Fright Night (2011)

Trailer: 

*Spoilers Throughout*

What’s This About: Charley Brewster lives next door to Jerry Dandridge, who happens to be a vampire. And he’s not the friendly kind of vampire either! You definitely don’t want to borrow a cup of sugar from this guy. And don’t even think about lending him a power tool! 

Here are some of my observations as I watched the film:

• Peter Vincent is now like a Criss Angel type performer instead of a late-night horror host. I’m cool with that.
• This dog is not protecting this kid. Bad dog.
• Yes. Hide under the bed. Good spot.
• The good news is under the bed is where this kid’s dad keeps his pistol. The bad news is it needs a key to unlock it. Good news is the dad, who’s dead next to the bed, has the key on him. The bad news is the kid was too slow to use the gun.
• Cool titles.
• This “town” or “subdivision” is a perfect rectangle of homes and roads and it’s very small. If the drone camera was slightly slower at approaching I would be able to count the homes. I’m not sure if it’s real or CGI but it’s strange and awesome.
• If a hot chick ever says to me “you’re getting big” I’d definitely have to show her.
• Finally. A movie where Toni Collette looks attractive.
• This film reminds how great an actor Anton Yelchin was and is missed. I’m getting a ton of Peter Parker characteristics from him. I bet he’d give Tom Holland a run for his money.
• Toni Collette, Charley’s mom, is a real estate agent and she’s loading her van with For Sale signs with wooden stakes. Foreshadowing perhaps?
• Charley’s girlfriend, Amy, is played by an actress named Imogen Poots. That’s equally a cute name and a weird name.
• James Franco’s cool little brother. Nice.
• I was thinking the same thing James Franco’s brother. How did Anton Yelchin get that hot girlfriend.

• Is McLovin ever going to get that frog out of his throat. And will I ever refer to McLovin as his real name? Probably not.
• “Don’t you have some sluts to go fuck?” “Yeah, actually I do.” Even if Dave Franco didn’t have any sluts to fuck, I’m not sure that insult is offensive as much as McLovin thinks it is.
• I’m going to have to try that Stretch Armstrong masturbating trick.
• I’m assuming they are making the Ed character to be gay like in the original? Except now it’s more blatant.
• Has Colin Farrell always had these huge eyebrows?
• Man, Colin Farrell was and is still cool as fuck.
• Nice that they kept the vampire who enjoys apples trait from the original. Nice little nod there. Although why would a vampire eat apples? I thought them being undead meant they only drank blood. Anywooo.
• Jerry IS a bad vampire name. I totally agree. Now, Barnabas. That’s a perfect vampire name.
• Having a vampire live near Las Vegas is a very smart idea. Like Charley says, he has blacked out windows so he can sleep during the day because lots of people have tinted windows due to them working all night on the strip.
• Unlike the original, Charley isn’t the one obsessed with the horror movies and it’s Ed who wants to recruit Peter Vincent to help them with their ‘vampire’ issue.
• “You’re so cool Brewster.” Great quote. Again.
• I can totally see McLovin take up the Rick Moranis type when he matures more. He said “let me in” and to me it sounded like Louis in Ghostbusters.
• I’d like to know how Evil Ed got his nickname. I can only think it’s one of those ironic nicknames like Little John. He’s probably evil in the sexual perverted sense.
• Love how Ed thinks that Jerry can’t come in the house unless invited like the old vampire rule but Jerry quickly points out that it’s an empty abandoned house, thus negates the whole invitation trope. 
• Is that Lisa Loeb?! Odd. But the comedian guy who is playing McLovin’s dad is perfect for this role.
• Judging by how messy his room is, now I know why they call him Evil Ed.
• Why can’t Jerry go out to get his own beer? Why can’t he go to a bar with his girl, Doris? Why can’t Charley ask him these questions? It’s just so suspicious. 
• Budweiser huh? Guess you can say he’s a Bud-sucker!

• This man-to-man chat Jerry is giving Charley is both creepy and heart-warming.
• It would be nice for Charley to give an actual excuse to why he won’t sleep with Amy when she’s asking for it. He basically says he’s tired but she don’t care. We know it’s because he’s creeped out by Jerry but she doesn’t know that. Come to think of it it’s very unusual that she was waiting for him in his room this whole time. He really must be hung like a horse.
• A vampire has a rock-hide-a-key? Odd.
• How does Jerry have this secret section of his house where he has multiple small rooms to keep victims? He just moved in so he really didn’t have time to build these.
• Didn’t see that jump scare coming. Duh. And why would Doris’ hand reach up to the peep hole like that?
• Nice Charley. You hide and leave Doris to be bitten by Jerry. How noble of you.
• Funny that Charley is struggling with trying to pick Doris’ door lock when he didn’t even bother trying the key that was still in one of the other doors nearby. They all could be the same key/lock combination.
• What a plan Charlie. Try to sneak yourself and blood-letting Doris out of Jerry’s house while he watches TV. Were they planning on going through the front door?
• Now Jerry’s drinking beer? Goes against the whole “I never drink…wine” idea.
• That death of Doris (since Jerry bit her making her a vampire and it’s now daylight making her burst into flames and guts) was awesome and unexpected. Kudos.

