The Gate 2: The Trespassers (1990)

Trailer:

*Spoilers Throughout*

What’s This About: Remember The Gate? No? Here’s my old review of it back in 2012! Well this sequel doesn’t have Stephen Dorff or really any of the little claymation demons either. But it does have the dork Terry and added Pamela Adlon. Something occurs involving demons but few and far between.

Here are some of my observations as I watched the film:

• Ya know I’m kinda glad that modern movies eschew the opening titles. I  mean, especially if the opening titles are on a blank black background and just running a list of names I’ll never know or never care about.
• Hey it’s the same dorky metal kid from the first flick! I wouldn’t have imagined that anyone would’ve returned for this sequel.
• It’s kinda like Short Circuit 2 where the only returning human was Fisher Stevens.
• He’s talking about the events of the first film while looking across the street at Stephen Dorff’s dilapidated house. I can’t believe that no one has done a thing to that house in all this time. Surely it’s bringing the property value down.
• It’s unclear why Terry is doing something about the gate and summoning of the demons thing again on this particular night. But I suppose starting this movie off is a good enough reason as any.
• Hahahaha. He’s wearing a cape. Ceremonial.
• Why does he want the demons to return? No seriously. Why is he fucking around with the demons?
• His level of high tech mixed with druid-style ceremonies is really odd. Also how did he get these lasers to make a ceremonial circle?
• “Satanism is for pussies” This tough guy would certainly know.
• Wait! Is that Pamela Adlon?! Holy shit-balls it is!
• It says a lot about a person who comes across a demon ritual and says, eh, why not, I’ll help you out. Don’t these delinquent kids have anything better to do? And folks today complain that the kids sit at home all day and stare at screens and make Tik-Toks. At least they are staying out of trouble.
• “Demons don’t like to be jerked around!” This guy knows from experience.
• This could be the earliest work I’ve seen of Pamela Adlon and I must say, she could give E.G. Daily a run for her money. (*I’m not counting Grease 2, SpaceCamp or Say Anything…)

• I’d like to see Pamela Adlon’s gates if you know what I mean?
• Terry is straight up sick. He’s sacrificing his pet hamster to the demons.
• Well that was the plan but he pussed out.
• One of the “bad boys” was tough enough to do it.
• Moe, the sheepish of the thugs, says “John, I think you’re right man, we should’ve gone cruising.” I hope he means cruising as in drive around aimlessly and not the Al Pacino way.
• YES! The cute claymation demons are back!
• So now John is pissed at Terry for summoning demons when they clearly could’ve left Terry alone in the first place. I didn’t hear John trying to dissuade Terry in messing with the occult arts.
• Is Terry going to nurse the little wounded demon back to health? Nope. He keeps it in a large jar of formaldehyde. Where would one get a huge jar like that? Or formaldehyde?
• Terry’s dad says he has a job interview. Terry asks where and the dad states it’s at his old job and they want him back. But they’re going to interview him again anyway?
• Maybe that’s no formaldehyde but watered down mayonnaise. Or two gallons of Terry’s semen.
• Huh? Why is Terry’s room unfinished? I mean, his one wall has no drywall and the studs and insulation are exposed. Why?! If I recall from the first film, he had a proper and decent room fit for a 80s teenager. Did his dad banish him to the garage.
• That teacher is harsh. Terry stares into the distance in his own little world and ignores her and she quickly gives him detention. Maybe he’s going through some rough stuff at home ya bitch. He lives in a garage for chrissakes!
• Is this movie going to ship Pamela Adlon and Terry? Not sure if I can handle that.
• This detention teacher is a poor man’s Terry O’Quinn.
• Moe reluctantly takes a toke of John’s reefer because he’s working. But Moe is just bussing large canisters of toxic waste in a warehouse. And that requires a ton of laser focus and determination.
• John wants to try one of Moe’s heart pills because he thinks it’ll get him high. I can see John licking the minion later on to try to get a buzz.
• Terry can’t draw for shit.

