We saw this Sci-Fi romp a few weeks ago and had a long text message discussion about it:

Brian: Should’ve watched Gringo. 

Brad: Should’ve watched Sexsquatch.

Brian: It probably has better acting. 

Brad: And the plot wouldn’t be so mind boggling. 

Brian: Well see for three years they kept sending in teams of people that were never heard from again, but they thought maybe this time it would work if they sent in all broads. 

Brad: Right! I thought at one point they would state a reason for a team of only females but nope. Just ran out of fellas I guess. 

I also thought the fact that Jennifer Jason Leigh had cancer was going to play a part but again, nope. 

Brian: Nothing led to anything. 

I’m not sure why Natalie Portman was the sole character with any backstory besides “cutter” and “cancer”

Brad: I totally forgot the backstory about the cutter. 

Brian: That’s ok it didn’t matter at all. Unless that’s how the plants got in. 

Brad: I’d like to think the plants got in another way.

Brian: 

Brad: Exactly!

Brian: The sex with her co-worker was pretty much the same thing. 

Brad: And speaking of that scene, it was probably the worst sex scene in history. And yes worse than The Accused! It was so passionless and creepy.

Brian: Because Natalie Portman was involved. The important thing is how much it affected the plot. 

Brad: I was mildly concerned about how Portman knew how to fire a machine gun without a training scene but they addressed that she served in the armed forces. But that still doesn’t explain how the other broads knew how. Are they telling us a psychologist is already well-trained in firearms?

Brian: I would think they would have been trained for a while if they knew they were going in. But there was no indication of that in the movie. 

Brad: And did the Oscar Isaac doppelgänger walk from the lighthouse back to Portman’s house on foot? Or did the shimmer call an Uber?

Brian: He rode the screaming bear there. They should have explained that Jennifer Jason Leigh had a giant brain tumor and that’s why she was emotionless. 

Brad: They really dropped a great opportunity of having the chicks fight an army of plant people. 

Brian: Yeah that would have been sweet.

Brad: So I understood the whole premise that the alien entity was mutating or morphing cells from one life form to another. That made sense. But what I didn’t get was why the trees bear the lighthouse were made out of glass. 

Brian: Sand?

 

Brad: That’s not organic. 

Brian: Neither is Natalie Portman. 

Brad: Which is why the alien doppelgänger in the lighthouse playing mirror with her was made out of greasy, oiled chrome. 

Brian: The story with Kane’s group seemed to be a thousand times more interesting. 

Brad: They could always make a prequel. Did they explain why they couldn’t fly a helicopter into the shimmer? 

Brian: Maybe?

Brad: Or why they couldn’t take a boat from the water side of the shimmer?

Brian: I remember they said they sent in drones that didn’t come back, but there was no reason given. 

Brad: Right. Now I remember that. But again, did they really try hard enough? They could’ve parachuted right over the lighthouse. 

Brian: It was a pretty half-assed operation. 

It seems like I lost an hour today and I don’t remember it. I must be in The Shimmer. Oh well, I won’t bring it up again.

Brad: Did you get a random infinity tattoo on your arm and you don’t know how it got there and you really don’t care or bring it up?

Brian: Yes but it’s on my scrotum. 

Brad: Hahaha. To infinity and beyond! No seriously, where did her tattoo come from and why doesn’t she care? Did the Shimmer ink her before it let her go? I feel like half of that movie was deleted scenes. 

Brian: Remember she had a bruise and then it turned into a tattoo? But it didn’t matter in the slightest. Just something else surreal just because. 

Brad: Oh yeah the bruise. That she got from nothing. 

Brian: Like the blood by her eye that got sucked into the hole at the end. Where did that come from?

Brad: Oh yeah. That part pissed me off too because it was so random. 

Brian: And why did her alien double just stand there holding the grenade?

Brad: Right. Every other move it made mimicked or attacked Portman but maybe it was just touched by the gift? It seemed grateful to have received something.

Brian: Well it was its birthday. 

Brad: Very true. I was wondering if Portman was going to outsmart its mimicry by turning around and walking backwards to get out of the lighthouse.

Brian: That would have made sense. 

Brad: The alien kinda reminded me of this:

Brian: Hahaha! That would have been better. 

Brad: Remember that intense reading-separately-in-the-living-room scene?! What would we have done if that scene was cut out!?

Brian: Then we wouldn’t have known that their marriage was in trouble, which didn’t amount to anything anyway. 

Brad: Is that what that scene was supposed to convey? I didn’t get that message from that scene at all. AT ALL! To me, it was tranquil. They even had a nice look at each other and said ‘hi’ I think.

Brian: I don’t fucking know. 

Brad: Hahaha

Brian: What else were they going to show during the time that scene took up? A little exposition or character building for the other women??

Another thing about Annihilation, why was Jennifer Jason Leigh keeping watch down on the ground in everyone was sleeping up in a fucking watchtower?

Brad: Great point.

Brian: “I’m going to keep watch but would like to greatly reduce my watch area.”

Brad: I totally get the mutation and morphing aspect of the Shimmer but why would it also disorient and make people go insane inside? So it affects people as soon as they enter it just by them breathing the air? Right after the ladies entered it the next scene they thought they were there for days and not hours.

Brian: Which oddly didn’t happen again. 

Brad: But whatever anyway, why did this need to be addressed. Isn’t it tough enough that there were mutant killer animals and possible viruses and a mimicking alien. I forget, did they say/show how Portman got out of the shimmer?

Brian: It went away, so she walked out. 

Brad: So the ending was ambiguous with the audience not sure if both Isaac and Portman as doppelgängers right? But Isaac’s doppelgänger was able to leave the Shimmer no problem. And why would Portman’s doppelgänger want to destroy the Shimmer? I guess to fool the rest of the world that everything is A-OK now and she can infect the rest of the world. Right?

Brian: I guess she was still herself but mutated a bit. 

Brad: And why exactly was Isaac’s doppelgänger so ill and near death?

Brian: Unrelated AIDS. 

Brad: Hahaha!

Brian: I’m no military operations expert, but I’d think after sending in dozens of people over three years and none of them coming back they’d stop doing that. 

Brad: Or try something else. What was stopping them from bombing the shit out of it?

Brian: If they knew they wanted to go to that lighthouse why didn’t they take a boat right to it?

Brad: That’s what I said yesterday!

Brian: I KNOW!!

Brad: That’s the fastest and quickest and most direct and MOST LIKELY the least dangerous!

Brian: Or if a boat wouldn’t work, start walking on the beach. 

Brad: Unless there was a giant mutated shark or squid. Right, why go miles through thick uncharted jungle/forest/swamp!?

Brian: But if the Shimmer started small and kept growing, why was HQ so far? Why not right there? And they said time was running out because it was going to envelop the HQ, but they didn’t even know what would happen when it did. 

Brad: They didn’t know jack squat! Because no one ever returned! And why didn’t they go in with hazmat suits like Benedict Wong and his team had?

Brian: You would think.

I read that the tattoo on her arm was the same one on one of the soldiers and since the Shimmer reflected DNA she picked that up (or something). 

Which begs the question if any of them started to grow dicks.

Brad: It also still doesn’t explain how she got the tattoo and why no one, including her cared about it.

Brian: And it’s not organic, so it makes no sense. 

Brad: Good point, unless the ink was alien cum.

Brian: Everything was alien cum.