• How many days is Charlie going to wear that bird t-shirt?
• Did Charlie always plan on sneaking in to chat with Peter Vincent as a reporter? He took the press badge after he took a newspaper for use in the badge.
• It’s almost like they wanted Russell Brand for Peter Vincent but wanted someone with actual acting abilities.
• Right! Charley knows that Peter Vincent is an entertainer and his show is all an illusion yet he still thinks that Peter has some expert knowledge on vampires. Everything Peter tells Charley about vampires is what every other vampire movie or book has said.
• Oh they just ruined a great sight gag of Charlie’s mom walking past Charlie’s room while he’s carving a wooden stake and she could think he’s jerking off. That would’ve been funny.
• AGAIN with the bird t-shirt!!
• Charley hung up a few dozen strands of garlic in front of one of the windows and his mom never noticed or cared? Alrighty then.
• How in hell did Jerry know where the gas line in Charlie’s house actually was? He just goes to their backyard and starts digging. A lot of suspension of disbelief in that scene.
• “Don’t need an invitation if it’s a new house.” That really doesn’t make that much sense. How old does a house have to be before it warrants an invitation for a vampire?
• Jerry just threw Charley’s motorbike several yards at Charley’s mom’s van. Kinda weird.
• This continuous shot in and around the van as it’s driving is impressive. Its second only to Children of Men.
• If you know there’s a vampire under your vehicle wouldn’t it be a good idea to go off road and hope rocks and rough road get him off?
• Chris Sarandon! Sweet cameo.
• I’m not Impressed by Jerry’s vampire face special effects.

• I love how cavalier and sarcastic Jerry is.
• See, there’s the foreshadowed real estate sign stake in the van from earlier like I predicted.
• See this is a good time to finish the job of staking Jerry when he’s vulnerable. Not leave. I know his mom was hurt but it should only take a moment to stake him again in the heart. Although it is humorous seeing Jerry writhe around with a Century 21 sign stuck to his back.
• Nice ass shot.
• Kinda funny that Peter Vincent didn’t bother getting rid of Charley’s printouts from earlier. But good thing because now he realizes somethings amiss and that maybe Charley was telling the truth about a real vampire living in Las Vegas.
• Why bother putting up crucifixes all over your mom’s hospital room when Jerry wasn’t harmed or scared of the crucifix in the scene earlier. In fact he made Charley’s crucifix burst into flames.
• Is Ginger Peter Vincent’s girlfriend or assistant? Or both! She’s also one of the stars of his act. She does it all! They also hate each other.
• Where has Ed been this whole time? Making other deliveries to other victims? Why wasn’t he helping Jerry take care of Charley?

• Why does Peter Vincent have a panic room in his Las Vegas hotel room?
• The security camera doesn’t show vampires? I thought it was supposed to be mirrors? Now it’s cameras and video? Odd.
• There’s a tad too much action and fighting in this vampire flick for my liking. It’s vampires, they should be slow. These fight scenes are like watching a Venom movie.
• How’d she know that chalice had holy water? How’d she even know it had liquid in it? It could’ve been empty. That was a big gamble.
• So holy water stays holy indefinitely huh? I’m sure that chalice wasn’t filled recently since it was encased. 
• And Charley is still a dick to Ed. Even more so now. There was no redemption for Ed’s character. Just some nerd with a chip on his shoulder turned vampire minion.
• Jerry kidnapping Amy and walking out of this busy club with her over his shoulders is way more suspicious than him just biting her on the dance floor.
• I always love how shop owners of army/navy surplus stores always give dirty looks at people when they buy weapons and supplies for battle. Like, you’re the one selling this stuff asshole.
• How’d did Peter Vincent explain Ginger’s death to the authorities? I love how most horror movies gloss over minor insignificant character’s deaths. 
• And also blown up homes.
• There’s really not much to nitpick or complain about for this flick. It’s actually very well done. Shocking I know!
• There really wasn’t any reason for Jerry to say “Welcome to Fright Night.” Doesn’t really make any sense in the context to this film.

• Hahahaha. Jerry threw a pebble at Peter’s head much to Peter’s annoyance and confusion. 
• But it was so blood would drop from his forehead.
• That one drop of blood was enough to resurrect Jerry’s vampire minions? Odd.
• Not sure why Amy is wearing a very nice sexy dress now. No amount of seduction is going to work on Charley now. Remember he was tired earlier in the movie and refused her advances.
• 400 years of survival? Jerry almost bit the big one by Charley’s mom with the sign post.
• Great new twist to the grand finale. A little on the unbelievable side because how long was Charlie expecting to survive being engulfed in flames but otherwise that was a very original and novel twist to fighting a vampire.
• The finale would be even better is if they found a way to make Peter Vincent’s “illusions” or stage routine play a part in fighting or distracting Jerry. That would give that character more to do. I feel like Peter Vincent really didn’t contribute all that much to the story.

POOTS!

• My only concern is what if Peter didn’t have a light? Why didn’t Charlie bring his own lighter? And was that suit Charley bought at the Army/Navy store supposed to be flame retardant as well as flammable?
• Did Peter Vincent lend his hotel room (where people recently died gruesome deaths) so Amy and Charley could bone on the floor? Very strange.
• Again, great titles.

Final Thoughts: This is how you do a remake! This is up there with Zack Snyder’s Dawn of the Dead and Luca Guadagnino’s Suspiria in terms of doing a remake well. I’m not saying they are necessarily better than the originals but well-made, entertaining as well as bringing something new to the story. 2011’s Fright Night eschewed the original’s highly sexual nature and teenage coming-of-age story, which I think made the original a unique twist to the otherwise tired vampire story but I think it still is a very fun movie. Colin Farrell is terrific as well as the rest of the cast and I highly recommend this film whether you’re a fan of the original or not.

Score: 9 Stretch Armstrong Masturbation Techniques (out of 10)

Which was Better?: It’s a tie! I like both equally and for different reasons. I like the sexual awakening and even the gay overtones of the original as well as the more Hammer-gothic style to the story and I like the more action -adventure aspect of the remake as well as the updated special effects and Colin Farrell’s scenery-chewing.