• Terry’s dad got his old job back despite him being a lush. Oh wait, he’s not the airline pilot he used to be, he’s now a baggage expediter. Goals.
• Gawd, I love these tiny demon minions. Cute as well as vicious. You gotta love ‘em.
• Awesome! Terry is fighting this minion in his room and the minion grabs a pair of scissors and tries to run at Terry. But Terry uses his hockey stick to kick the shit out the little bugger. He then traps the poor thing in a metal trash can and bangs it to disorientate the little bastard. This scene rules.
• So Terry’s dad is a pilot after all? Color me as confused as Terry. Did the demons fool Terry into thinking Terry’s dad is a deadbeat? Kinda a weird hallucination no?
• Yeah how did Pamela get in Terry’s house? I mean, I guess I wouldn’t complain if Pamela Adlon just waltzed into my house uninvited but still.
• Of course, Terry is totally blowing all his chances by boring Pamela with demon history.
• She seems into it though. Probably not into it enough to show skin for but she seems interested.
• “I just stood there like a geek.” Don’t you always stand like a geek Terry?
• Wait, Terry is summoning demons to help his dad get his life together? I thought he was concerned for the safety to the Earth against demons.
• So according to this flick, these demons can grant wishes. I didn’t say anything earlier because it’s A. stupid and B. I wasn’t sure how and if it would pertain to the plot. But that’s why Terry summoned the demons, to wish for a better life for him and his dad. Now Pamela, seeing that the wishes work, just wished for a corvette and now Terry and Pamela are going on a joyride.
• They are going nuts on the wishes. The vette is loaded with various loot. I don’t know why all the stuff is wrapped like Christmas gifts though. Did they wish from random wrapped stuff?
• Hahaha, all the goods they got with the wishes turned to literal shit the next day. Why these wishes only have a half-life as Terry explains is questionable. But you know what this means.

• So did Terry’s dad crash a plane?
• Hahaha, Terry’s dad’s boss is telling someone that it was just a cargo plane and it never left the ground! Did the plane just spontaneously combust?!
• “Excuse me, so he has a faggot’s name instead of an assole’s name.” That’s what John says when Pamela corrects him that Terrence’s name is not Larry.
• Aw, John is just a tough guy who has trouble expressing his feelings. I get it.
• “Who needs demons when you got chicks.” There’s very little difference between the two.
• We are 48 minutes into this feature and so far no gates.
• So John and Moe broke into Terry’s house and stole the minion. They are now driving around and getting it high. I’m not joking.
• That’s the one thing missing from the Gremlins movies. They never got the Gremlins high. Imagine that hilarity.
• Where did Moe get the fire extinguisher in John’s car?
• John and Moe have the right idea. Wishing for cash. Spend the cash as quick as possible and in the morning the cash will turn to shit and it’ll all be fine.
• Now Pamela barges in on Terry at the hospital while he’s visiting his dad. This girl crashes everywhere.
• “It’s OK to touch me too.” As weird as that permission sounds it’s also kinda sweet.
• So John and Moe got their cash and the first thing we see them do with this abundance of wealth is fine dining at a fancy restaurant. Just the two of them. No ladies despite John has Pamela Adlon as a girlfriend. And Moe orders escargot for chrissakes.

