brian: He should’ve frozen Zod with his freeze breath, then shatter-punched him. It’s more dramatic if it’s slow. Just be thankful Zack Snyder didn’t film it in slow motion.

Brad: I said this in the theatre that in the original Superman and this reboot that he only learns to fly when he dons the costume. I understand that he wouldn’t even think it even possible that he can soar away but no one tells him that he can fly so how is it that he all of a sudden flies when he “becomes” Superman? Is it the cape?

Brian: It didn’t seem like he realized he could fly at first. He just kept jumping higher and higher until he stayed up there. I thought they handled that pretty neat.

Brad: Also, another thing about Superman in general, why does he feel the need to explain his origins and that he’s an extraterrestrial? He looks just like a caucasian human already and was raised by humans so why alienate yourself further. Science might explain that he’s an alien but how would they even test him unless he surrendered to such scrutiny? He could just be like, “Look I’m fucking Superman, I can basically do anything and you people can’t do anything about it. Yes, I was born here and raised in Kansas. What’s that, where’s my birth certificate? [tears off a steel girder and bends it like a pretzel & throws into outer space] THERE’S MY F*CKING BIRTH CERTIFICATE!!!

Brian: Yeah you never really think of Superman as an alien and this movie played it up a lot more with all the spaceships and stuff. And his penis, which curves in the S shape.

Let’s talk about how Krypton was basically hours away from being annihilated, yet the King of Krypton sent all their worst criminals out into space. Smooth move, Ex-Lax.

Brad: Yes, the whole planet has mere minutes of existence left, lets just exile the villains into space where they will survive scene was beyond ridiculous. Why didn’t they just execute them and save the everyone the time and effort of a trial-like event? And why wasn’t Jor-El’s wife punished for having a natural-born baby and sending it to Earth?

But the whole Krypton scene was mind-boggling as a whole. They are an advanced race with complicated space ships, floating talking metallic intercoms and weapons yet Jor-El chooses an alien moth-like creature to escape to safety. Why was that in there? If he took a flying carpet I wouldn’t mind so much as it fits the futuristic tone of the planet but a giant flying creature. Odd choice.

Brian: They’re an incredibly advanced race but have only discovered the colors gray and brown. Except Superman’s suit, which is inexplicably red and blue and had a cape for no real reason. I read that those suits were worn by everybody on Krypton under their armor, like Zod showed at the end, so if they were supposed to be worn under armor, why was a cape involved? But yeah, the giant dragonfly was pretty odd. Should’ve just been a hoverboard.

Brad: This whole film was devoid of color. Everything was dark hues, black & ashen. This was one depressing Superman flick.

The cape thing now reminds me of a scene that puzzled me. The dream Superman had with Zod explaining his plan with Superman drowning in human skulls? Was that a dream or some sort of Kryptonian mind-meld Zod did to him. And if memory serves Zod was wearing his under armor with a cape too. F*cking capes. Wouldn’t that just cause drag when he flies anyway?

Brian: Yeah it was like a mind-meld, as Lois later explained that they got inside her head and Superman said they did the same thing to him. But you’re right, Zod did wear a cape in that. I guess they were just fashionable on Krypton.

Brad: And I didn’t like the flashback of young Clark wearing a towel as a cape. That was way too meta for me.

Brian: That was probably the cheesiest part of the picture. I’m pretty sure that dog was Krypto the Super Dog.

Was it ever explained to Superman that he was the codex, though? And when that bald guy took Superman’s blood, was that all they had to do?

Brad: I guess so. But why the mind meld? Couldn’t he just talk to him face to face?

Brian: Because it had to be explained even more.

Brad: This film also had way too many expository scenes. The Krypton origin scene was what, 20 or so minutes explaining everything to us viewers. Then the ghost/program of Jor-El explains everything yet again to Kal-El with an out of place Art Deco visualization to help. 15 minutes cut right there. The whole Perry White saving his employee scene could’ve been nixed as well.

Brian: Yes everything gets explained way too much in this movie. You have the whole beginning, then Superman on the old ship, then Zod explains it to the world, then Superman explains it to Lois, then Zod explains it to Superman, then Jor-El berates Zod about it, then I think Zod explains it again.