• “You screw around with the gate and you’ll let them back on Earth. It’s like ringing the damn dinner bell.” Someone saw Jaws.
• Bernie’s sauce? Hilarious.
• As expected the cash Moe and John think they have turns to shit before they have the chance to spend it. Did not see that coming.
• So these wishes literally turn to shit within a few hours. What’s the point?
• I just realized that John is wearing a bowtie with a t-shirt at the fancy restaurant. Classy as always.
• “Three rods of lapis lazuli” is one of the ingredients to summon the demons. Pamela reads that ingredient with no issue and on top of that Terry doesn’t bat an eye to it either. 
• OK, I just googled Lapis Lazuli and it turns out it’s a gemstone. So I’m sure one can get a few rods of it at their local Natural Wonders back in the early 90s.
• This fancy restaurant’s men’s lavatory looks like a high school bathroom. Just saying.
• John’s not feeling so well. Probably some demon allergy or something. But it does give him super strength so there’s that. 
• Another ingredient is the blood of the innocent and Terry cuts his finger to extract some drops. He then tells Pamela that he hates that part. Has he done this more than once?
• I can’t believe I’m saying this but I’m really missing Stephen Dorff. I wonder what he was doing that was so important to pass up starring in The Gate 2…(checks wikipedia)…he was in a highly rated TV movie along with Patty Duke. Pfft!
• Was there any real plot-related reason that Moe has a heart condition and needs pills? He keeps mentioning it but so far it means zilch to anything.
• “You don’t change from Minion bites” How does Terry know this?!
• Maybe that’s what this movie is really lacking: Weredemons!
• With a half-hour left, I’m pondering the reason this movie was subtitled: “The Trespassers.” So far the only trespasser is that one minion. Back in the ritual scene, our protagonists somehow warped to another dimension for a hot minute and I thought that that would play out in a greater capacity in this story, hence them being the trespassers but I’m still left wondering.
• Wait a minute. So Moe captured John and took him to the warehouse where he works to contain him. But then Moe ran into Pamela and Terry in the driveway as they were leaving. How did he end up at Terry’s house without a car?
• A finale set in an empty factory or power plant. How original.
• Now John is a large claymation demon and takes the dead body of the recently dead Moe. Who died when his heart gave out and he plummeted a few stories.
• Terry is spouting out some gibberish like “The Unholy Trinity” and “They’re coming not from gates or doors but within humans.” I really don’t quite get it all.
• Do you ever watch a terrible movie that no one will ever care about and think about how expensive a movie is and how that money would benefit the homeless or destitute and then feel sad that you’re watching this while many homeless people are starving because some film company wanted to make a shitty sequel about claymation demons? No? It’s just me?
• So Moe surprises our heroes by being alive again and he says wanna see something and he opens up his shirt to reveal his now demon skin and the camera pans up to reveal that his face is also demonic and why exactly did he have to do the shirt opening bit instead of just changing his face to shock them?
• Ah. Now we’re back in the demon dimension. Just kinda looks like the Moon.
• Plot twist. Demonic Moe tells Terry that they didn’t start this….but Terry did. And he’s right. Terry started all this bullshit just to help his drunk deadbeat dad.
• I guess this film’s budget couldn’t afford more than one tiny minion at a time. That sucks.
• For some reason Terry is also now a demon and about to sacrifice Pamela but the little Minion they trapped earlier in Terry’s mom’s music box escapes which activates the music box’s music and that stops Terry from doing the deed. 

• Terry then throws the music box into the gate and yada yada yada saves Pamela and the world. I think he died along with Moe and John but I fail to care.
• Yeah he died. There’s even a funeral scene for him. I’m sure in a moment of me writing this note that his resurrected body will show up somehow.
• There he is. And he’s loving seeing his own funeral. This whole time I was fantasizing about my funeral.
• Oh wait, this movie sucked all the joy that was the minion wielding a pair of scissors scene.
• And why does his coffin have demonic symbols on it? Who did that? And who would allow it?!
• Why the fuck is Moe and John in Terry’s coffin? Well that ruins everything.

 

Was it Entertaining: Not really. Especially since the first one is far and away a fun watch even til this day. It’s dreadfully boring and forgettable and the plot makes very little sense. The first one was tight and easy to follow and had a decent creepy factor. Plus way more demon minions. A sequel is supposed to up the ante from the original. This movie should’ve had Terry open a hell gate and have a legion of demon minions invade Earth.

Any Good Gore: zero point zero.

Any Nudity: I could reuse my old joke from the first Gate flick regarding nudity but I’m not.

Best Quote:  “Demons don’t like to be jerked around!” If that quote didn’t go on the VHS box, then I give up!

Best Scene: Easily the scene when Terry is fighting a scissor-wielding minion with a hockey stick.

Worst Scene: I’d be lying if I said the dinner scene between Moe and John was the worst. I was actually kinda of entertained with that scene. But as far as worst scenes go I’d vote for the finale in hell. Sucked worse than a broken Hoover.

Final Thoughts: Sadly for you 5 fans of the original Gate this sequel craps the bed in terms of giving you superb demon fun. They removed the main demon that Stephen Dorff destroyed with a toy rocket and gave us minion’s that dole out cheap wishes like a dime-store leprechaun. The original had some decent scares and creepy scenes (like Terry dancing with the dead dog; the old man that morphs into multiple minions) but this one is a complete dud and (I’m assuming) killed the franchise. 

Score: 3 Rods of Lapis Lazuli (out of ten)